The Dark Side Of An INFJ: 8 Shadow Traits

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The Dark Side Of An INFJ Shadow Traits

While we like to believe in heroes and villains, in reality, all of us tend to exist in different shades of gray. Like yin and yang, all of us have a little bit of darkness within us regardless of how positive we try to be.

And this is especially true for the personality type – INFJ, which stands for introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging.

But what exactly is an INFJ? 

A rare personality type in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), INFJs are thoughtful individuals who are full of imagination. They are driven by strong principles, personal values and inner vision.

INFJs possess introspection, intuition, empathy, and organization skills. They’re known for their idealism, keen insights, and a strong urge to help others. They are dreamers and doers who stand out of the crowd.

But even these gentle souls have a shadow lurking.

The Dark Side of An INFJs    

So what does this “dark side” of an INFJ actually mean? Simply put, it refers to the negative traits and behaviors that can emerge if an INFJ is under stress, experiencing burnout, or not taking care of their mental health.

Their strong empathy and desire to please others can turn inward and manifest in things like low self-esteem, people pleasing to an extreme, or living for others instead of themselves.

Read The Dark Side Of INFJs: 11 Warning Signs Of An Unhealthy INFJ

When overly stressed, an INFJ may be frustrated, angry, anxious or even depressed. This can affect their behavior, personality, actions and even relationships.

In this article, we are going to shed some light on the dark side of an Infj so that you can better manage this aspect of your personality type.

1. Feeling Too Much 

Infj’s possess an uncanny ability to understand and connect with the emotions of others. However, this heightened sensitivity can be overwhelming, leading to what we call the “empathetic overload.”

Imagine your heart’s like a sponge, soaking up everything. That’s how INFJs feel – sometimes it’s too much, and they end up super drained.

They often put others’ needs before their own, which can result in neglecting their own emotional well-being. This constant emotional burden can lead to exhaustion and burnout.

2. They Are Worry Warts   

Infjs often overthink what others think of them. “Did I say something wrong? Do they like me?” It’s a non-stop rollercoaster of intrusive thoughts and worries!

One of the biggest challenges for INFJs is low self-worth and people pleasing tendencies taken too far. This can breed insecurity if they don’t remind themselves of their own strengths and values.

3. Wanting Everything Perfect 

INFJs are known for their high standards and desire for perfection. While this trait often serves them well, it can also become a source of inner turmoil, leading to the “perfectionist struggle.”

They set impossibly high standards for themselves and feel frustrated when they fall short. This self-imposed pressure can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and even a fear of failure.

4. Approval-Seeking Behavior   

They REALLY want people to like them. So much that sometimes they forget what they like themselves. Over time this erodes their sense of identity and Self. It’s crucial for INFJs to love themselves unconditionally and prioritize their well-being too.

5. Feeling Alone in a Crowd 

Even in a room full of friends, an INFJ might feel like they’re on a deserted island, sending smoke signals for deep connections.

They have rich inner worlds and deep thoughts that are not always easily understood by others. They yearn for genuine connections, yet they struggle to find individuals who truly understand them. This sense of isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and a constant search for meaningful relationships.

6. Keeping Feelings in a Bottle 

INFJs absorb everyone else’s feelings, which can leave them overwhelmed. To cope, they often bottle up their own emotions so as not to burden others. They’re champs at hiding emotions. But just like a soda bottle, if you shake it up too much without opening the lid… BOOM!

7. Being the Superhero

Always saving the day and forgetting to save themselves. They often go all out for others, even if it means running on empty.

This selflessness, while admirable, can lead to feelings of being taken for granted or unappreciated.

8. Forgetting ‘Me Time’ 

They often forget to take breaks. Imagine skipping charging your phone; it’s the same with their energy. They need to plug into some self-love!

They must learn to be kinder to themselves, accept limitations, and celebrate efforts and progress instead of endless striving for flawlessness.

Alright, folks! Before you paint INFJs with a dark brush, remember – it’s these very shadows that add depth to their luminous qualities.

If you’re an INFJ, remember – embracing your shadows is the first step towards illuminating them. Balance, after all, is where true strength lies.

Are you an INFJ? Can you relate with these traits? How do you cope with your dark side? Do let us know in the comments below.


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  1. Kaye Avatar
    Kaye

    I can really relate gives me a better understanding of myself and that I’m okey.

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