Stop Loving People You Feel You Need To Save


I’ve always tried to save people.

I am not sure why I have always gravitated toward someone who would make my life messy—someone who I thought could change their shitty habits if they had my guidance; someone who could be the best version of themselves because of me.

My project. My personal masterpiece.

I took in people who had commitment issues. I allowed people who were emotionally unavailable to find a place in my heart. I found people who had been broken, and didn’t know how to put themselves back together.

They didn’t know how to love, how to let go of their past, how to show up for me, how to be the person they were meant to be.

I thought that if I overlooked all of the times they blew me off, left without a warning, said hurtful things and forgave them each time they came back, they would be one step closer to being ready.

See, I wanted to be with these people. I saw something in each of them…pieces that weren’t shown to everyone around them. I thought I knew these people on a level that was deeper than exterior looks and fronted personalities.

Their souls, their fears, their stories…that’s what I clung to.

But as time has gone on, and I reflect on all of the projects I started, I realize that I have no masterpieces to show anyone. I have a lot of projects that were started, yet never finished.

Every person I have tried to save and loved without question, ultimately proved to me that they were not capable of being the person I thought they could be—the person they swore they wanted to be.

In a way, I always felt like I failed them. Had I done something differently, maybe they would have realized it is possible to let go, start over, embark on a new journey with someone who wanted the best life for them. They would want me. They would want us.

But all I have been left with are years of sleepless nights spent worrying about accommodating someone else’s feelings and putting my own on the back-burner. I was the crutch, the crying shoulder…yet when I needed their support, they were nowhere to be found.
I have always tried to save people…and I have always lost myself in the process.

I am still trying to learn and accept that love shouldn’t be this big, complicated situation where you need to save someone.

Everyone has their issues, their own form of baggage. However, you shouldn’t have to work on molding someone into a better form of themselves in order for them to fit into your life.

You also can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.

At some point, we have to realize that people are who they are, and nothing you say or do will ever change that.

So this is 22-year-old me, who is about to graduate college, and is encouraging you to look at the situation you are in right now and analyze whether or not this is healthy.

We can love someone so much that we don’t want to accept that they don’t add value to our lives. But trust me when I say that until you let go of the idea that you can save this person—that you can keep someone around who is not easily kept, you will miss out.
You will miss out on someone who shows up on their own. Who calls back without being asked. Who makes a commitment because they want to and not because of guilt. Who does the little things because that is who they are as a person.

So if you find someone who you cannot save, show them love, but send them on their way.

Because the only person you can save is yourself.

Stop Loving People You Feel You Need To Save

— Share —

— About the Author —


Leave a Reply

Up Next

5 Powerful Benefits of Imaginative Thinking

Imaginative Thinking: Powerful Benefits Of Imagination

The benefits of imaginative thinking are unending to be honest. However, in this article we are going to explore five of the most interesting and powerful benefits of imagination and imaginative thinking.


Imagination is a fundamental aspect of human life.

Imagination enables one to look beyond the world as it is.

Imagination helps create different lenses through which to see the world.


Up Next

What Kind Of Angry Are You? The 4 Types Of Anger

The Types Of Anger: What Kind Of An Angry Person Are You?

Everyone gets angry at some point, and anger is probably one of the most common emotions we feel. But did you know there are different types of anger, namely, 4 types of anger? This article is going to talk about the different types of anger and how they look like. So, what is your anger style? Let’s find out!

Anger may rear its emotional head in irritation and annoyance, self-pity and withdrawal, envy and resentment, or vengeance and violence. Our anger may fill the room with dominance or veil itself in anxiety or avoidance.

Those who internalize anger may question whether they have the right to be angry and avoid direct confrontation. They stuff their anger down to prevent offending, being disliked, or losing control.

Those who externalize anger resort to blaming, shaming, and engage i

Up Next

Stop Texting Your Ex ‘Happy Birthday’ – Here Are 5 Reasons Why!

Stop Texting Your Ex Happy Birthday: Important Reasons

Have you found yourself scrolling through Snapchat memories, thinking of texting your ex happy birthday? You think to yourself, can sending a simple “Happy Birthday” text hurt? But don’t be fooled by temptation – it’s never a good idea.

Life is full of ups and downs, but some things are better left alone. Making contact with them on their special day could stir up old emotions and put you in a tough place.

It not only opens doors to issues but also sends mixed signals, confuses both parties involved, and even more so can bring back haunting memories that should stay in the

Up Next

50+ Deep Self Reflection Questions For Personal Growth

Deep Self Reflection Questions For Personal Growth

Are you ready for some deep self reflection about growth? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Self reflection questions are like little nuggets of wisdom that can help you uncover and understand your true self, aid in your personal growth, and make sense of this crazy journey called life.

Whether you’re looking to understand yourself more deeply, set new goals, or simply gain clarity, these self reflection questions are going to serve as your trusty companions. So grab a cozy spot, maybe a cup of tea, and get ready to dive into the depths of your mind, and do some much-needed self reflection about growth.

Related: 40 Deep Questions To Ask I

Up Next

4 Benefits Of Moving Meditation And How To Do It: Dance Your Stress Away!

Ways To Elevate Your Spirit with Moving Meditation Magic

Do you find meditation challenging? Is sitting still during meditation difficult for you? Then you would be more than glad to know about moving meditation. If traditional meditation isn’t working for you, then you can still find inner peace while on the move.

Welcome to the world of moving meditation, where the gentle flow of movement becomes a pathway to inner harmony and mindfulness. Instead of zoning out on a cushion, you can get your zen on while walking, dancing, or even washing dishes. Sounds pretty cool, right? 

Today, let us explore what is moving meditation, discover its various types, delve into the numerous movement meditation benefits, and learn how to incorporate this beautiful practice into our daily lives. Here every step, sway, and scrub becomes a pathway to inner peace. So, let’s dive in.

Up Next

How To Stop A Racing Mind: 7 Techniques For Mastering Mental Turbulence

How To Stop A Racing Mind: Ways To Tame A Racing Mind

Ever found yourself lying in bed, desperately trying to sleep after a long, tiring day, but your mind refuses to do so? It feels like your mind is racing like a Formula 1 car on caffeine. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! That relentless stream of thoughts can feel overwhelming, leaving you feeling restless and exhausted. So, how to stop a racing mind?

In this article, we’ll talk about the meaning of racing thoughts and how to calm a busy mind. Let’s explore the seven best ways to stop your mind from racing, and discover the blissful art of finding your inner calm amidst all the chaos.

First, let’s talk about the meaning of racing thoughts.


Up Next

8 Ways How To Heal Your Inner Teenager: Say Goodbye To Teenage Wounds And Thrive

How To Heal Your Inner Teenager: Life-Changing Steps

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by emotions, react impulsively, or experience a sense of insecurity and self-doubt? These are signs that your inner teenager might be in need of healing. Let’s explore how to heal your inner teenager.

Hey there, soul wanderer! In life, we often feel stuck, anxious, fearful, and out of touch with our inner selves. This can make us behave and react in certain ways that are reminiscent of our teenage years. This might happen due to certain negative experiences, traumas, and emotional wounds that deeply affected us when we were a teenager. 

Just like a physical wound, our emotional wounds from our teenage years can linger and affect us well into adulthood. This is why healing is absolutely crucial for self-discovery and empowerment. But how to heal the inner teenager?