Stop Loving People You Feel You Need To Save

 / 

Iโ€™ve always tried to save people.

I am not sure why I have always gravitated toward someone who would make my life messyโ€”someone who I thought could change their shitty habits if they had my guidance; someone who could be the best version of themselves because of me.

My project. My personal masterpiece.

I took in people who had commitment issues. I allowed people who were emotionally unavailable to find a place in my heart. I found people who had been broken, and didnโ€™t know how to put themselves back together.

They didnโ€™t know how to love, how to let go of their past, how to show up for me, how to be the person they were meant to be.

I thought that if I overlooked all of the times they blew me off, left without a warning, said hurtful things and forgave them each time they came back, they would be one step closer to being ready.

See, I wanted to be with these people. I saw something in each of themโ€ฆpieces that werenโ€™t shown to everyone around them. I thought I knew these people on a level that was deeper than exterior looks and fronted personalities.

Their souls, their fears, their storiesโ€ฆthatโ€™s what I clung to.

But as time has gone on, and I reflect on all of the projects I started, I realize that I have no masterpieces to show anyone. I have a lot of projects that were started, yet never finished.

Every person I have tried to save and loved without question, ultimately proved to me that they were not capable of being the person I thought they could beโ€”the person they swore they wanted to be.

In a way, I always felt like I failed them. Had I done something differently, maybe they would have realized it is possible to let go, start over, embark on a new journey with someone who wanted the best life for them. They would want me. They would want us.

But all I have been left with are years of sleepless nights spent worrying about accommodating someone elseโ€™s feelings and putting my own on the back-burner. I was the crutch, the crying shoulderโ€ฆyet when I needed their support, they were nowhere to be found.
I have always tried to save peopleโ€ฆand I have always lost myself in the process.

I am still trying to learn and accept that love shouldnโ€™t be this big, complicated situation where you need to save someone.

Everyone has their issues, their own form of baggage. However, you shouldnโ€™t have to work on molding someone into a better form of themselves in order for them to fit into your life.

You also canโ€™t save someone who doesnโ€™t want to be saved.

At some point, we have to realize that people are who they are, and nothing you say or do will ever change that.

So this is 22-year-old me, who is about to graduate college, and is encouraging you to look at the situation you are in right now and analyze whether or not this is healthy.

We can love someone so much that we donโ€™t want to accept that they donโ€™t add value to our lives. But trust me when I say that until you let go of the idea that you can save this personโ€”that you can keep someone around who is not easily kept, you will miss out.
You will miss out on someone who shows up on their own. Who calls back without being asked. Who makes a commitment because they want to and not because of guilt. Who does the little things because that is who they are as a person.

So if you find someone who you cannot save, show them love, but send them on their way.

Because the only person you can save is yourself.

Stop Loving People You Feel You Need To Save

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Focus Like A Monk: What Is Monk Mode And 10 Ways It Can Help You Succeed In Lifeย 

What is Monk Mode and How Can It Transform Your Life?

Do you find it hard to focus on a task? Do you get easily distracted? Not sure how to enter a flow state and do your best? If you are looking for ways to focus amidst the chaos and find some inner peace, then let me introduce you to the fascinating concept of “Monk Mode.” What is monk mode, you ask?

If you have been on social media lately, you must have heard about monk mode, a concept that has been gaining a lot of attention on TikTok. Based on the mindset and lifestyle of disciplined monks, this process allows us to reach our peak productivity.

So let us delve into the depths of monk mode, explore the myriad monk mode benefits, and provide practical tips on how to get into monk mode to transform your life.

What is M



Up Next

14 Benefits Of Visualization And How To Harness It’s Power

Benefits Of Visualization And How To Harness It's Power

The power of visualization is not something that a lot of people might know about. However, once you know how to harness it’s power, you will see that the benefits of visualization can be endless. Explore the power of creative visualization and it’s benefits.

โ€œThe man who has no imagination has no wings.โ€ โ€”Mohammad Ali

Youโ€™re probably familiar with the old saying, โ€œSeeing is believing.โ€ Well, itโ€™s this adageโ€™s simple concept thatโ€™s at the core of a powerful form of mental exercise called visualization. This practice isnโ€™t just for casual daydreamers, though.



Up Next

How To Be Less Nervous And More Confident? 15 Sentences To Change Your Mindset

How To Be Less Nervous And More Confident? Cool Ways

Feeling anxious and wondering how to be less nervous? Well, you’re not aloneโ€”everyone gets jittery from time to time.

But here’s the thing: nerves are just a part of being human, and there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, let me share 15 sentences that might just help if you’re thinking about how to make yourself less nervous.

You’re NOT feeling fear โ€“ it’s excitement. The tingling sensation that runs down your spine is your bodyโ€™s way of telling you to get ready for what’s coming next. Instead of being scared, try and think about how thrilling this journey will be.



Up Next

8 Formidable Habits Of Stress-Resistant Minds

Habits Of Stress-Resistant Minds: Great Signs Of Resilience

We all know life can really test us sometimes, and it feels like a never-ending roller-coaster ride that’s all about deadlines, bills, responsibilities and unexpected curveballs. It’s easy to give into the stress of it all and lose our s***, but that doesn’t help, does it? Today we are going to talk about a few habits of stress-resistant minds and how you can be one of them.

Becoming the Zen master of your own mind is sometimes easier said than done, however, having a calm mind is one of the most underrated superpowers there is. People with stress resistant minds know that high levels of anxiety and reactivity will not help them deal with tricky situations.

Trying to build a resilient mindset is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your mental peace. So, are you ready to know the habits of stress-resistant minds? Let’s get started.



Up Next

Mastering The Art Of Influence: How The Power Of Suggestion Can Shape Your Reality

How to use the power of suggestion: Tips

Have you ever experienced a situation where the power of suggestion influenced your thoughts, decisions, or actions? 

Perhaps a friend recommended a book, and you found yourself engrossed in its pages. Or maybe you were persuaded to try a new restaurant and ended up discovering your new favorite cuisine. These instances demonstrate how a simple suggestion can shape our perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors in ways we may not even realize. 

Letโ€™s explore what is the power of suggestion, how it can impact our lives and how to use the power of suggestion. So, fasten your seatbelts as we embark on a journey to uncover the hidden potential within us all.

What is The Power of Suggestion?



Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs With Tunnel Vision: Are You Narrowing Your Focus?

Zodiac Signs With Tunnel Vision (Narrow Focus)

Feeling stuck and can’t seem to change? Here are 4 zodiac signs with tunnel vision. They get so focused on one idea or task that they forget about everything else.

Focusing is like looking through a tube, everything else around us gets blurry. It happens to our eyes and cameras too, this phenomenon is known as “tunnel vision“. Some people do this more than others when it comes to thoughts.

These four signs are like that. They’re so set in their ways that they can’t see other possibilities. So, without ado let’s take a look at the zodiac signs that suffer from tunnel vision and how they can overcome it.



Up Next

Trust And Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Trust And Commitment In A Relationship: Important Things

A thriving relationship is built on trust and commitment. Let’s delve into the elements that are vital for happiness and security in your love life.

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Donโ€™t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each otherโ€™s hearts.

Each Lego is an interaction between romantic partners. The deciding factor of whether we open or protect our hearts is the quality of trust.

โ€œWithout trust, there can be no meaningful connection.โ€ โ€“ Brene Brown