3. Stay Calm
It’s difficult to make any rational decision when you’re emotionally charged.
Nothing gets resolved when you’re angry and frustrated. As hard as it may seem, you have to train yourself to stay calm.
Whenever I’m in conflict with someone, I take deep breaths and if necessary, I reschedule difficult conversations during a time when I feel more clear-headed. Do whatever you can to delay your response when you’re feeling mad.
Getting angry can make you lose control of your emotional intelligence and is not a good way to stand or speak up for yourself. Doing this might lower the way you’re seen by whoever you are communicating with and won’t make them listen to you or take you seriously.
4. Avoid Attacking The Other Person
You can’t take responsibility for how other people feel because you don’t know what’s going on with them personally.
Not everyone is going to agree with you and you’re not going to agree with everyone and that’s okay.
Unless you know you’ve done something wrong, you shouldn’t feel bad for being assertive. But whatever you do, do not attack the person you’re in conflict with.
A good way to communicate when someone’s being confrontational is to talk about how certain things made you feel. Use “I” instead of “you” in conversation.
For example, you can say “I feel disrespected when this happens” rather than saying “You’re disrespecting me.”
It’s a subtle shift in the way you communicate that can have a profound impact when you’re talking to someone.
5. Don’t be afraid to say “NO”
How much do you really need to justify, or explain yourself?
Isn’t it enough to simply say that since your backgrounds and life experiences are different, it’s only natural that you wouldn’t see eye-to-eye on certain things?
Rest assured that without your consent, nobody has the authority to invalidate you and what you believe in. Your thoughts and feelings belong to you alone and you don’t need to defend that against somebody else’s point of view.
For example, I really value my health. If someone asks me to do drugs, I have no problem turning down that offer because it’s not something that I see as important.
Say “no” to things that are not in alignment with your core values without feeling the need to explain yourself.
If you want to know how to stand up for yourself, here are my top tips:
- Establish your boundaries
- Get some perspective
- Stay calm
- Avoid attacking the other person
- Don’t be afraid to say no
Review these tips as often as you can and you’ll increase your self-confidence and also gain respect from other people.
I hope you’ve enjoyed learning this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing this for you.
If you would like me to help you succeed socially, click here and let’s connect.
Written by Myke Macapinlac
Originally appeared in Social Confidence Mastery
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