How often do you fight for other things or people? And how often do you fight for yourself? Standing up for yourself is a pretty tough skill that many of us need to adopt. It’s an assertive act wherein you know who you are and how you want others to treat you. You’re the only one who can set the tone for how people treat you.
If you’re tired of people walking all over you then you need to figure out how to stand up for yourself. Today, I want to share with you the exact same process that I’ve used to stop people-pleasing and command respect from others.
I know sometimes, it’s just easier to go with the flow to avoid any potential conflict. But if you let people treat you poorly, you’ll decrease your feelings of self-worth over time.
That’s why learning how to stand up for yourself without being rude is one of the best things that you can do to improve your self-image. Every time you speak up and go for what you want, you build your confidence and courage more and more.
That being said, here are 13 actionable tips that you can implement right away.
1. Stop Feeling Guilty
Most people who have been passive for so long feel uncomfortable asserting themselves. Because they’re afraid of hurting people’s feelings, they just willingly let things slide.
First of all, let’s get something clear here.
Being able to stand up for yourself isn’t about being aggressive or being a jerk. It’s about asking for what you want in a manner that still respects others.
That’s why you have to get comfortable with the idea of it because you’re not doing anything wrong.
Remind yourself that your needs are valid. You’re not a horrible person for asking for what you want. You have to stop feeling guilty especially when you know that whatever you’re requesting isn’t unreasonable.
If you’re tired of not getting what you want, start taking responsibility for yourself. Reclaim your power back and take charge of your own life.
2. Set Your Boundaries
If you’re wondering how to be assertive without being rude, you have to know yourself well. You have to decide what’s acceptable and not acceptable for you.
Take the time to clarify what your boundaries are.
If you haven’t already, I recommend you adopt a journaling practice. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be very therapeutic.
Not only that, you’ll have something tangible that you can refer to when defining your preferences. By knowing what you like and don’t like, it’ll be much easier for you to figure out how to stand up for yourself.
If you’re not sure what to start, what I want you to do is to pay attention to your emotions. Check-in with yourself and notice what sits well with you and what doesn’t. Typically, you feel good when you’re acting in alignment with what you want. Whenever you feel bad, that’s a good sign that there’s something off and you need to do something differently.
Again, instead of suppressing your emotions, let your feelings guide you as you set your boundaries.
3. Validate Yourself
From what I’ve noticed, most people who don’t know how to stop people-pleasing don’t feel good enough on their own. They seek validation from others instead of giving it to themselves.
If you’re wondering how to stand up for yourself, you need to affirm your worth. One of the best ways to do this is to notice how you talk to yourself.
Are you being mean and discouraging or are you being loving and compassionate?
By talking to yourself in a more positive way, you’ll gain the confidence to speak up. As a result, you won’t put up with bullshit from others as well. Unless you do this, you will always attract abusive people into your life.
Remember, the way you treat yourself will set the tone for how others treat you as well.