10 Signs Someone Is Just Not Into You


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signs someone is just not into you

So you really like this person. You think they’re perfect. You can feel the electricity every time you’re with them. But there’s an itch at the back of your mind…. something feels off. You are getting mixed signals and it is difficult to read your crush. Maybe they’re not as interested in you as you’re in them.

Are They NOT Into You?

Wondering whether someone likes you the way you like them can be really stressful and frustrating. Studies show that anticipated or imagined interpersonal rejection can lead to sadness, anger, anxiety, embarrassment, jealousy, shame, guilt, and loneliness.

Being hung up on someone and repeatedly asking yourself if they’re into you or not can seriously mess with your thoughts and emotions. You keep making millions of scenarios in your mind and ask thousands of questions, but in the end, you’re left confused and in doubt.

You want to know if they’re attracted to you but you don’t want to seem too desperate. So you start looking for clues, hints, and signs that can help you solve this nerve-wracking, sleep-stealing dilemma.

Although some signs can be too subtle, there are certain red flags and warning signs that can help you figure out if they are as invested in you as you are in them. Learning to spot these signs early on can prevent you from wasting your time and save you from heartbreak.

Related: 10 Biggest Signs He’s Just Not Into You

If you are in a relationship and you’re not sure if you’re just being insecure, or if your partner is just not into you anymore. In this article, we are going to look at some of the most common warning signs that someone is not that interested in you.

Now Let’s Take A Look At 10 Signs Someone Is Just Not That Into You:

1. They barely contact you

Do you feel you reach out to them more often than they do? When your crush is not interested in you, they will rarely call or text you. In fact, they may return your calls or texts after days and may not even make a big deal about it.

One 2016 study has found that the quality of communication between partners is closely associated with relationship satisfaction. So if they’re distant and not initiating the conversation, then it is a BIG sign that they are not into you.

2. They don’t want to know about you

Relationships bloom when we understand our partners by knowing every little detail about them. But when someone is not invested in you they may not be curious about you.

They don’t care about knowing you better, they don’t want to meet your family or friends or ask about how your day was. If they are not interested in learning about your childhood, dreams, goals, and ambitions, they’re probably not that into you.

3. They don’t open up to you emotionally 

Your crush barely shares any personal and intimate details about their life with you. Although some people tend to be reserved and private, studies show that self-disclosure and secret-sharing among couples can strengthen relationships.

But if your date is being superficial, refuses to be emotionally vulnerable, or talk about their life, then something is definitely off.

4. They’re always canceling plans

Are you the one who is always making the plan and they are the ones canceling them? When someone is not into you, they don’t really want to spend any time with you. So when you make plans or ask them out, they make up excuses and cancel repeatedly at the last minute.

And they may not even feel guilty about letting you down day after day. When we like someone, we make time for them no matter how busy our schedule may be. But if you are always forcing them to spend time with you, then that is a serious red flag.

5. You haven’t met his family or friends

If you are seeing your special person for some time and are yet to meet his family and friends, then you need to take notice as you’re not important to them. When someone is not interested or does not see any future with you, they will avoid introducing you to their loved ones.

Studies have found that family, friends, and peers play a crucial role in romantic partners’ relationships and cohabitation. So if they make efforts to keep you away from their family and friends, you need to stop wasting your time and move on cause they are not serious about you.

6. They flirt with others

For some reason or the other, you can feel that they flirt with others using the same charm and confidence they used to woo you. You have noticed them being flirty with others but they tend to be reserved when talking to you.

Research shows that needy individuals with insecure attachment styles often need validation from others and that may keep them from committing to one relationship. If this describes your crush, then they are surely not the one.

7. They are not emotionally connected to you

Does it seem they don’t care about you? Are you unable to rely on them when you need them the most? Research shows that most women break up due to a lack of emotional accessibility in relationships.

Studies also reveal that emotional availability is associated with secure attachment and emotion regulation which lead to a successful relationship. But if your relationship lacks emotional connection even when you are crazy about them, then it may be time to let them go.

Related: 9 Signs You’re Not In Love With Your Partner

8. They don’t give you any special treatment

If your date behaves normally with you and does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated, then it’s evident that they are not that into you. When they don’t take steps to woo you, make innumerable gestures to show their love, and act a little silly to impress you, then you know they’re not serious.

Treating you like everyone else is a sign that they see you more as a friend, an associate, or worse… as a backup plan to avoid loneliness. But this may also mean that you’re in the friendzone and you need to put in some effort to earn that special treatment.

9. They’re never jealous

They don’t show even the slightest hint of jealousy when it comes to your relationships with other people. Although you don’t want a possessive partner, a little bit of jealousy is healthy for romantic relationships.

Studies have found love and jealousy are positively associated. However, if your date doesn’t react or pay attention when you talk or even flirt with others, it is a glaring sign that they couldn’t care less.

10. You have a gut feeling

Regardless of how much you may like them, you just know it in your heart that they are not the ones. Studies show that intuition can often lead to insight. So if your instincts are telling you that this person is not right for you and there is no future, then you should take notice. Pause, relax and breathe.

This will help you become more aware of the warning signs that they are not that into you. Instead of clinging to a one-sided relationship, stop consoling yourself and be brave enough to move on.

But that’s not all. 

There May Be Many Other Subtle Signs That Your Date May Not Be Interested In You, Such As –

  • The are secretive and distant
  • They hear you but never actively listen to you
  • They don’t accept you as you are and try to change you
  • They never pursue you and ignore your pursuits
  • They talk about their ex a lot
  • They barely manage to fit you into their busy schedule
  • They avoid you
  • They breadcrumb you or lead you on and then ghost you
  • They are always late on dates and appear bored 
  • They give you mixed signals
  • They are not reliable 
  • They barely make eye contact with you
  • They don’t allow you access to their phone
  • They never give you special attention and appear distracted around you
  • They spend time with you only when it’s convenient for them
  • They barely show any affection towards you
  • They don’t hold your hand in public
  • They are not looking for a relationship
  • The relationship is more about their physical needs than your emotional needs
  • They never talk about the future of the relationship

What Should You Do If Your Crush Isn’t That Into You?

If you can relate to most of these signs and your gut feeling is giving you hints that it’s not going to work, the best thing you can do is walk away with your dignity and stop pursuing them.

Let them go and move away from this one-sided relationship. Do not chase them as it will affect your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. You deserve someone who is crazy and passionate about you. Someone who’s very much into you.

So focus on yourself, save yourself from the pain and heartache, and have faith that you will meet the one eventually.

How many of these signs can you identify within your relationship? Let us know about your experiences in the comments section below.

The studies and references used for the article are mentioned in the descriptions below.


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