10 Warning Signs Of Abandonment Issues In Adults And How To Heal From The Pain


Warning Signs Of Abandonment Issues In Adults

Imagine you are sitting in a bustling coffee shop surrounded by lively conversations, and laughter filling the air. There’s a group of people that catches your eye. They seem to radiate an invisible energy, an unspoken longing for reassurance and connection. Welcome to the world of adults struggling with abandonment issues. Today, we are going to talk about the signs of abandonment issues in adults.

We’ve all heard the phrase “abandonment issues” tossed around, but what does it really mean for grown-ups? They are actually the hidden battles that play out beneath the surface, and which end up shaping your emotions, relationships and self-perception.

Let’s explore some of the biggest signs of abandonment issues in adults, and how the fear of abandonment influences their lives.

Related: Understanding The Fear Of Abandonment And Object Constancy

What Is Fear Of Abandonment?

Fear of abandonment is like a shadow that follows you, lurking in the corners of your mind. It’s that nagging feeling that you will be left behind, forgotten or rejected. Generally, this deep-seated fear can stem from past experiences or insecurities, and it can have a long-term impact on your emotional well-being and personal relationships.

For example, you’ve experienced the pain of being left behind before, whether it was a childhood friend who suddenly stopped talking to you or a romantic partner who walked away without any explanation.

Now, the fear of abandonment lingers like an unwelcome guest, sabotaging all your potential relationships and causing you to put up emotional walls, so that no one can ever hurt you again.

Signs of abandonment issues in adults

10 Signs Of Abandonment Issues In Adults: Are You One Of Them?

1. You have major trust issues.

One of the most obvious signs of abandonment issues in adults is this. Often, feelings of abandonment stem from having a lack of trust in others. This may manifest as forming unhealthy emotional attachments that can affect your ability to give or receive trust.

You might either set unrealistically high expectations for others’ loyalty or choose to distance yourself entirely from relationships to avoid potential let-downs. In really severe scenarios, you may even choose to completely isolate yourself.

2. You have a hard time accepting rejection.

This is more than just not being able to digest rejection and denial. If you have a fear of abandonment, you might refuse to accept continued rejections and put undue pressure on your partner to not leave you.

Even if you know that the relationship is not working out, you might still choose to drag it just because you don’t want another failed relationship and don’t want to be alone. Preventing someone from leaving a relationship they are not happy in, is not just wrong, but can also be considered as abusive.

3. You get attached too quickly.

You may find yourself rushing into a committed relationship immediately after meeting someone new, moving too fast from the first date and declaring it an official relationship, without even asking your partner.

You have a tendency of rushing into relationships because you are petrified of losing them. There’s a fear within you that what if they find someone else, someone better than you.

You don’t want to have regrets about letting “the one that got away” slip through your fingers. Your abandonment issues cause you to hold onto them tight, even if they are not ready to be in a serious relationship.

Related: 18 Signs Of Abandonment Trauma You Might Relate To And How To Thrive Again

4. You feel unworthy of love, even though you constantly crave it.

One of the biggest signs of abandonment issues is that you constantly feel like you don’t deserve to be loved, and there is this sense of loss that always haunts you.

When someone you love leaves you, it often feels like you won’t find that kind of love again. If you do find love it might feel too good to be true, which makes you fearful and hard to accept if those feelings are real.

You may start believing that you don’t deserve their love and unintentionally push them away to seek affection from others.

5. You struggle with insecurity and uncertainty.

Doubting yourself and feeling unworthy are common signs of abandonment issues in adults. You often feel under-confident and search for validation from others.

There are times when you feel vulnerable and exposed even when you are surrounded by people who are actually very supportive of you. The fear of being abandoned again can make it hard for you to trust others, and even trusting your own instincts feel like a massive challenge.

Signs of abandonment issues in adults

6. You are a people pleaser and you just can’t seem to help it.

You always try to make others happy, especially in your relationships, and even at the cost of your own happiness. This often results in weak personal boundaries and a tendency to agree with everything your partner suggests.

You prioritize their happiness over your own. You worry that not meeting their needs could push them away. Soon, you might start feeling resentful for constantly putting their needs first.

This resentment can lead you to believe that the relationship was always doomed to fail.

7. You constantly imagine your partner leaving you.

Being apart creates a mental space where the fear of abandonment amplifies. You constantly fear that your partner is going to leave you for someone else, and you will be left alone again, picking up the pieces.

Your mind starts to tell you that your partner is planning to break up with you, and this leads to a lot of emotional distress. These intense thoughts make your body believe they are real, leading to severe bouts of anxiety and depression.

Related: 8 Things Love Addicts Do To Control Their Partner From Leaving Them

8. You can be very controlling.

Your attempt to manage your insecurities sometimes goes in the wrong direction; you become really controlling of everything that your partner does, so that they don’t leave you hanging.

Your abandonment issues might come from your past, when many situations were beyond your control, and you felt helpless. This led you to try managing every aspect of your life and relationships in hopes of avoiding past pains.

The fear of unpredictability makes it difficult for you to let things happen naturally and go with the flow. This sort of a controlling behavior makes your partner feel suffocated and trapped, since they don’t have the freedom to make their own decisions.

9. You have a lot of bottled up anger.

One of the most subtle signs of abandonment issues in adults, is that you might have a lot of pent-up anger within you, and you might not even realize it. This anger shows up in unexpected ways.

You might react strongly to minor inconveniences or feel resentment towards your partner without any clear reasons. And even if you have tried to understand the reasons behind feeling like this, it often proves difficult. This has always worked against you and your relationship.

10. You settle or choose to remain in unhealthy relationships, despite knowing so.

One of the glaring signs of abandonment issues is this.

You may choose to stay in a relationship that deep down you know very well is toxic, unhealthy and harmful, rather than be single; the only thing you associate with being single is being lonely, which is really not what singlehood is all about.

Chances are you know that you deserve better or that your partner is abusive and toxic, but you still choose to be with them. Even if they cheat on you and treat you unkindly, you will find it hard to let go of them.

Now that we have talked about the signs of abandonment issues in adults, let’s talk about how to deal with abandonment issues.

Related: Do You Have Abandonment Issues? 20 Telltale Signs And Coping Tips

How To Deal With Abandonment Issues?

  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings surrounding your fear of abandonment, with the aim of exploring them in depth. This will help give you clarity and understanding.
  • Mindfulness meditation: Mindfulness meditation techniques can help you stay grounded in the present moment, which then helps to reduce feelings of anxiety that stem from abandonment issues.
  • Inner child work: Connect with your inner child through therapy or visualization techniques to nurture self-love and heal past wounds.
  • Art therapy: Try to express your feelings through creative hobbies like drawing, painting or sculpting. This provides you with a non-verbal way to process your fear of abandonment.
  • Affirmations: How to deal with abandonment issues? Repeat positive affirmations daily to reinforce feelings of self-worth and security, which also counters negative beliefs about yourself.
  • Role-playing: Enlist the help of a trusted friend or therapist to role-play scenarios that trigger abandonment issues, and in the process, helps you be more assertive and also provides you with healthy coping strategies.
  • Group therapy or support groups: Sit with people who also struggle with abandonment issues, offering mutual support, coping strategies and understanding.
  • Experiential therapy: You can try out interesting activities, such as equine therapy, ropes course and wilderness expeditions to feel more confident and emotionally resilient.
  • Cognitive restructuring: If you’re wondering how to deal with abandonment issues, then try this. This technique can help you challenge distorted thoughts and beliefs about abandonment through cognitive-behavioral techniques, and replace them them with more positive and realistic perspectives.
  • Energy work: Explore modalities like acupuncture or Reiki, to balance your energy flow and address emotional blockages related to signs of abandonment issues.
Signs of abandonment issues in adults and how to deal


Dealing with the fear of abandonment can take a massive emotional and mental toll on you. Constantly feeling fearful of rejection and loneliness can gradually turn you into a bitter and resentful person.

The strategies mentioned above can indeed help you a lot, if you are struggling to understand how to deal with abandonment issues. Even if you try a few of these out, I hope you feel better equipped to deal with these difficult emotions.

Related: Self-Abandonment: 3 Ways You Are Abandoning Yourself

Do you relate to any of these signs of abandonment issues in adults? Do let us know in the comments down below!

how to deal with abandonment issues

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

How To Overcome Daily Acute Anxiety: 5 Practical Tools for Immediate Stress Relief

How To Overcome Daily Acute Anxiety: Practical Tools

The modern day life is a fast paced whirlwind that throws numerous things at us at every corner. In such situations it is not uncommon to experience acute anxiety on a daily basis. We are constantly challenged by looming deadlines, towering lists of work at home and many such things which can act as triggers for anxiety.

However there are coping strategies that you can use for anxiety management at times like these.

Related: The Power Of Art Therapy For Anxiety Management : 6 Techniques That Bring Relief


Up Next

Do You Have Anxiety Or Something Else? 9 Health Conditions That Are Similar To Anxiety

Health Conditions That Are Similar To Anxiety

Do you constantly feel on edge, tense, or worried? Maybe you experience a racing heartbeat, sweating, or shakiness that you just can’t seem to shake. If this sounds all too familiar, you may be dealing with anxiety. But did you know there are several other health conditions that are similar to anxiety?

Let’s dive into 9 different health issues that can feel a lot like anxiety. From hormonal imbalances to electrolyte issues, these conditions can easily be mistaken for an anxiety disorder as they often have the same symptoms of anxiety.

Knowing the differences between anxiety and these look-alike conditions is key to getting the right treatment and feeling better. Let’

Up Next

Eggshell Parenting Meaning: 5 Signs You’re Making These Mistakes!

Eggshell Parenting: Signs You're Making These Mistakes!

Parenting is one of the most sincere tasks in every individual’s life that should be done with utmost care and coherence. However, the relationship between parents and their children is often tampered by the mental, and behavioral issues of the parents.

Thus, mood disorders and the violent nature of parents can affect the child’s life. Eggshell parenting is one such consequence. In this blog, we will guide you to understand eggshell parenting and show you the risky spots you should avoid.

What is Eggshell Parenting?  

Up Next

How To Become Less Anxious: 9 Tips To Deal With Anxiety

How To Become Less Anxious: Tips To Deal With Anxiety

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed, trapped in the clutches of anxiety? Do you want a life filled with tranquility? If so, let’s find out how to become less anxious.

What Exactly Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a universal human emotion that can manifest as a persistent and overwhelming feeling of fear, worry, or unease. 

However, it’s important to recognize that anxiety is a normal part of life and most people experience it occasionally. When anxiety becomes persistent, excessive and a constant companion, hindering our daily activities and o

Up Next

5 Identifying Signs Of Destination Anxiety: Know Before You Go

Signs of Destination Anxiety: Know Before You Go

Have you ever experienced that unsettling feeling before going on a trip? The mix of excitement and apprehension that seems to linger in the pit of your stomach? If so, you might have encountered destination anxiety. Let’s explore the signs of destination anxiety.

Whether you’re planning a dream vacation, a business trip, or even a simple weekend getaway, destination anxiety can cast a shadow over your travel experience. Let’s explore the signs, causes, types, and impact of destination anxiety, offering insights and tips to help you navigate this emotional journey with ease.

What is Destination Anxiety?


Up Next

“Why Do I Hate Talking On The Phone?”: 7 Signs You Might Be Dealing With Phone Anxiety

Why Do I Hate Talking On The Phone? Signs Of Phone Anxiety

Do you ever find yourself rolling your eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh when your phone starts ringing or buzzing? Do you feel dread at the mere thought of having to make or receive a phone call and try to find out how to avoid talking on the phone? If you’ve ever said these words to yourself, “Why do I hate talking on the phone?” with frustration, you’re not alone.

There are many people out there who feel the same as you, and hate talking on the phone. And it turns out, there’s a very valid reason behind feeling this way, and that’s phone anxiety.

Today, we are going to talk about phone anxiety and the signs you hate talking on the phone, so that the frequency of you asking “why do I hate talking on the phone” lessens. So, are you ready to know more about this? Let’s get started, then.

Up Next

Psychological Freedom: Does Freedom To Choose Cause Anxiety?

Psychological Freedom: Does Freedom To Choose Cause Anxiety?

Having psychological freedom is a very very, important aspect of life. But what is psychological freedom and why is it so important? This article is going to talk about what psychological freedom entails.


The freedom to choose brings meaning to our lives and boosts well-being, but it can also generate anxiety.

Sometimes people respond in self-sabotaging ways: trying to control others, blindly accepting suffering, or automatically conforming.

True freedom requires great courage, a kind of leap of faith.

Freedom, as described by the German social psychologist