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How To Spot A Frenemy: 9 Signs Of A Fake Friend

Signs Of A Fake Friend

Is your BFF your “Best Fake Friend”? Do you feel your BFF is jealous of you? Do you wonder if you can truly trust them? Here are some undeniable signs of a fake friend.

Friendships are special. Friends lift us up when we are down, make our lives worth celebrating, and take us on the craziest adventures. But not all friends are who they pretend to be. Fake friends are like venomous snakes who will never think twice before striking you hard to serve their own selfish purposes.

What is a fake friend?

signs of a fake friend

A fake friend is someone who doesn’t really care about you but pretends to be your brother or sister from another mother. They fake their personalities, their emotions, their likes & dislikes, and even their authenticity. 

They’re friends with you because of their own egocentric reasons – to gain something from you – something that you have but they don’t. They will stick with you like a shadow in your good times but will instantly disappear when you truly need them.

False friendships are even worse than frenemies. At least with a frenemy, you are aware of their toxic intentions. But a fake friend will slither their way into your life, manipulate you for their own selfish gains and leave you in your darkest hours.

This is why it is important that you know the signs of a fake friend to protect yourself, cut them off and invest in true friendships instead.

So what are some fake friends signs? In this article, we are going to look at some of the most common warning signs of a fake friend who can do more harm than good.

Related: The Science Of Friendship

Now let’s take a look at the top 9 signs you have fake friends:

1. They are highly selfish

They become friends with you because they want something from you. They don’t care about you, your friendship or your well-being. All they care about is what they can gain from you. Although they may pretend to be nice at times, they will use it either for their own benefit or to make demands in future.

They will emotionally blackmail you or tell you some sob story to manipulate you into supporting them. And when something won’t serve their purpose, they will simply be disinterested or even make excuses to avoid you.

Friendships thrive on give and take. Fake friends are like parasites who only know how to take from you and leave you high and dry when you are empty. It’s not worth sticking around with these kinds of people.

2. They thrive on gossip and drama

Welcome to ‘Fake Friend Avenue’ where the traffic is always high on gossip, scandals, drama and controversy. Fake friends simply can’t survive without gossip. And this is one of the most common signs of a fake friend. It’s like their daily dose of morning coffee. Bitching about others is like their protein shake garnished with a healthy dose of scandals.

But most of all they love creating drama. And when this drama is in short supply, they will deliberately cause it and revel in it, even if it may hurt you or others close to you. The fact is, this is a form of bullying that will leave you feeling emotionally drained. You don’t need this kind of negativity in your life.

3. They are exceptionally manipulative

Why would someone be a fake friend? Why would someone put in the effort to pretend to be something they are not? So that they can manipulate you and others to feel a fake sense of power in their already empty lives. Fake friends act all nice and sweet when they need you but will immediately ignore you once their objective is fulfilled. You are better off alone than being with such fake BFFs.

Read 15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People

4. They use you

They will always take advantage of you but will never be afraid of losing you. They will give you a lot of attention and spend a lot of time with you when you are of some use to them. But when they feel you are of no use, they will not only avoid you, but also be rude and harsh with you.

They always have some angle, either to ask for a favor, or to loan some cash or to get a job at your workplace. They will never shy away from milking you to feed themselves. They are not interested in your friendship or you, just what you have to offer. So make sure to avoid these leeches like the plague. This is one of the most toxic signs of a fake friend.

5. They talk smack about you

Toxic friends with toxic tongues can only spew venom. And that venom can often be deadly. A fake friend will never hesitate to talk trash about you behind your back just to score some brownie points with other fake friends. Like a moth to a flame, fake people are attracted to drama and they want to be the star of the show.

So when you are not around, they will make up stories about you, exaggerate things you told them and spill all your secrets. Why? Just to boost their feeble ego and self-esteem. They thrive in negativity and will caw out nonsense to everyone like an annoying crow that no one likes.

A true friend will always have your back even when you’re not present. Fake friends, however, play mind games with lies and fabricated stories. Spot these signs of a fake friend and cut them out of your life before it’s too late.

6. They are jealous of you

Green is probably the favorite color of your fake BFF as they are always so envious of you. They are jealous of your hard work, your accomplishments, your relationships, your appearance, and perhaps your very existence. They make poor attempts at giving you fake compliments in a desperate attempt to hide their jealousy.

But as they are possessed by the green-eyed monster of envy, they’re resentful of everything you have or achieve. And their jealousy further feeds their need for constant drama.

Fake friends never feel happy for you. They want to compete with you and to see you fall. They want what you have even if you want the best for them. You surely don’t want to hang out with a monster, now do you?

Related: I Have No Friends: 10 Reasons You Are Friendless (And What To Do About It)

They are jealous of you

7. They judge and criticize you

Are you tired of hearing “I told you so” or something along those lines from your BFF? That’s the thing about fake friends. Instead of being supportive, fake friends judge your decisions and mistakes and jump in to criticise you at every opportunity. No, it’s not about helping you make better decisions or learn life lessons, they do this simply to feel superior to you.

They are not the type of people who listen to your problems or give you valuable advice. They are the type of people who tell you what to do as they feel they know what’s best. They pretend to be your savior, but they simply set you up for further disappointments and failures. Watch out for criticisms as this is one of the basic signs of a fake friend.

They may sugar-coat their words as “well-intended”, but they will make sure to put you down, break your confidence and eat your self-esteem away. Why? Because fake friends are bullies. And you know what we do with bullies.

8. They choose others over you

Unless they need you, they will never be available to hang out with you. That’s how you identify a false friend. They will always prefer to be with others. Even when you are in a group or social gathering, they would rather talk to others than you.

Despite how many times they tell how great friends you are, you will always be disposable to them. As they care so much about your dignity and self-esteem, they will simply keep you around as another spare part to be used when needed.

9. They aren’t trustworthy

Trust is one of the core foundations of any friendship. But when it comes to a fake friend, you can never fully trust them. They are manipulative, shifty and pathological liars who can make up unrealistic stories for their own personal gains. Lying is like breathing and exaggerating things is like drinking water to them.

Not only do they lie to you, they spread lies about you. They lie to get your sympathy and to make you their emotional puppet. All of us lie at times, but fake friends lie like their lives depend on it. Pathological lying is one of the most common signs of a fake friend.

And if you ever make the mistake of trusting them, they will let you down and disappoint you big time. Fake friends are nothing but a liability. So cut your losses.

These are the signs you are dealing with a fake friend.

Now that you know how to spot a fake friend, protect yourself from these toxic parasites and make some new friends who you can trust. Fake friends make us feel miserable and seriously affect our mental and emotional health.

They drain our energy, time, money and feelings leaving us feeling empty and broken-hearted. This is why it is important that you learn how to spot the signs of a fake friend disguised as a BFF and protect yourself from their toxicity.

Although a genuine and true friend can be hard to find, it will be worth it as real friendships often last a lifetime and help us reach our full potential.

Related: 7 Reasons To Cherish Your Blunt Friend

Do you have any fake friends in your life?

We would love to know about your thoughts and experiences regarding fake friends and how to deal with them. So feel free to share your opinions below.


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Theo Harrison

Hey there! I am just someone trying to find my way through life. I am a reader, writer, traveler, fighter, philosopher, artist and all around nice guy. I am outdoor person but heavily into technology, science, psychology, spiritualism, Buddhism, martial arts and horror films. I believe in positive action more than positive thinking.View Author posts

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