How to cope with it?
Evaluate whether your marriage has the potential to give you what you want.
First and most importantly, you need to know exactly what you want from this marriage. Do you want love, intimacy or both? Do you want financial freedom or power? Sharing the same direction and values makes it easier to work together on your marriage.
Since you and your partner are not even friends in this scenario, I recommend you make two lists using the power of logic:
List 1 – pros of staying in this marriage
List 2 – cons of staying in this marriage.
When there are more pros than cons, you can stay in this marriage because there is something worth fighting for. But when there are more cons than pros, you no longer love your partner and don’t feel inclined toward working together to resolve your differences, leaving may be the better option.
You really need to weigh up those pros and cons because there are huge emotional and financial costs involved in ending a marriage, especially when children are involved.
Please note that not every marriage is meant to last forever. When you end a marriage, it doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage has failed. Honestly, your marriage has probably helped you in tremendous ways when you think about it.
For instance, when Anna and Ben got married, it was right for them at that time. They moved to the city together and started their new careers there. But as time went by, both Anna and Ben evolved and became different people. Their interests dramatically changed as they were growing into different directions. It doesn’t mean something must be wrong with them. It just means their marriage wasn’t right for them four years later.
Have a Shared Direction in Your Marriage
It’s important to have a shared direction in your marriage that you are both working toward.
When Cynthia and David got married, they didn’t have any conflict of interest. They actually had a very good time in the first two years of their marriage. They travelled the world together. But after David’s adult children from his first marriage became involved in his company, things became complicated in terms of finances. Consequently, ongoing conflicts of interest became an issue in their marriage.
In other words, everyone only did what they could with what they knew at that time. It was nobody’s fault.
When you marry your partner, love is real. When you divorce your partner, the absence of love is also real. Therefore, both decisions are right – both decisions are made according to the reality of specific circumstances.
There are three major signs of a loveless marriage, yet each problem has relevant solutions. It’s important to try your best and then make peace with the rest. Good luck!
Psychosexual Relationship Specialist at End the Problem, Jacqui Olliver is a published author who renews relationships by solving people’s emotional and sexual issues. In the past 7 years, she has helped over 1,000 men, women, and couples restore a relaxed, happy, and fulfilling sex life and enhance their overall connection. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session and start getting real answers to solve the real problems.
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