Many a time, too much sex pressure from males can permanently diffuse a female’s sex drive. “Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.” – Mignon McLaughlin
How Sex Pressure From Males Kills Female Desire
Sex in a committed relationship can be bed-shaking, neighbor-waking and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us stop wanting it?
It only takes one partner’s focus on an actual or anticipated sexual dysfunction to disconnect both during the act. It might even affect their desire in the future.
Can you relate to that?
Whether we’d like to admit it or not, the partner with the least desire for sex always controls the frequency and quality of sex.
Men who ejaculate in 1.9 seconds may even condition their romantic partners to become sexually inert and unenthusiastic, in response to their lack of sexual mastery.
Think back to your past relationships, or maybe even the one you’re in now—the partner with less sexual desire controls almost every element of your intimate activities.
In the case of a woman having less desire than her male partner, he may put pressure on her. As you can imagine, this sex pressure causes major dysfunction in the relationship, including reducing her sexual desire even more.
Here’s how sex pressure from men can kill a woman’s sexual desire.
Let’s look at a stereotypical relationship.
Meet James and Marie.
James wants sex three times a week, but Marie prefers sex every 10 days. This indifference typically causes five basic problems.
These five problems, like an avalanche, can bury the erotic desire in a committed relationship:
1) The woman was more sexually active before the relationship.
Despite marriage offering emotional security, the increasing value of one’s partner can challenge sexual desire.
Unfortunately, the comfort of letting someone into your heart can turn couples into approval-seeking robots rather than erotically exploring partners.
As James pressures Marie to “spice up” sex, Marie loses the desire to even try. So James tries to make Marie want sex.
2) Trying to make women want sex.
As men, we have been culturally conditioned that being a “good lover” reinforces our masculinity in the same way a boy allegedly becomes a man when he “scores” sex for the first time.
This conditioning has taught James that his sense of self comes in part from his sex life.
As a result, he “needs” Marie to respond to his sexual advances in order to validate his masculinity.
When James was a bachelor, he measured his self-worth by how many women desired him and how aroused they became when they were with him.
Here is a valuable message all men need to hear about female sexual desire: Women don’t want a partner who uses sex to demonstrate prowess rather than cultivate intimacy.
As James struggled to understand Marie’s sexual disinterest, he blamed her gender training.
He told her she was sexually inadequate instead of confronting his own feelings of sexual inadequacy. His blame blinded him to the truth about himself.
So when Marie didn’t respond to his advances, he attacked her.
3) Blaming a woman’s sexual desire for a lack of sex.
As James blames the lack of sex on Marie’s low desire, Marie is less inclined to open up her erotic book.
Never has blaming someone for not having the capacity to be sexually ever motivated someone to be more sexual.
As James attempts to make Marie want sex (and him), she wants it less.
James’s accusations have forced her into a sexually defeated corner.
There was no way for Marie to gain sexual “status” by increasing her sexual desire because any success would validate that James was right.
Not to mention, James acts as if hurting Marie’s feelings will make her more likely to have sex with him.