Is your marriage going through a troubled time? Do you know that secrets to having a strong, stable and successful marriage?
My job as a family law attorney brings me in close connection with married people who have made the difficult decision to file a divorce. Working with so many clients belonging to varied age groups and backgrounds for years, I have ceased to be surprised when people reveal to me the reasons for divorce. I can say I have heard of all sorts of reasons that can lead to a separation.
Over the years I have realized —
Marriage is hardly the conclusion; it is the point where real work begins.
Listening to people who no longer want anything to do with the person they once loved, is in a way heartbreaking. Their stories have revealed to me how and why people come to this stage. Studying each of their cases has opened my eyes to what makes a marriage successful, what strengthens it, and what leads to its failure.
Here Are 12 Things That Helps In Developing A Successful Marriage
1. Realize that marriage needs your true efforts.
Enter your marriage with the solemn resolve that as a couple you will direct your collective efforts toward being in the wedlock. You haven’t achieved everything after you marry each other. It is just one of the landmarks in your relationship. You have miles to walk together and your journey won’t be easy.
There would be difficulties and disagreements. So, when you see them taking shape, don’t ignore them, rather neutralize them before they become a threat.
Don’t wait for an occasion to make your spouse feel special. Remember the little things that fascinated you. Celebrate those things and appreciate them. Just because your spouse is part of your life, don’t ever take them for granted. Just because you know in and out of their personality don’t let familiarity invite contempt.
Want to know more about how you can have a strong marriage? Read 30 Pieces Of Marriage Advice From People Married For Over 30 Years
2. Your partner will not be a changed person.
Most people knew the issues that led to the breakdown of their marriage. They were aware of the behavioral flaws of their partner, or the fact that they were not able to connect with them on several levels. Almost 95% of them believed, after marriage, their partner would change.
Marriage won’t change anything. With time you will grow to dislike those little imperfections more intensely. Ask yourself, if you can accept the person with their shortcomings and live with them 24×7 before you take the plunge.
3. Contemplate the consequences of signing a prenuptial agreement.
Most lawyers advise their clients to sign a prenup to ensure their financial security in case of annulment of the marriage. But, if you feel the need to sign a prenup, you are already not sure if things are going to work.
A prenup is meant to allow you an exit, but a marriage is a lifelong commitment. If you are not sure you will be able to be with this person through the ups and downs, you are really not ready to get married to them. It would be better to wait for the person with whom you would want to enter into a permanent bond.
4. Select a partner who has similar financial views.
One of the common differences that lead to divorce is financial issues. People have different opinions about how they manage their finances. They don’t care to reconcile the differences before marriage. In the starting days, they are in too much love to take notice of the small disconnects.
The differences are ignored until the lack of unanimity becomes acute and cannot be overlooked anymore. As they have never taught themselves to address the issue, the financial difficulties further curbed their ability to communicate and resolve the problem.