Falling in love is a wonderful experience, maybe you’ve met someone or someone you knew for a long time, someone you think might be the one for you. Whatever is there, building a relationship and maintaining the same is not a cakewalk. Here are some things you need to know about falling in love. We want you to be prepared.
I received this question from a handful of people this past week and figured I’d post my answer publicly.
“I’m really starting to fall for someone… and it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship. Is there anything I should be watching out for? Common traps that people fall into, etc.?”
There’s nothing like the exhilarating rush of new love. Your brain is being flooded with huge hits of happy chemicals and it can feel like you’re high around the clock.
What are they doing?
Are they thinking of me right now?
Whatever they’re doing, I hope they’re happy.
What would we fight about in the long term?
Am I already being too clingy?
How do our names sound together?
Should I not have texted them that thing yesterday?
Where would our ideal vacation be?
Do they like the same hobbies as me?
Our minds are run rampant doing mental gymnastics about our new love interest.
To help you keep your feet (somewhat) grounded during this new and exciting phase, here are three things to remember when you’re falling in love with someone new.
1. You’re Allowed To Be Excited
Yes, you are going to be distracted as thoughts of them race through your mind… and that’s totally fine.
Going into a new relationship is an exciting transitional period. You’re allowed to be happy/giddy/distracted/joyful about it.
Instead of resisting it or trying to rationalize it, embrace it. Let the excitement run its course through your body. Every emotion you experience is there for a reason, and this blast of excitement is likely there to teach you that “This one matters. You care about this one. So lean into it.”
2. You’re Allowed To Feel Some Anxiety
Along with the rush of excitement that comes with a new love interest, you’re also likely to feel some combination of nerves and/or anxiety.
Opening up to a new partner can trigger a lot of fear, worries, and anxiety in people. Maybe you worry that they’re too good to be true, or that they won’t like you back. Love is a risk… it always is.
And just like the excitement we just touched on, you’re also allowed to embrace the anxiety. You can welcome it into your body and tell it “You have a home here. Thank you for looking out for me.” That’s not to say that you’ll necessarily want to let that emotion run your mind and all of your thoughts… but there’s no point in denying its existence in your body.