Skip to content

How To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma: 5 Effective Ways

How To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma

It may take a while to recover from domestic violence trauma and to reach a place of feeling at peace, here’s what you need to do. Below are five effective ways to recover from domestic abuse.

You turn to your friends and they tell you sweet things. They call you a survivor, they call you brave. Rationally, you know that they’re honest. You know that you’ve been through things so messed up that normal people can’t imagine them.

And yet… you still feel broken. Tired, and lost and worthless in the face of this new opportunity you got, the one you don’t always feel like you deserve.

Related: How Abusive Relationships Trap us Into Not Leaving

Your suffering has been overlooked, excused, and covered up for so long that you’re no longer sure what’s real and what isn’t, you don’t know how to function in normal conditions. But darling here’s something that you need to know – it’s okay to unravel.

Unless you're a survivor of emotional abuse
5 Effective Ways To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma

You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay even if you still cry yourself to sleep. Even if you can’t remember the last time you felt good, or confident, or beautiful. Although it’s only a small step to recovery, we’re here to offer some advice if you still feel lost and afraid.

How To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma: 5 Effective Ways

1. Ignore judgement

Well if it was abusive, why didn’t you just leave? I don’t see any bruises on you, are you sure you’re not just crying for attention? These girls today, they don’t want nice guys, they only want jerks that beat them and mistreat them. Men can’t be abused, you’re just weak. Any of these sound familiar?

People judge what they don’t know, and if they haven’t faced the trauma of domestic abuse themselves, it’s easy to point fingers. You will face some negativity, but you need to know that these people are not the majority, and even if they were, they aren’t right. Most of them are well-meaning but confused, and they will all have opinions that should in no way demean your experience.

Related: How Abusive Relationships Trap us Into Not Leaving

It can be very hard for mothers who leave their abusive husbands because they are perceived as bad parents who broke the family apart. Look, these people don’t know you, they haven’t been in your shoes, and they get no say. If they don’t want to be kind and understanding, then you have every right to ignore them.

2. Protect yourself

Domestic abuse isn’t limited only to physical violence, and it happens to more people than you can imagine. Chad takes the first place as the country with the highest rates of domestic violence, but it also happens in a lot more developed countries like the US and Australia. In Australia however, the violence against Indigenous women is 40% higher than against non-Indigenous women.

Protect yourself
Overcoming Domestic Abuse: 5 Effective Ways To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma

Related: 6 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Infatuated or in Love But is Obsessed and Emotionally Abusive

The point is, this is a common problem and a lot of people are working hard to fix it. You need to protect yourself, and to do that, you need to find survivor support groups, surround yourself with friends and family, and make sure you have a good attorney in case you are trying to divorce your abuser. Good family lawyers are easy to reach, but the rest of Australia has a lot of professionals as well.

Most countries in Europe and the US have their own systems in place, and you can find shelters if you have nowhere to go, or find a lawyer who does pro bono cases and see if they can take you on.

Recovering From Domestic Violence: 5 Effective Ways To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma

3. Change your coping strategies

If you’ve been suffering from the trauma of domestic abuse for a long time, it’s likely that your perception of what’s right and what’s wrong has changed. You are traumatized and scared, and your every sentence tends to begin or end with “I’m sorry.” You’ve learned how to be silent and unobtrusive, you’ve learned to never speak your mind, to submit.

Related: The Five Stages Of Grief: Exploring The Kübler-Ross Model

Anything just so you wouldn’t provoke the rage of your abuser. Your mind will need time to realize that abuse isn’t the default state of things, that the way you’ve been treated is unacceptable. Take small steps and start talking about what happened. And if you’re not ready for that, just start talking, about anything. Speak your mind, you no longer need to be silent.

Rediscover your dreams and passions and work on them. Learn about things you always wanted to learn and focus on healing.

4. Surround yourself with good people

Abusers seek to dominate over us whether through emotional manipulation, violence, or threats. They isolate us from our loved ones, from everyone who could have maybe been there for us. You need to reconnect with your family and friends, and bring good, kind people back into your life.

Related: Recovery From Abusive Relationships. How Long Does It Take?

They will provide support, and they can be a voice of reason in moments when you don’t know what to do. They can give you comfort when you feel weak and help keep your abuser as far away from you as possible.

5. Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself
Recovering From Domestic Abuse Trauma

The hardest step to take, and the most important one. Things that happened weren’t your fault. No matter how many times you burned the dinner, or forgot to do a chore, or said something silly. No one has any right to abuse you, and there is no excuse for what has been done to you.

Related: Understanding The 4 Stages Of Forgiveness

They told you that you aren’t worth it, that no one else will love you, that you’re stupid and wrong and useless, but they were talking about themselves. You are none of these things, and only impotent, mean, petty people could say something like that. You need to forgive yourself to move on, you need to learn how to love yourself and all that you are.

Every time you want to regress to that state of insecurity, remember that your life is back in your hands, they can’t hurt you anymore, and you are stronger than they could ever be.

You’ve made the right choice. You doubt that, but you’ve made the right choice. Life didn’t magically become easier, and it won’t for a while, but you’ve given yourself a chance to make it better. You are going to be okay.

So, ready to start the journey of recovery from the emotional trauma of domestic violence abuse? Leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to share the article with your friends.


Recovering from an Emotional Trauma of Domestic Abuse
Healing From Domestic Violence Trauma: 5 Effective Ways To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma
Recover Emotional Trauma of Domestic Abuse pin
How To Recover From Domestic Violence? Overcoming Domestic Violence Trauma
How To Recover From Domestic Violence Trauma pin

Tracey Clayton

Leave a Reply

Up Next

7 Signs You’ve Difficulty Accepting Love After Trauma

Signs Difficulty Accepting Love After Trauma

Accepting love after trauma is a feeling not a lot of people understand. You are often regarded as someone uptight and arrogant who is playing hard to get. But little do they know about the battle going on inside you where you are desperate to feel loved, but you are not being able to let go of your fear and trauma.

When you feel uncomfortable accepting love, it doesn't mean that you don't believe in it, it's just that you find it hard to believe that love is not supposed to hurt. Because of your traumatic experiences, you have come to associate love with pain, hurt and disappointment, and no matter how hard you try, you just can't bring yourself to see that real love is never supposed to hurt, it's supposed to make your heart feel full.

If you can relate to everything we spoke about till now, then let's know more about the signs you have a hard

Up Next

Can Childhood Rejection Trauma Lead To Possessive Behavior In Relationships?

Childhood Rejection Trauma Lead To Possessive Behavior

Children who experience childhood rejection trauma and dysfunction often struggle to learn boundaries and behaviors that seem easy for others.

Being rejected as children by parents or caregivers can have a profound effect on adulthood, and intimate relationships. Here’s the science behind possessive behavior in relationships. How our experience with rejection and abandonment is deeply entrenched in our insecurity as adults, and what drives these feelings of jealousy and possessiveness in relationships.

But before we get into it, let’s learn more about childhood rejection issues.

What Is Childhood Rejection Trauma?

Rejection is something that every individual experiences at some point in

Up Next

Inner Child Work: 5 Ways To Heal Deep-Rooted Trauma

Inner Child Work

No matter how big or small, we’ve all experienced some kind of trauma as children. These traumas can vary from having your favorite stuffed toy thrown in the trash, to being abandoned by your best childhood friend, to being physically or emotionally abused by your parents.

Inner child work is a vital component of the spiritual awakening journey because it reconnects us with a wounded element of ourselves: the child within.

When we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities, and sabotaging life patterns. This is where true healing and liberation happen!

I can almost guarantee that you’ll be shocked by what you discover through the process of

Up Next

6 Signs You’re In A Trauma Bond: What You Need To Know About The Trauma Bond And Healing

Signs Youre In Trauma Bond

When you’re healing from emotional abuse, it can be a little bit difficult to know where you stand. You can have good days, and then suddenly you’re rocked with a terrible day where you can’t stop thinking about the abusive person in your life. This is because recovery is never a straight line. And there’s also something called the trauma bond that’s a natural reaction to the abuse you’ve endured.

You may have heard of the trauma bond before. But we’re going to do a quick recap of what it is exactly (just in case you haven’t). And then we’re going to get into the six signs that you may still be in the trauma bond.

And then at the end, naturally, we’re going to talk about what to do if you are still in the trauma bond.

Up Next

10 Anxious Behaviors That Could Actually Be Trauma Responses

Anxious Behaviors That Could Actually Be Trauma Responses

Developing anxiety due to trauma is a normal response to the pain you suffer. Experiencing trauma can lead you to exhibit several anxious responses; read on to know more about these 10 anxious behaviors that are actually trauma responses.

Key Points:

Viewing anxious behaviors through a trauma-informed lens teaches us that there is usually a reason for them. Developing an understanding of our anxious behaviors can show us that there is nothing "wrong" with us. Learning not to take things personally can help us understand loved ones with the same traits. While having one or two of these behaviors is probably normal, if you find you can relate to most or all of them, they might point to anxiety.