5 Reasons You Might Be Holding On To A Toxic Relationship

reasons holding on toxic relationship

Interestingly, even the breaking up and getting back together gets routine. With my toxic relationship, I would break up with him and then, like clockwork, 8 weeks later he would reach out to me and before I knew it I was back where I started. I can’t tell you how many times that happened.

I have since learned that if you can get past that 8-week mark you can break a pattern. And I can promise you that you will find someone else to go to the movies with on Wednesdays. I did.

Related: 6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

4. Self-blame.

One of the most insidious things about toxic love is that, after a while, we start to blame ourselves for everything that is going wrong.

I have a client whose husband had a relationship with one of their employees. For three years my client has asked her husband to fire that woman and for three years he has promised to and hasn’t. She is beside herself and rightly so.

The thing is, her husband has done a remarkable job making her feel like their issues are HER fault. He says that if she could just let this go they could be happy. That she has no compassion for this other woman’s children – what would they do if their mother had no income? Because of his accusations, she truly questions her mental health some days.

Do you blame yourself for why your relationship is toxic? Do you believe that if you could just have been a little bit nicer or paid more attention to him or had sex with him when he wanted you to that everything would be just fine?

If yes, stop. Your person is making your life difficult and, while you might play a role in the situation, I can promise you that it’s NOT all your fault.

5. You are soulmates.

Do you believe that the relationship that you share with your person is like none other? That the intense passion and connection that you share can not compare with anyone else’s relationship and that letting it go would be such a waste?

Let me tell you, EVERYONE feels that way about their relationship. I hate to burst your bubble but, while the love you have for this person might be strong, it’s not the ultimate love in the world, and letting go of it will not be the end of love for you.

As a matter of fact, if you can let go of your toxic love then you are WAY more likely to find a connection that is real and wonderful and magic.

I did.

Holding on to a toxic relationship often happens because we fear the pain that we will feel if we let go.

But letting go of toxic love is very important for a happy life. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life living with someone who makes your life miserable more often than they make you happy?

Could you ever be happy if the rest of your life is the same as your life today?

Related: How Letting Go Of A Toxic Relationship Can Save Your Life

I know that, for me, finally getting out of my toxic relationship gave me the time, strength, and focus to build my business and my self-esteem. It made me understand that I could break patterns and not only survive but thrive. I learned that I was okay being alone and that while to me our love was special, really there is other, better love in this world.

So, what are you waiting for? Letting go of a toxic love is something that you can start doing right now!

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with holding on to a toxic relationship.

Let me help you, NOW, before it’s too late.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started.

Written By Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared In Let Your Dreams Begin
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5 Reasons You Might Be Holding On To A Toxic Relationship
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Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.View Author posts