Why Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body

Published on:

Why Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body 2

Do you have a narcissistic mother who vehemently hates your body, body shames you and makes you feel horrible about it all the time?

Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body, and Hereโ€™s Why

As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, you face countless assaults to your identity, integrity, and individuality. One of the most pernicious forms of assault plays out on the battlefield of your body.

Before we peer into the black hole that is your mother and her relationship to your body, letโ€™s review a few narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) basics. People with NPD violate boundaries, avoid self-reflection and accountability, and donโ€™t care if they hurt those around them. They think hierarchically, objectify others, value superficial markers of status, and compulsively project their own shame onto those close to them to manage their unstable self-esteem.

Do you have a narcissistic mother? Read 24 Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body

Your narcissistic mother really does hate your body, and hereโ€™s why: The simple answer is that she hates her own body and yours by extension.

In her myopic view, as her daughter, you simultaneously represent her and pose a threat to her; your body is a kaleidoscope of her distorted projections.

You exist as an extension of her and an object in relation to her, not as a subject with your own valid and complex identity, traits, feelings, needs, preferences, and boundaries. Whether you function as a source of pride, embarrassment, or competition, your body is not your own but rather hers to control, judge, display, reject, or otherwise exploit, neglect, and abuse.

Remember also that your narcissistic mother will tell you, others, and herself that she wants the best for you. This is because she canโ€™t bear to be seen or to see herself as anything less than a devoted and loving mother, and she expects you to mirror that back for her regardless of how true it feels to you.

If she attempts to control your eating habits, hairstyle, or clothing choices, she will always tell you explicitly or implicitly that it is for your own good, even if it involves violations such as the following:

1. Sizing you up visually or verbally

2. Comparing your appearance to that of herself, siblings, or others

3. Calling you names

4. Fat-shaming you

5. Shaming you about your skin or hair color

6. Overfeeding or underfeeding you

7. Dictating your diet

8. Cutting or styling your hair unattractively or age-inappropriately

9. Discussing your looks or weight with others

10. Commenting on your eating habits

11. Blaming you for your health problems

12. Pushing you to get plastic surgery

13. Pushing you to straighten or dye your hair

14. Giving you clothes too big, too small, or otherwise inappropriate

15. Neglecting to buy your clothes

16. Neglecting your personal hygiene needs

17. Shaming you for your personal hygiene

18. Objectifying you as a sexual object for boys or men

19. Shaming you for your sexuality

20. Shaming you for your femininity

21. Criticizing your personal style

22. Fear-mongering about your attractiveness to boys or men

The Role of Misogyny and Societal Narcissism

The projected self-hatred of narcissistic mothers onto their daughters is a human tragedy often perpetuated across generations. It is easy to pathologize the narcissistic mother and lay the blame at her feet, but her shame and rage are rooted in larger social problems.

Institutionalized gender inequity, misogyny, and distorted identity politics that objectify girls and women as symbols of male privilege and pleasure while stripping them of self-esteem, personal agency, and educational and economic opportunity drive generational narcissism.

Do you feel your mother is jealous of you? Read When A Mother Is Jealous of Her Daughter

The Path to Healing

To heal ourselves and our daughters, we must reimagine our core values as members of the human tribe. This includes teaching our daughters and our sons to respect and honor their own authenticity, respond empathetically to themselves and those around them, and think critically about prevailing norms.

We canโ€™t change our narcissistic mothers, but we can work on building self-love and respect in our own lives and relationships and guiding our children to carry that strength forward for themselves and those they touch.

Narcissistic mothers can have a heavy impact on their daughterโ€™s psyche, especially if they are constantly putting them down and criticizing their bodies.

The best way to counter this is by loving yourself and having confidence in yourself, as this can help you heal yourself from narcissistic abuse in the long run.

If you want to know more about narcissistic mothers and being the daughter of one, then this video might be helpful for you:


Written By Julie L. Hall
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today 

Why Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body pin

— Share —

, ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

7 Subtle Signs Youโ€™re Practically Gentle Parenting Your Partner

Clear Signs You Are Parenting Your Partner: Are You?

Do you find yourself in a relationship where you feel less like you’re with a partner and more like you’re raising a child? Constantly teaching, guiding, and hand-holding can be draining, especially when you’re the one doing all the emotional labor, and parenting your partner. 

If this sounds familiar, below are the signs you might be shouldering too much and why it’s time to rethink this relationship.

Read More Here:

Up Next

Is Your Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? 9 Ways to Help Her Break Free

Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? Things You Can Do

Have you ever had a very strong gut feeling that your daughter might not be in a healthy relationship? Or that she is in a relationship with a controlling boyfriend? Today we are going to talk about what you can do, when you have a daughter in a controlling relationship.

Yeah, itโ€™s a tough pill to swallow. Bossy boyfriends sneakily isolate, manipulate and dim the light in the people they date. And if your daughter is dating someone like this, then it’s understandable how tough it can be to watch that.

However, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel – as her mother, you can help her break free from her controlling boyfriend. This isnโ€™t about swooping in like a superhero; itโ€™s about being smart, supportive, and steady.

First, let’s start with trying to understand who a controlling boyfriend

Up Next

8 Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know

Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know

Gaslighting is often misunderstood, and myths about gaslighting only adds to the confusion. Understanding this and trying to break down the most common misconceptions can help us uncover the truth about this manipulative behavior.

KEY POINTS

There’s a difference between casual phrases and patterns of manipulative behavior.

Gaslighting can have serious consequences and leave emotional and psychological pain.

Recognizing gaslighters can save you a lot of emotional pain and doubt.

Itโ€™s concerning how certain psychological terms can quickly become f

Up Next

6 Phases Of A Relationship With A Narcissist: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Relationship With A Narcissist Phases Of The Toxic Cycle

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with each phase presenting new challenges and realizations. These phases of a narcissistic relationship leave you questioning your self-worth. Understanding these stages can help you navigate the ups and downs of a narcissistic relationship more effectively.

KEY POINTS

Narcissists may manipulate through observation and charm, creating a false sense of bonding.

These relationships have distinct phases, often involving a gradual, potentially traumatizing end.

Understanding these phases aids in healing and setting boundaries.

Up Next

8 Signs of a Petty Person Thatโ€™ll Have You Saying, โ€œWait, Really?โ€

Signs of Petty Person Thatll Have You Saying Wait Really

Do you ever get that feeling that you are the lead actor in a soap opera you didn’t sign up for? Do you think you are dealing with someone who is petty, by any chance?The signs of a petty person arenโ€™t always neon-lit, but once you spot them, youโ€™ll wonder how you missed it.

From holding grudges longer than your Netflix subscription to being the Sherlock Holmes of social media stalking, petty people have a unique way of spicing up life (not always in a good way).

So how do you know youโ€™re dealing with petty people? Letโ€™s break it down and start with trying to understand who is a petty person.

Related:

Up Next

Othello Syndrome: 7 Signs of Extreme Jealousy In A Relationship

Signs Of Othello Syndrome in Relationship

A small amount of jealousy is normal in any relationship. Some find it an indication of love, but there exists a deeper, more intense feeling that can disrupt peace of mind: Othello Syndrome. 

Some may experience a sinking feeling in their stomach when their partner spends time with their friends, despite assurances. They find themselves obsessively checking their partner’s phone or social media accounts.

So, What Is Othello Syndrome?

This psychiatric condition is a form of morbid or pathological jealousy that can dominate thoughts and actions. It leads a person to make repeated accusations on their partner or spouse, believing that theyโ€™re cheating on them, base

Up Next

Feeling Exhausted? 8 Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Have you ever hung out with someone and have left feeling like you just ran a 5k marathon without moving an inch? If you’re nodding along, this is just one of the many signs of an emotionally draining person.

These energy vampires are really talented when it comes to mentally exhausting you, even though you didn’t do anything but have a simple conversation.

Have there been times where you have felt completely wiped after a chat or hangout? Then maybe itโ€™s time to figure out if youโ€™re dealing with an emotionally draining person.

Today, we are going to talk about what is an emotionally draining person, the traits of an emotionally draining person and how to deal with an emotionally draining person.

Let’s start with what is an emotionally draining