Why Making Peace With Your Ex Is The Doorway To A Happier Life

Why Making Peace With Your Ex Is The Doorway To A Happier Life

If you had told me a few years back that making peace with your ex was even possible I would have laughed in your face.

My husband left me six years ago for his college girlfriend. We had been married for 20 years and one day he decided that he was just done. Or, rather, that he had found a replacement.

Suddenly, I wasn’t a wife and my kids were off at school so I no longer felt like a mother. I felt like my life was over. I was devastated. And I was very, very angry.

It has taken me a long time to get past the anger I have felt for my ex but I can say that I am so very glad that I was able to do so. Because I was able to do it, my life has become much better place.

How?

#1 – It improved my physical health.

One of the reasons that making peace with your ex is the way to a happier life is because when you can let go of a grudge you become a much healthier person.

People who hold on to grudges, who are chronically angry, are constantly in fight or flight mode. Fight or flight mode results in numerous functional bodily changes including increased heart rate and blood pressure and heightened immune response. Those changes, then, can increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions.

For me, the anger I felt for my ex definitely made my depression worse. My stomach hurt all the time and I lost tons of weight because I wasn’t eating. I contracted Bell’s palsy, a condition that paralyzed the left side of my face. I stopped sleeping and moved around like a zombie.

When my physical conditions started getting so extreme I realized that it was time to let go of the anger. My mother was angry with my father, her ex-husband, for 30 years and she died very young of pancreatic cancer. I didn’t want to end up like her.

So, if you find that the anger you feel is interfering with your physical health, work on letting it go so that you can move on and get healthy.

#2 — It allowed me to feel better about myself.

When my husband left me for another woman, he left me feeling like I was the biggest loser in the world. If he didn’t want me, the person who said he would want me forever, then who would?

I would spend hours at a time obsessing about what he and his woman were doing. Little things would go wrong and I would scream and yell, much like a child would. Whenever my ex and his girlfriend spent time with my kids, I would get so angry and jealous that I would curl up into a little ball and cry.

For quite a while I stumbled around, trying to find my place in the world, being held back by the anger that I felt for him. I tried to build a life for myself and find a new job but I just couldn’t push past my depression and anger and make it happen.

It was only once I let go of my anger and worked on making peace with my ex that I was able to start feeling okay about myself again. I didn’t feel like such a loser. I was able to get off my butt, start a business, start eating well and making new friends. My self-esteem slowly rebuilt itself to where it is today, somewhat off the charts.

Read How To Feel Normal Again (Even Though The World Is Not)

#3 — It was great for my kids. And my friends.

If you have children with your ex, making peace with him will be the biggest gift that you can give them.

When their parents split, the matter what age they are, children are confused, angry and hurt. I know that the anger that I felt for my kids’ father wasn’t healthy for any of us.

My son refused to talk about anything his father was doing and my daughter tended to over-share, somewhat perversely trying to make me feel better. Neither of those things were good for any of us, particularly for them.

I know that since I have made peace with their father, my kids are so much more willing to share with both of their parents their comings and goings. And this, more than anything, makes me happy.

Even if you don’t have kids, I can promise you that your friends will agree that making peace with your ex is a wonderful thing, if only so that they don’t have to listen to you talk about him anymore. They want to support you, always, but they most likely hate him and want him just to disappear.

#4 — It stopped me from obsessing about the past.

For many of us, we spend more time thinking about the past then we do thinking about our future. And constantly looking in the rearview mirror isn’t good for anybody.

We all live with regrets, with obsessions about what we did wrong, about the messes we made and the things we could have done differently. Spending so much time doing that takes us away from creating a new and better future for ourselves.

I am here to tell you that the past is in the past and there’s nothing we can do to change it. All we can do is to look at what we did, what we experienced, identify what we might have done differently and take that knowledge with us into the future. Being hard on ourselves for past behavior does us no good; it only makes us feel worse.

Read 13 Signs He Is Still Not Over His Ex

Once I started looking to the future, and not to the past, I was able to create a clear path for myself, a path that included the business that I wanted to build, the person who I wanted to be in the world and the love I wanted to find.

Instead of wasting time looking backwards, I moved to NYC, built myself a life coaching website, started speaking in public about life and love, started working with people living with mental illness and got out into the dating world.

So, stop wasting time obsessing about things you cannot change and start focusing on things that you can.

#5 — It allowed me to find TRUE LOVE.

When I was able to stop living in the past and start visualizing a future for myself, I knew that making peace with my ex was the best thing that I ever did.

I no longer spent all my time thinking about what happened in my marriage but instead I was able to think clearly about what I wanted for love in my future. I was able to think about what kind of man would be the right man for me. I was able to recognize that I deserved to be with the kind of man who would take care of me and treat me well. I was able to take the steps that I needed to take to find that love.

And guess what? I was able to find him. I found him because my head was up and I was keeping my eyes open instead of always looking inside at what was wrong with me. I found him. The love of my life. I never would’ve found him if I was still really angry with my ex. That I know.

Where is your true love? Could he be just around the corner? Keep your head up and your eyes open, focused on now and on the future, so you can spot him when he appears.

Making peace with your ex might seem impossible right now. And perhaps it is. But making peace with your ex as soon as you can will only make your life a better place.

Holding on to anger and resentment is very bad for your mental and physical health. It keeps you trapped in a cycle of self-loathing. It’s bad for your relationships with your children and your friends. It keeps you from moving forward and finding true love.

So, do what you need to do to work on making peace with your ex. Working with a life coach, like me, someone who’s been through it all and who has helped many women do it themselves is an excellent place to start.

You can do this. It might be hard but it will be worth i

If you have read this far you must really want to make peace with your ex.

Let me help you, NOW, so that you can start TODAY and build better life for yourself!

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!


Why Making Peace With Your Ex Is The Doorway To A Happier Life

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

What is a Trophy Husband In Today’s Relationship Dynamics?

Signs of a Trophy Husband: Exploring Modern Masculinity

Most of us are aware of the term “trophy wife”. But have you heard about a “trophy husband”? It is a somewhat new term that is a gender-swapped version of the more popular concept of “trophy wife”. 

In today’s evolving society, where gender roles are constantly being redefined, there’s a rising trend of trophy husbands. These men are not only eye-catching companions but also possess qualities that make them desirable partners. 

Today, let us explore this fascinating concept and understand what is a trophy husband,  the signs to look for, why being a trophy husband is exhausting, and the potential issues that can arise in relationships with them.

What is a Trophy Husband?



Up Next

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? 7 Signs Of Roommate Syndrome And What You Can Do To Change That

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? Signs Spark Is Gone

Are you feeling like roommates in a marriage? You know, that sinking feeling when you realize the spark has fizzled, and your relationship has become more about paying bills and coordinating schedules than love and connection.

The thing is, roommate syndrome is more common than you think, and many couples face this, after being together for a long time. When you are in the roommate phase of a relationship, you might ask yourself why and when the romance disappeared or if you’re both just pretending to be happy.

But that might not be the case. In this article, we are going to look at what is roommate syndrome, the signs of roommate syndrome, and how to deal with roommate syndrome, so that you stop feeling like roommates in a marriage.

So, let’s get started, shall we?



Up Next

Am I In Love Or Just Experiencing Limerence? 5 Signs To Look For

Limerence vs Love? Signs That Differ From True Love

Are you head over heels for somebody or have you plummeted into limerence? Learn the distinction between limerence vs love to make sure that your romantic bond doesn’t turn into a serious addiction.

Limerence is a psychological state that can leave you feeling exhilarated but confused. This state isn’t just another word for love. It has unique properties that differ limerence vs love.

What is limerence vs love?

In simpler words, limerence in a relationship when someone is madly in love with another person. So much so that it affects their mindset and they can’t think of anything else but him/her.

It might not seem too different from love.



Up Next

8 Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Do you feel like your relationship has lost that spark from before? If you answered yes, then you should know that many couples go through this, which is why it’s important to know how to improve your relationship. This article is going to talk about how to strengthen your relationship and upgrade your relationship.

It seems like it should be natural to treat our partners with love, consideration, and respect. Yet, for many people in long-term relationships, the warmth and kindness that were present in the early days of dating can fade over time.

Most people treat their partners with the utmost respect and kindness in the courting stage. The relationship probably wouldn’t have progressed if they hadn’t. Why do so many people present the best version of themselves early on, and over time, treat their beloved partners with disrespect, di



Up Next

5 Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

If you feel that the spark in your relationship is gone, then let me tell you something – you can rekindle the spark in your relationship again! Now the question is, how to reignite the spark in your relationship? How can you make your relationship feel like the olden days again? Let’s find out!

Remember the feelings you experienced when you first started dating your spouse or partner? Perhaps you felt excitement, attraction, and anticipation? As the relationship has progressed, has it been difficult to maintain those initial feelings?

Once life’s responsibilities, careers, kids, and the passing of time are added to the mix, that initial spark can easily diminish if we don’t keep it stoked.

Fortunately



Up Next

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Obsessive Ex? 4 Tips For Successfully Handling One

Deal With Your Partner's Obsessive Ex: Tips And Tricks

Have you ever had to deal with an obsessive ex? Moreover, have you ever had to deal with your partner’s obsessive and toxic ex? If you have, you already know how disturbing it is to go through this. This article is going to talk about some of the best ways to deal with a toxic ex or deal with your partner’s toxic ex.

My friend is happily married to a man who has a child. He is a devoted and loving father who sought full custody of the children; the court denied his petition.

His two children are living with their narcissistic mother who actively alienates the children from their father. His ex was obsessed with him during their short and turbulent relationship. She was deceitful, abusive, controlling, and highly destructive. They hooked up while drunk.



Up Next

Are You Hesitant To Commit? 6 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Commitment In A Relationship And How To Navigate Them

Signs of Lack of Commitment in a Relationship: Red Flags

Do you always find yourself in short-term, casual relationships? Does the idea of committing in a relationship make you nervous? Are you showing signs of lack of commitment in a relationship?

Commitment issues can be a significant barrier to building a healthy and fulfilling partnership, affecting both individuals involved. Today, let us explore what are commitment issues, the signs that may indicate their presence, the underlying causes of commitment issues, and effective strategies to overcome them.

By understanding these factors, you can empower yourself to navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and clarity.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?