It’s Okay to Make Mistakes in Love, Than Waiting For a Perfect One
Life needs to be flawless. Everything should be in place. If life is not perfect it’s not large enough.
In the hopes of living a life worth appreciating, we often engage ourselves in thoughts too overriding for us.
“Let’s be single until….”, “Why hurry?” “I should stay single till I find a person with so and so qualities.” “It’s okay to wait for the best.”
We often limit ourselves from a number of experiences in life hoping to boycott major loss and failure. But like every coin has two faces, these limiting ideas only cut us short from opportunities. When it comes to relationships we are extra careful about our hearts getting broken and us investing emotions, energy and time on the wrong person. Because who is not aware of the aftermath of heartbreak?
Some people (including you) might be of the opinion that waiting for the right person to come in your life saves a lot of unnecessary emotional involvement. While having such thoughts are admirable, getting a glance of the contrasting side is also encouraged.
“The perfect one is worth the wait” – the lie that we have repeatedly told ourselves. The perfect one is not worth the wait as there is NO ‘perfect one’.
We typically have two concepts etched in our mind – a perfect person and a perfect relationship. Both of which are non-existent.
Every one of us has a few ideas set in our mind about the criteria our future partner needs to fulfill to be an eligible soulmate. We look forward to meeting this person who will check all the boxes. In other words, the person we deem perfect. “He has to be honest, caring, responsible, understanding, rich, hardworking, funny and lack insecurities, attachment issues, and bad habits.” “She has to be beautiful, down-to-earth, smart, intellectual, confident, loving and accepting.” Well, the fact is nobody is perfect. You know that too. But when it comes to choosing our life partner we often forget it.
You have to make some compromises in your needs and expectations regarding what an ideal partner should be like. Admit that you have unacceptable flaws and everyone, including the person you seek, will have his/her share of imperfections.
You hasten or you wait, you cannot change this reality.
A successful relationship entails two accepting people working consistently to make sure that the spark remains. No relationship is perfect in the literal sense of the term. It is only a reflection of imperfections that are accepted by both the partners to define their own perfection. To believe that your relationship will magically turn into a fairytale is sheer foolishness. You have to contribute your share of effort to cook the ‘power-couple’ you always wished to be a part of.
Make mistakes that are holding you back
What are you scared of?
Risks are a part of our life. The more we take risks the more we are exposed to the probability of failure, and also to equal probability of success. Staying single in the fear of a shattered heart is akin to refusing to go for work because you might kill yourself on the way. Did you consider the other side too? You might as well reach the office safe and sound.
I am definitely not here to convince you to commit to a relationship even if you are not ready for one or have other personal issues. But, for once, consider asking yourself this: How will you know what clicks for you if you don’t make wrong relationship choices?
Take this, for example, you might like men who are carefree and happy-go-lucky. So the next time you fell for a man who is a freedom-lover you suddenly realized that fantasy is better than reality and you can hardly tolerate his carefree nature. Unless you get down and dirty with reality you will not discover crucial truths about yourself. Every experience reveals a lot about ourselves. You might want one thing but need another.
Relationships are not linear. You have to travel the crooked road, the sharp edges, the uncertain turns, and twists together, to reach the final destination. On the way, you get to explore yourself and the journey discloses hidden truths about self which you yourself were unaware of. You get to know your boundaries, your limits and your capabilities as a partner.
A relationship, whether perfect or not, teaches us virtuous lessons of life – to be able to be patient, accepting, empathetic and understanding of another person, to love someone unconditionally, to compromise.
True love is not granted. You have to get lost on the way, you have to try and fail, you have to test yourself, you have to get your heartbroken. You have to fail in love. It’s not a hit or miss. It is miss, miss, miss till you hit.