However, I couldn’t tap into that motivation until I first overcame my fear of success. I had to first accept that if I did my very best and succeeded, I was going to end up with far more responsibility. I had to become a “vibrational match” for that scenario; otherwise I’d never be able to attract it and maintain it.
I had to answer those tough questions: Who am I to reach the point of influencing thousands of people a day, even while I’m sleeping? Who am I to tell people how to improve their lives? Who am I to try to make a difference?
Subconsciously I couldn’t handle those questions, so for years I just maintained my status quo position as a seemingly contented computer game developer. Occasionally I would journal about them though, but it wasn’t enough to get me past the underlying fear of success.
Position Vs. Power
What eventually allowed me to break that pattern was when I looked at the situation from a different angle. I was thinking about the idea, “With great power comes great responsibility,” and I noticed I’d been assuming that my power would increase if I really did my best. In other words I equated power with position. As my position increased, so would my power… and thereby so would my responsibility.
At that point I had a revelation that threw me for a loop. What if power didn’t come from position? If I have the potential to achieve a greater position, but I’m not pursuing it, doesn’t that mean I actually do have the power? If I don’t exercise my power, it doesn’t mean I’m powerless. It just means I’m inactive.
I thought to myself, “Crap! I’ve been thinking all this time that I’m staving off power (and thus responsibility) by declining to act. But all I’m really doing is giving up control. If I have the potential, then I have the power, which means I have the responsibility too, whether I act on it or not.” Failure to act does NOT relieve one of responsibility.
It was then that I had an epiphany. I realized I could never escape responsibility by failing to act. The only thing I could escape was control. This is why I say you can give up control but never responsibility. Responsibility is a given.
That realization gave me a good kick in my complacency. Even though I felt like I was in a relatively powerless position on the outside, in that moment I finally accepted my inner power. That included accepting responsibility for that power. And of course by the law of attraction, once I began resonating with that inner power, it was only a matter of time before the outer world reflected it. If you’ve been following this web site for a year or more, then you’ve seen that manifestation unfolding before your eyes, and you’ll see that process continue over the next year as well.
Responsibility Is A Privilege
That thinking process got me out of my ego and past my fear of success. When I realized I couldn’t escape responsibility no matter what my external position looked like, it made sense to just accept it. My fear wasn’t at some distant point in the future — it was already here and now.