Have you ever felt very frustrated in your relationship because your partner refuses to change their bad habits and problematic behavior? Sometimes the only thing you can do when your partner won’t make positive changes in relationships is to walk away.
When you have been doing everything possible to get your partner to change a behavior that bothers or concerns you, and it still doesn’t change, you will eventually reach a crossroads in your relationship. If leaving the relationship isn’t an option, you must find a way to let go of your attempts to change or control your partner.
If you continue to focus on your mate, you will continue to suffer. Letting go and accepting that your partner won’t change is a tremendous gift you can and should give yourself.
Here Is How You Can Let Go When Your Partner Refuses To Change
1. Letting Go Of Control
It is possible that you may not be tuned in to a big part of the dynamic between you and others that involves your need to control them. It is essential to recognize and let go of any need, motivation, or desire to control or manage others, including your partner. It’s time to admit that you can only control yourself.
In an unfulfilling relationship you might tend to want to help, fix, protect, or rescue. As natural as it is to want to do this with someone we care about, who we perceive as stuck or struggling, it only works in Hollywood movies. In real life, it makes things worse because it doesn’t work—period.
Furthermore, one truth you should embrace is that not everyone will want to change, and that’s okay. Just as it is okay for you to make the decision about what you want to change about yourself; everyone else has the same prerogative.
When you stop trying to control someone else, you empower yourself in ways you may not have realized. You can shift that energy into something that is changeable. In some situations, you may begin to recognize aspects of yourself that you wish to change instead. You will no longer be deflecting outward but inward.
When you stop controlling others, it’s probable that you will now be focusing on what the actual problem is (and it won’t be what you had thought it was) and find that you can effectively solve it.
2. Leveraging Your Strengths
Most people have to make an effort to think positively instead of negatively (called a negativity bias). The constant focus on dysfunction, disease, and what’s wrong is frequently viewed as both undesirable and possibly even harmful.
Maintaining a pessimistic view takes away our perception that we have choices in how we want to think and behave. You can adjust your thinking and focus on strengths that help establish a more optimistic outlook. Doing so will affirm your mental toughness and make you a happier person.
The first step to leveraging your strengths is to take inventory of them. Do not downplay or minimize any possible strength! It’s time to boast a bit and bask in the glory of your positive attributes. Think about what comes to mind on your own, comments and compliments you have been given by others, or direct feedback from school or work by way of grades or raises.
3. Falling in Love with Yourself
Loving yourself is an excellent idea! I’m not talking about the narcissistic version of self-love but the version where you have positive regard for your own well-being and happiness. People who pour themselves into a troubled relationship find that they have neglected their individual needs and contentment. They have not been, loving or kind toward themselves, even if it is unintentional.