Disrespect in a relationship is a silent killer, that erodes your relationship gradually, and before you know it, it has ruined it for good. No matter how ‘perfect’ of a relationship you might have, disrespect alone can destroy relationships, and get it to such a point that it becomes impossible to come back from it.
If you are asked to pen down 3 important ingredients of a successful relationship, what would you include in it? Most probably, ‘love’, ‘understanding’ and ‘communication’ or maybe ‘love’, ‘acceptance’,and ‘trust’. Love will surely top the charts but how many of you would include ‘respect’ in it?
I fear, only a few of you would.
Even when so much of a relationship hinges on respect, but we never really focus on its significance to change the entire chemistry of a relationship.
There are several relationships that are spiraling down the wrong way because the partners consistently function on disrespecting each other.
Doesn’t respect come as an obvious complement in a relationship? We like to believe so. But no, love is not synonymous with respect.
Love is, “I need you. I want you to be happy.”
Respect is, “I look up to you. I value your words and opinions.”
Even though respecting looks like an easy task to accomplish but you will frequently see couples eroding each other, often actively participating in disrespecting each other.
6 Subtle Forms of Disrespect in relationships
1. In the form of derogatory comments to belittle your partner like you are having a dinner date with your partner and friends, and suddenly you make a comment on your partner’s behavior like, “Please ignore his crazy antics!”
2. Being inconsiderate of their opinions, like, “I have decided what to do about my future. Please don’t comment on what you have no idea about.”
3. Questioning their potential, like, “Are you sure you can do this? Think again.”
4. Subtle body language which shows indifference like rolling your eyes, grimacing at something your partner said which you don’t agree with, dismissing something your partner said with a sway of your hand, breathing deeply as if you are containing your anger and contempt at your partner.
5. Constantly sticking your face into the phone, even when conversing with your partner.
6. A partner who constantly compliments other people but is indifferent to all forms of positive qualities their partner has.
Respecting takes us the ability to look for the qualities, capabilities in our partner, and adore, admire them for that. Respect in a relationship is the pedestal you put your partner on because you accept the person as they are. Respecting also means being able to look up to, get inspired, and encouraged by your partner’s qualities.
You believe it or not when a person you love so much, admires you, lifts you up, and appreciates you for who you are, rather than pulling you down for what you are not, you feel complete. Half of the attraction works when the other person honors, values and considers you more than anything else.
Even though disrespecting doesn’t have any immediate impact on the relationship, other than an argument or two, but over time it breeds contempt. Gradually resentments start growing into grudges and the intense passion is replaced by toxic connection.
Once a relationship is sabotaged, it often gets difficult to save it. You no longer have the trust in your partner that you once have. There is always sheathing anger rising in you every time you face your disrespecting partner.