4 Ways To Restore Respect In A Relationship


Ways Restore Respect Relationship

When there is zero respect in your relationship, it is hard coming back from that. Mutual respect is the essence of a happy and healthy relationship, and if that is absent then it is just a matter of time before your relationship crumbles. But worry not, there are a few things you can do to restore respect in your relationship.

Lack of respect is one of the key reasons many couples get divorced. It is one of the major marriage problem signs. It destroys love, connection, and intimacy.

Many individuals and couples that join my online save my marriage program, share that respect has been missing or lost in their relationship. So I wanted to address what respect is in a loving relationship and how you can restore respect if it is missing.

Dr. Emerson in “Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” says that women most need to be shown love and men most need respect in a marriage for harmony. I agree with Dr. Emerson’s notion, however, men also need love and women need respect, as does the relationship. As mentioned, it’s definitely one of the marriage problem signs.

What is Respect?

Respect is where you consistently:

1. Consider and value the feelings and opinions of your partner.

2. Talk to and treat your lover in ways that you would want to be treated.

3. Compromise and negotiate with your partner respectfully.

Lack of Respect – Marriage Problem Signs

While this sounds very simple the stresses and strains of modern-day life can easily lead for respect to go. We probably all at some point have been guilty of taking our stresses out on our partner. But if this has become a constant way you relate, then you need to take action quickly to restore it. As I mentioned a lack of respect can lead to divorce.

When rebuilding respect it is important to know that respect is not just the absence of negative behavior, but also the presence of positive behaviors.

Related: 8 Signs You’re With Someone Who Respects You

A couple that joined my online program recently were suffering from a lack of respect in their marriage. Keith felt his wife didn’t respect the hard work he was doing to provide for the family. He took his wife Sara’s complaining about the lack of time he spent with the family and her telling him to get a better-paid job, as a real insult. He said to me “respect went a long time ago Nicola, I am not sure how we can ever get it back.”

Sara felt her husband was not respecting everything she was doing, raising the three children, running the home, organizing all the weekend activities, holidays, and family gatherings. They both thought that each other had it easy. Sara said “I’d love to be able to escape to the office or go on a business trip and take a break. I get no break.” She had shared this several times with Keith at home and he became furious saying his trips are not a holiday but hard work, long hours, and lots of pressure.

This lack of respect for each others’ roles led to a lack of respect in the way they communicated. They spoke down to each other using sarcasm or criticism rather than be kind at first. When they started the online program they were barely communicating. Slowly the relationship was shutting down.

In order to restore respect, there are several things you can do to avoid this common marriage problem.

Here Are 4 Ways To Restore Respect in a Relationship

1. Respect each other’s roles.

The chances are you agreed on the roles you were going to have in the marriage and home. The biggest way to show respect is to support and appreciate each other’s efforts. Compliment and thank your partner. We all like to be praised for the efforts and gifts we bring to the relationship, even if it is our role. This restores respect because being noticed and valued is important.

Another way to show respect is to be there for each other if one of you is having a difficult or tough time. Where you listen without trying to fix the problem. You act respectfully when you show support for them during these stressful times.

For example; you could offer her/him a “sleep in” on the weekend, a power nap, or a massage if they are tired. Or encourage them to take some time out for themselves and do something they love.

Restore Respect in a Relationship
Restore Respect in a Relationship

2. Respect each other’s viewpoints and feelings.

Disagreements are normal and healthy in a marriage. Vicious personal attacks at your spouse’s character or personality are not! You can disagree without belittling or hurting someone. This is the difference between standing up for yourself and being defensive and attacking. Everyone has a right to their own feelings and viewpoint and all feelings are valid.

It is disrespectful to say to someone “you shouldn’t feel that way”, “you’re too sensitive”, “stop crying” or “you are over-reacting”. This doesn’t help you remain close. For respect to be present you need to validate each other’s feelings and points of view, even if you do not agree. Simply saying “I can see how you may feel that way.”

Related: 25 Ways You Can Show Respect to Your Partner

3. Respect each other’s opinions.

This is critical for a supportive close relationship. The first step in respecting your partner’s opinion is to ask for it. Decisions that affect you will often affect each other.

As Steven Covey said, “The key to commitment is involvement”. I heard that when I was 20 and have been using it ever since for all personal and business relationships, sharing my thoughts and asking for input from others. When you involve your partner you are demonstrating respect and honoring their value.

Reem was angry that her husband was always constantly asking her what to do all the time when it came to her children.

 “Nicola, he drives me mad asking me what to feed the baby or where to put the nappies, he should know.”

“What if he didn’t ask and did it wrong I said.“

“He does get everything wrong all the time.”

“So do you tell him that,” I said?

“Oh yes, but he never listens or learns.”  

Reem’s constant criticism had led her husband to not want to take decisions for fear of being moaned at. Then Reem became annoyed that he was asking her opinion on everything. I suggested to Reem that if she wants this to change she needs to empower her husband and let him decide what he thinks is best.

So she agreed to try the sayings “whatever you think” or “it’s your call” and not to moan if she didn’t like the choice he made, as she, after all, encouraged him to take the lead. This simple statement shift made a HUGE difference in their marriage. He felt respected and she felt less burdened.

4. Respect each other by making joint decisions.

Make your decisions together and continue to dialogue until you reach a joint compromise or agreement to disagree and move forward.

What about if they do something that causes you to lose respect?

If there is lost respect due to infidelity: financial, emotional, cyber, or physical or due to an act of violence then respect MUST be rebuilt through consistent acts of kindness over a period of time.

Supporting and maintaining respect during the course of a relationship takes effort. We are all human, and if someone begins to treat us negatively, inconsiderately, and disrespectfully, we often tend to respond in kind.

This can set off a vicious cycle where the mutual disrespect can feed on itself. Similarly, an inability to resolve or manage conflicts or differences can lead to anger and frustration, which if expressed in negative and blaming ways can start the same cycle of negative interactions and result in the loss of respect.

Related: 6 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You

To support couples re-establish respect I share that you can never really “work on the relationship, you can only ever work on yourself.”  It is disrespectful to police your partner, so I work individually with men and women to re-establish respect by treating their spouses differently and freeing themselves and the relationship of negativity.

Most people believe in Karma but they tend to forget this within their close relationships. Start treating your spouse how you would like to be treated is the quickest way for respect to come back.

Hope you enjoyed reading this.

From my heart to yours,


Written by Nicola Beer
Originally appeared on SaveMyMarriageProgram.com

4 Ways To Restore Respect in a Relationship
4 Ways To Restore Respect in a Relationship
Ways Restore Respect Relationship Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The 3 Most Common Types Of Cheaters: Uncovering The Love Fraudsters

Most Common Types Of Cheaters: The Silent Echoes Of Deceit

In every love story, the sweet haze of romance often hides some unsettling figures lurking in the shadows—figures of deceit that can turn sweet stories bitter. When it comes to infidelity and cheating, you might be a bit surprised to know that there are different types of cheaters, mainly 3 types of cheaters.

Revealing these types of cheaters might bring out uncomfortable truths, but they’re important for understanding the complex world of human emotions. Through their different ways of dishonesty, they show the complicated and tangled nature of cheating. Each one represents a warning about the rough patches that love can sometimes

Up Next

The Zodiac Wife Handbook: Which Zodiac Wifey Are You?

Twelve Zodiac Signs As Wives: Accurately Revealing Zodiac Traits

Have you ever thought what kind of wife would you make? Let’s take a look at the zodiac signs as wives and what unique value they bring to their marriage!

Astrology offers an intriguing lens through which to view human personalities and tendencies. The zodiac provides archetypes that can help us understand individual quirks and attributes.

Marriage, as one of life’s most significant relationships, is a particularly interesting area to explore astrologically.

Below, we delve into what each

Up Next

5 Brutal Reasons Divorced People Threaten Married People: The Challenging Dynamics Revealed

Divorced People Threaten Married People: Five Brutal Reasons

Have you ever wondered why some divorced people threaten married people? It’s an intriguing phenomenon that can stir up a range of emotions and reactions. 

The truth is that married people are threatened by divorced people in ways that may surprise you. In this article, we’ll delve into five compelling reasons behind this intriguing dynamic.

Read more here: 9 Warning Signs Of Resentment In Marriage And How To Deal With Them

What Are The Possible

Up Next

Revitalize Your Marriage: 5 Easy Steps To Recharge Your Relationship

Revitalize Your Marriage: Five Easy Steps That Can Help

Do you feel like the romance has gone from your marriage? Are you wondering how to revitalize your marriage or how to recharge your relationship? This article is going to explore in detail some of the underrated and best ways to revitalize your marriage. 

Have you ‘lost that loving feeling’ with your mate? What began as a small sense of separation has grown into a gaping chasm that competes with the Grand Canyon?

If your marriage is like many, then that state of affairs is understandable. Among the thousand things competing for your attention each day, your spouse is just one more on the list.

It’s not that you don’t care, you’ve just fallen into a routine. Both of you have slowly walked int

Up Next

The Anatomy Of Marriage Failure: 5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Fail

5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Fail: Breaking The Vows

There can be so many reasons why marriages fail, but there are a few major causes of marriage failure that might not seem like a big deal but can prove to be the final nail in the coffin for your marriage. Let’s find out the top reasons why marriages fail. 

The divorce rates for first marriages have declined in recent years and are now down from 50 percent to just over 44 percent (World Population Review, 2023). The rates rise to 60 percent for second marriages and 73 percent for third marriages (Divorce.com, 2023).

According to the data offered by the Pew Research Center,

Up Next

Exiting The Infidelity Maze: 5 Ways To Get Out Of An Extramarital Affair

Get Out Of An Extramarital Affair: 5 Ways To Break Free

Sometimes ending an affair, especially when it’s an extramarital affair can be a slippery slope for many. However, it’s important to get out of an extramarital affair if you want to save your family and marriage (if that is your prerogative). This post is going to explore how to get out of an affair and how to end an affair. 

Even though 84 percent of Americans believe that infidelity is morally wrong, the infidelity rate in the United States has been slowly on the rise (Pew Research Center, 2014).

Zuckerman (2020) reported that approximately 20 pe

Up Next

Love, Laughter, And Forever: 40+ Inspiring Happy Marriage Quotes

40 Best Marriage Quotes That Will Touch Your Heart

Love is a flame that ignites our hearts, and marriage is the union that binds two souls together for eternity. Let these inspiring marriage quotes remind us that true love knows no boundaries and endures all things.

Heartwarming Happy Marriage Quotes 

1. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” – André Maurois

2. “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer

3. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

4. “A long-la