How To Keep Your Marriage Happy: 5 Things To Do And 5 Things Not To Do

keep your marriage happy

Marriages are not perfect. It takes a lot of effort and patience, moreover understanding to build a successful and happy marriage. There is no secret formula for a flawless relationship but there are some ways to live a happy and content marriage relationship.

Good for you for looking for things to do to keep your marriage happy. Marriage is long and hard and being proactive is the best way to keep it healthy. So many of us put off working on our marriage, hoping that someday we will have the opportunity to do so, only to find that it’s too late.

Of course, alongside the importance of doing things to keep your marriage healthy are things that you definitely should NOT do. Ironically, they are often two sides of the same coin, and understanding that can make them easier to manage.

Here Are 5 Things To Do To Keep Your Marriage Happy And 5 Things Not To Do. Read On!

1. Do: Communicate

How To Keep Your Marriage Happy: 5 Things To Do And 5 Things Not To Do

If you have read any of my blogs, or those of other relationship coaches, you will know by now the NUMBER ONE most important thing to do to keep your marriage happy is communication.

What kind of communication? Communication about feelings, about household chores, about expectations, about in-laws, about work schedules, about the kids, about the dogs, about your friends, about money, about anything and everything to do with your marriage.

Without communication, relationships can, and will, stall out. Without communication, people hurt each other unintentionally. Without communication, couples lose their connection.

Why don’t couples communicate? Most commonly it is because they don’t want to cause their partner pain but also because they don’t take the time or they don’t want to deal with the fallout or they just don’t think to do it. Those are pretty lame excuses to not do the key thing that could keep a marriage happy.

So, don’t just TRY to communicate – do it! I promise you that if you do, it will be worth it.

Don’t: Be Passive Aggressive

The flip side of communication is passive aggression. The definition of someone who is passive-aggressive is someone who ‘uses indirect resistance as a reaction to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.’

Are you someone who says they will do something, knowing you won’t?  Are you someone who reacts to a comment from your partner with a sneer and a roll of the eyes? Are you someone who puts off things, even if you know that they are important to your partner?

All of these things are hallmarks of someone who is passive-aggressive. More than almost anything, passive aggression can sabotage a happy relationship.

If there is one thing to do to keep your marriage healthy it is to never be passive-aggressive – communicate with your person. If you can communicate about your wants and needs, you will find yourself happier than you ever thought you could be.

Related: Why Good Communication Is Actually Good Emotion Regulation in Disguise

2. Do: Work Together

My daughter always said that her friend’s parents who were still together when she went off to college were parents who worked well together.

Instead of one person being in charge, both adults made the decisions around social life, kid’s activities, time around the holidays, date nights, etc. All of these things allowed the couple to stay connected in a way that if one person had been in charge would not be possible.

Furthermore, the ability to work well together will make passive-aggressiveness less likely, which will only make your relationship healthier.

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Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.View Author posts