Intimacy With Others Starts From Within

 / 

,
Intimacy With Others Starts From Within

Having an intimate connection with someone has to start with you looking for intimacy within yourself. That is how you can be truly intimate with others. Unless you get in touch with yourself intimately, you will never be able to experience real intimacy with someone else.

“Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself.” – Thomas Moore

Do you try to create intimacy with your partner and others who are important to you without first checking inside to see if you are connected with yourself? Do you believe that if only someone would love you and connect with you, then you would feel happy and full inside? Are you looking for someone else to complete you?

One of the major reasons that many relationships don’t work is because partners are alienated and divided within themselves, which comes from abandoning yourself rather than loving yourself.

My work is all about helping people learn how to love themselves so that they can share their love with others and experience the intimacy and connection that we all want and need.

“Intimacy begins with oneself.”

What does it mean to be intimate with yourself?

Intimacy with others is about feeling emotionally close and connected with them. It is about connecting from your heart rather than from your head. You can connect intellectually with others from your mind, but emotional intimacy is about a heart connection.

The same thing is true on the inner level. You cannot be intimate with yourself when you are focused on your mind rather than in your heart. Inner connection and the resulting inner intimacy occurs when you open your heart to your feelings with kindness, compassion, and a desire to learn about what your feelings are telling you.

Related: Emotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection

“Alienation and division with yourself” occurs when you disconnect from your heart and your feelings with some form of self-abandonment, such as judging yourself, turning to addictions to avoid your feelings, focusing in your head, or making someone else responsible for your well-being, worth or sense of safety.

Years ago I used to wonder why I could not maintain intimacy with others. I had no idea about all the ways I was abandoning myself. I had no idea that my main intention was to avoid my feelings and avoid responsibility for them and to have control over how others felt about me. I didn’t realize how much I was judging myself and how awful that made me feel. I didn’t realize that turning to my various addictions – food, anger, judgmental-ness, caretaking, or withdrawal – made me feel anxious and alone inside. I thought these painful feelings were being caused by others’ unloving-ness toward me.

It wasn’t until I started to practice Inner Bonding that I understood what I had been doing my whole life up until then. As I diligently practiced the Six Steps of Inner Bonding, I gradually learned to stay present in my body, mindful of my feelings, and to want to take responsibility for my feelings rather than avoid them. I gradually learned how to lovingly manage the deeper painful feelings of life that I had been avoiding my whole life – the loneliness, heartbreak, and helplessness over others that plagued my childhood, and that I had learned to avoid with my self-abandonment.

Starting from my atheist background, I gradually learned to connect with and trust my personal spiritual Guidance. I gradually learned to see my true soul self through the eyes of my spiritual Guidance, which enabled me to love and value who I really am.

Related: 6 Steps To Becoming An Emotionally Available Lover

I gradually become connected and intimate with myself.

As this occurred, I found that I was able to deeply connect with others. What a joy! I can’t think of anything more rewarding and profound in life than the emotional intimacy and connection that occurs with others when I’m connected with myself. Sharing love with others is truly the greatest joy in my life, and it can occur only when I’m deeply connected with myself.

For information or to schedule a phone or Skype session: 310-459-1700 • 888-646-6372 (888-6INNERBOND) http://www.innerbonding.com


Written by Margaret Paul, PhD

Intimacy With Others Starts From Within pin
Intimacy With Others Starts From Within
Intimacy With Others Starts From Within pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How To Spend Me Time? 8 Best Ways To Make The Most Of Your Solitude

How To Spend Me Time? Best Ways To Make The Most Of It

We all know that life can get pretty hectic sometimes, with deadlines to meet, errands to run, and a never-ending to-do list. But in the midst of all the chaos, it’s really important for you to carve out some “me-time” to recharge your batteries and reconnect with yourself. So, how to spend me time, and make the most of your precious moments alone?

Well, this article is going to explore some of the best me time ideas, and how you can have an amazing time by yourself. So, are you ready to figure out what to do so that you can make the most of your alone time? Let’s get started.

Related: 10 Things That Make An Intr



Up Next

How To Not Hate Your Body: 4 Ideas That Work

How To Not Hate Your Body: Ideas That Work

How to not hate your body? What can you do if your aim is improving your body image? Dealing with body image issues is challenging, to say the least. However, it is possible to stop hating your body without losing a single pound or focusing on the weighing scale. Let’s explore how to stop hating your body and loving yourself more.

Sometimes I get emails that tear me up with their honesty and vulnerability, recently I received one that particularly touched me.

“I wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your podcast! I always look forward to the 20-30 minutes where I can just relax and listen to your discussion.



Up Next

8 Body Flaws Men Find Irresistibly Attractive In Women

Body Flaws Men Find Irresistibly Attractive In Women

Today we are going to explore a topic that’s not just interesting, but honestly, a bit heart warming too! We are going to talk about the “imperfections” and “body flaws” which women feel awkward about, but men absolutely love!

You know what I mean; the tiny body flaws that we are convinced make us less attractive. As women, we often regard them as shortcomings or things that take away from our beauty, but they are the very things that many men fall in love with.

So, let us plunge into this and find out what are those “body flaws” that men really adore about us, and what men think about women’s bodies.



Up Next

5 Signs You Are Afraid Of Being Seen: Invisible Walls

Signs You Are Afraid Of Being Seen: Invisible Walls

Do you ever feel like you are afraid of being seen, and that’s why you have erected several walls around you so that no one can see your vulnerable side? This article is going to explore five signs you are afraid of being seen and what the fear of being seen really means.

Deep down, most of us want to be seen and accepted for who we are. Showing up fully in your relationships and allowing yourself to be seen is a vulnerable experience that requires you to let your guard down.

On the one hand, taking such a risk can feel incredibly anxiety-provoking, while on the other hand, not taking such a risk can cause your relationships to feel stagnant and block them from growing.



Up Next

Dating With Low Self Esteem? 6 Tips For Navigating The Dating Scene with Confidence

Dating With Low Self Esteem? Tips For Being More Confident

Ah, the exciting universe of dating! Dating in the modern world can feel like a rollercoaster filled with thrilling emotions and fluttering hearts. But what do you do when you suffer from low self esteem? What does it look like, dating with low self esteem?

Dating with low self esteem can feel as difficult as trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with one hand tied behind your back. Interactions may be marred by negative self-perceptions which can make you doubt your worth and desirability. However, don’t let that scare you, because low self-esteem does not necessarily mean doom.

In this article, we are going to t



Up Next

How Do Dogs Help with Depression: Exploring 5 Pawsitive Impacts!

How Do Dogs Help with Depression: Psychological Benefits!

The attachment that humans make with dogs goes beyond affability. To learn how do dogs help with depression is to consider not only the happiness they bring but also their deeper healing capacities for mental health

In the present fast-paced and challenging world where mental well-being is as important as physical fitness. The connection between humans and dogs is both ancient and deep. For centuries these creatures have been more than pets; they have been trusted friends, company during difficult times, unfailing love, etc.

This articl



Up Next

What Is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment: 5 Alarming Traits And Ways To Cope

What Is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style: Traits

Are you or someone you care about finding it tough to open up about feelings and build close connections with others? Despite your best efforts, you seem to self-destruct in relationships.  If these scenarios sound familiar, you might be dealing with what is dismissive-avoidant attachment

This pattern often begins in early childhood and is not something one can consciously control. Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style might not fully understand why they face challenges in relationships or tend to distance themselves from intimacy.

The good news is that there are ways to navigate and overcome these struggles. In this article, we’ll delve into the dynamics of dismissive-avoidant attachment, offering insights and st