I value people and I value memories. I attach my whole being to it. For a person like me, memories, people, and places mean a lot – they mean almost everything. And I would never want to lose any of it.
If there comes a choice between leaving something and fighting, I wouldn’t waste a second to decide what I’d do. I will fight – I will fight till the very end to preserve something or someone and stay with them forever.
I confess I don’t have the strongest heart. It feels too much and it latches on. I cannot deal with a situation where I have to leave. I cannot deal with breakups or friendships gone wrong.
I’m not the person who just leaves something when it isn’t working out
– I try to make it work out. I put in all my efforts to understand a situation and try to find a solution to it. I would adjust, sacrifice, compromise and do whatever is necessary just to make a person last in my life. I do not want to lose them – but I don’t expect that they put in the same amount of effort that I’m putting in to make something work. I expect the other person to put in a little effort.
I like to give chances to other people.
There can be mistakes – there can be misunderstandings. People are flawed, So, I keep this belief close to my heart and give away second chances. Even third chances. If you have committed a mistake, then I make sure that you get the benefit of the doubt. Yes, I’m willing to forgive you and work with you to make this relationship last. I’m willing to give everything into it. I’m not going to give up on you that easily. I believe in you.
But my kindness has also become my plague. It has cost me heartbreaks and terrible anguish. It has broken me in ways that I cannot mend. Ever!
Yet, I’m not someone who would change just because I had gone through the worst things in my life. I believe that I have nice qualities. I believe that we all need to fight for what we want to have and we should all fight for what we want to PRESERVE.
So, if I’m in a relationship and I’m fighting hard to keep it alive, please respect it.
Please join in this battle and let us meet in the middle. If we combine our forces then we can make it all work out. I can even put in more effort than I possibly could just to make it last. The only thing I need to know is that you are actually doing something as well on your side.
But if you have been horrible to me, they know this, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO LEAVE YOU. Trust me, I don’t like leaving people and it hurts me more than you could imagine. But, if you have done something that is completely unforgivable, I will leave you. And you will NEVER see me again.
I know I have a big heart and that has brought me a lot of trouble. But I’m not someone who feels like they are worthless. When I work hard for something, it is MY CHOICE and I know why I’m doing it. I’m not doing it just to create some kind of worth for myself. So, know that while you can push your limits with me, I’ll totally try to understand why you are doing so. But, there will be a boundary too. Cross it, and I’m out of your life!
I did not want goodbyes.
I did not want anything like this to happen. But now that it has happened, there is no turning back. Don’t try to guilt me into believing I was wrong. Don’t try to shame me or do any of your psychological manipulations to try and get me back. You cannot judge me anymore. You had your chance – you ruined it. I have tried to fight for you, make it all worth it! But just because I do all the work doesn’t mean that you will walk all over me. Don’t misuse my kindness, because I would not hesitate to become cruel when the time comes. I would not mind sacrificing a relationship for my benefit.
I want to love and I deserve to be loved like any other human being. I need to be respected and I need to be valued.
I will only want people around me who value me as a person and who want to share their stories with my life. But you cannot just call something love or friendship, and use my generosity to achieve whatever twisted motive you have. If you have caused my heart to break – if you have made it difficult for me to live with you, then you have dug your own pit. I did not do it for you, I tried to do everything to stop you, everything to make it all sunshine and roses. But it was too much for you to take or understand.