Leaving a Toxic Relationship:
“It is so hard to leave – until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” – John Green
Realizing that you’re in a toxic relationship is one of the hardest things in life. But that’s how you start healing yourself and take the first step towards a stronger you. Admitting that you’re with someone who doesn’t love you, treat you right and doesn’t deserve you is what will empower you to build a better life for yourself.
When you’re in a bad relationship you feel like that’s where you belong. That’s how relationships feel like. That’s how love feels like. But it doesn’t. You hear everyone else telling you that you should leave them but you just can’t think about leaving this relationship, even if you realize it’s unhealthy.
As you decide to stay a little longer, hoping that he or she might finally change, it takes a toll on your mind, body, heart and soul. It eats away your self esteem and your sense of self-worth. It drains you of your mental energy and makes you doubt yourself.
Am I perfect myself?
Who am I to judge them?
They have their own way of loving me.
If I leave them, will anyone ever want me again?
I am happy with what I have.
I am happy with them.
You lie to yourself. But you need to tell yourself the truth. That you’re worthy. Worthy of love. Worthy of happiness. Worthy of a better life. Worthy of being with a friend and a more loving & caring partner who makes you their top priority. Leaving a toxic relationship is a difficult process but not an impossible one. You need to gulp down an extra large shot of self-love if you want to get through this. Loving yourself is the only way to fight these negative thoughts and get out of a relationship that not fulfilling and utterly toxic.
They don’t deserve you
“I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
One more time. They don’t deserve you. They don’t deserve your love. They don’t deserve your time or all the effort you put in to make this relationship work. You are a beautiful and amazing person. If they are unable to see that, then should they be in your life anymore? If they are with you only when it’s convenient for them or when they are alone or when they need something from you, then do they really love or care about you?
Wake up and smell the coffee.
You are just being used by a toxic person who is keeping you imprisoned in a toxic relationship. Is it even a relationship if only one partner is putting in all the efforts to make it work? Whether it’s a close friendship or a romantic relationship, if it’s one-sided then it’s destined to fail. Despite how hard you try, you know deep in your heart this will never blossom in to a healthy, happy relationship. They will treat you the way you allow them to. If your man or woman is unwilling to step up and show that they care, that they are willing to put in the work required to save this relationship, that they value you then it’s high time that you dump their ass. You deserve a partner. Not someone who is there just to enjoy the privileges.
Staying with a person who doesn’t care, love or respect you is an act of cruelty towards yourself. Love yourself and show yourself some respect, even if they won’t. Scratch that. Show yourself some respect, ESPECIALLY if they won’t.
Leaving is not easy, but it’s doable
“If you are brave enough to say goodbye life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho
You accept that they may never love you the way you love them. You’re fine with the way they treat you. You’re happy that they’re with you and you have them by your side. You tell yourself all relationships go through bad phases. All romantic partners fight and argue. But this not what a loving, caring relationship should be. This is a one-sided relationship. A relationship where only one partner makes all the efforts to make love last. A love that doesn’t even exist there anymore. Something that should have been left a long time ago. You should have moved on a long time ago.