How To End A Relationship Without Hurting Each Other

So, are you giving repeated thoughts as how to put an end to your relationship, without hurting each other? Then this can be of some help.

In my counseling practice, I often hear the question, “How do I end a relationship without hurting someone’s feelings?” Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending it gracefully is generally a challenge.

The problem arises because so many people see it as a reflection of their worth when someone doesn’t want to be with them. “If I was good enough, this person would want to be with me, so there must be something wrong with me.”

There is another way to see this. The way I see it is that for each of us there is a relatively small number of people with whom we feel a deep connection.

Whether you want to explain this as due to being part of the same soul group in the spiritual realm, or to have similar energies, or to chemistry, the fact is that we don’t feel connected to most people.

Just because I don’t feel connected with someone doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. Just because you don’t feel drawn to spend time with someone doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with that person, and just because someone doesn’t connect with you doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

It’s just the way things are, and it has nothing to do with there being anything wrong with anyone.

So if I say to someone, “I don’t feel a strong connection between us,” I am simply stating a fact. I am not making a judgment about the person’s adequacy or worth.

All of us meet perfectly wonderful people with whom we just don’t feel a connection. The person might be very attractive, have similar interests to us, and even be on a similar growth path or spiritual path.

Yet we just don’t connect. The spark that ignites friendship or romance just doesn’t exist. If we could all accept that someone not wanting to be with us has nothing to do with our worth, we would not get hurt when someone says no to a relationship.

I don’t pretend to understand all the factors that create the connection between two people. All I know is that all of us have the experience of connection with another that occurs deeply and rapidly, as well as the experience of a lack of connection.

Many people have had the experience of being fixed up with someone because a friend said, “I just know you two will like each other. You are so similar,” only to discover a complete lack of connection.

Katie, a client of mine, recently said to me, “Everyone said Rick is perfect for me. We look good together, we have similar interests and backgrounds, we are the same religion, we are equal educationally, and he is a really sweet guy. I kept thinking that if I just gave it time, I would feel the connection.

But it never happened. I felt so badly breaking up with him because there is nothing wrong with him, but the connection just isn’t there.”

Dr. Margaret Paulhttp://www.innerbonding.com/
CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages. Dr. Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967. Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world on the phone and on Skype. She is able to access her own and her client's spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public. Margaret Paul, PhD information Anxious, Depressed, Addicted, Empty, Relationship struggles, Inner Bonding - The Power To Heal Yourself! http://www.innerbonding.com
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