8 Questions to Ask Before You End Your Relationship

 / 

8 Questions to Ask Before You End Your Relationship

We begin with eyes wide open. Excitement, promise, and hope make you feel this could be it. The one. The person we just might be spending the rest of our life with. It’s easy to get caught up in the bliss. Little annoyances get ignored. Just being together is enough.

And then, reality sets in. And despite our best intentions, many relationships start to show cracks of not being able to withstand the ups and downs inherent in relationships once the blissful honeymoon stage has come and gone.

As the challenging and complicated times start to swell and take over the good times, we find ourselves focused on the negative. Those annoyances we previously found cute, not so much. Being in this space leaves us feeling sad and drained. We yearn for the days gone by. What happened?

And then we begin to question the relationship. Ourselves.
You are not alone. Many people find themselves at the same place – at the proverbial fork in the road asking themselves, should I stay or should I go? What will be best for me? Why am I in this space of indecision?

Simple questions with no easy answers.

But, before you start to pack up your boxes, change your address, and head for the door, why not take the time to ask yourself some important questions so that whatever you decide in either direction, you do so knowing you did the necessary leg work to put you on a different and healthier path in your life?

After all your decision can (and most likely) will be a game-changer for you. Your pivot. Your tipping point. And seriously, aren’t you worth it? Isn’t your relationship worth it?

So, take a minute. Actually, take several minutes to ask and answer these questions. Because in doing so, they will transform how you think about yourself and your relationship.

The answers will help create greater insight and introspection so that whatever decision you make, you will be assured that you have done right by yourself. You have done the work. You have taken the time (because you are worth it and so is your relationship).

The Important 8 Questions:

1.) What are the strengths of my relationship?

Can I draw on those strengths now and overcome the struggles?

Also, Read 7 Psychological Strategies That Will Make Your Relationship Stronger

2.) What are the factors that I feel are the most difficult to overcome?

Meaning – what are the “weakest links” in my relationship?

3.) What have been 3 or 4 of the happiest times in our relationship?

To answer this question, you need to think about the time together since you have been dating because couples who have strife find it difficult to identify a happy time.

Also, Read Building a Happy Relationship Starts with You and not your partner

4.) What were two of the most difficult times in your relationship that you overcame and why?

How were you able to overcome them? This goes to strengths in your relationship but also helps you to remember the good times and the positives of your relationship.

5.) What are two or three of the values that you and your partner still share in common?

Values are the bedrock of a person. It’s how we live our life. Do you still share the same values and if so, what are they? How will they impact your decision to stay or go?

6.) What would be the biggest loss if you chose to leave the relationship?  

In long-term relationships, couples have invested significant time together. Although that’s not a reason to stay (by itself), time represents history and why it’s important to at the very least give yourself the necessary time to make the best and informed decision.

7.) If I had my “perfect” relationship what would that look like? 

Each person in the relationship must be willing to make individual changes to grow and thrive. It’s the only way couples work through issues so they can get on the other side of them and flourish.

8.) What are two or three changes that I need to make to improve the relationship? 

How likely am I to make these changes? Am I invested in making those changes? Change starts with each person. We must be able to look at ourselves and recognize where we can change, compromise, and demand more from ourselves so ultimately the best version of ourselves shows up. It’s as simple as that.

I recognize that ending a relationship is rarely an easy decision. Heck choosing to stay presents its own challenges, too. However, what I do know is putting the time in at the front end and asking yourself these questions, will help you at the back end. And will ultimately help you make a good, well-informed decision – whatever direction you choose to take.


Written by Kristin M. Davin, Psy.D.
Solution Focused Psychologist & Coach
Originally appeared on KristinDavin.com

8 Questions to Ask Before You End Your Relationship

— Share —

— About the Author —

Response

  1. Mickey Moua Avatar
    Mickey Moua

    I’m tired of this. Why am I the one who has to pay and be stuck when she was unfaithful? Why? I did not do anything wrong.

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How Healthy Relationships Can Improve Your Physical Health

How Healthy Relationships Can Improve Your Physical Health

Healthy relationships are crucial for feeling happy, positive, and also physically healthy. The physical benefits of healthy relationships are a lot, and this article is going to talk about that in detail. Let’s find out the importance of having strong and healthy relationships.

Humans need humans to survive.

It’s no secret that a healthy relationship can bring joy and happiness to your life, but did you know that it can also have a positive impact on your physical health?

From reducing stress levels to boosting your immune system, there are many surprising health benefits to being in a happy partnership. Read on to learn more.

We are social creatures who thrive on strong, healthy relationships with friends, colleagues and family me



Up Next

When You Refuse To Let Go Of Someone You Love, Even When They Don’t Love You Anymore

Why You Should Let Go Of Someone You Love

I get it. You don’t want to let go of someone you love. Even when it’s clear that it’s over. Even when it’s clear that it is time and things will only get worse from here. Yet, you want to hold on just a little longer. But if you truly love someone let them go.

“No! No! It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. It’s working. Listen to me, I know it’s working. This is normal. Show me a relationship that doesn’t have problems. I will make it work. I know I can. Just give me a little time. Just a little more time. Please, just bear with me for a second here. Please. Don’t take it away from me yet. Please. It’s not time. It can’t be. Will you just listen to me once for god’s sake?”

But deep down you know it in your heart. You just know it. It is screaming at you. And even though you may pretend you



Up Next

7 Warning Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship And How to Rediscover Your Sense of Self

Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Are you starting to feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Do you have this persistent feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore? You know, that feeling when you are so caught up in someone else’s world, that you forget who you are? Well, these are just some signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common feeling, and lots of people experience this. If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, then this article can be a godsend for you.

Let’s delve into the all those signs of losing yourself in a relationship, so that you can stop yourself from doing so (at least to some extent!). And not just this, we will also talk about what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship. So, are you ready to explore this? Let’s go then!



Up Next

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Desperately Trying To Hold On To

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Trying To Hold On To

Do you know what happens when you desperately hold on to someone you really need to let go of? When you hold on to the idea of “us” and refuse to see the reality for what it is? You force the person you love the most in the world to hate you. You compel them to resent you. And in this process, you hurt yourself more than the other person did. This is why it’s crucial that we talk about how to let go of someone you don’t want to lose.

No one wants to let go of love

Especially when it’s the real deal. Especially when you’ve been told you are not worthy of love all your life. And this one person comes into your life and completely changes



Up Next

15+ Quotes From “Bridgerton” That Depict Obsessive Yearning

Best Bridgerton Quotes About Love And Romance

If you like romances and things from the Regency era, these Bridgerton quotes show how obsession can be a form of longing. This Netflix series features several love stories in which the characters experience intense desire and emotions.

Through eloquent dialogues and passionate interactions, “Bridgerton” powerfully reveals the aspirations that motivate its characters.

The series effectively frames the relationship between Daphne and Simon as an embodiment of smouldering attraction while at the same time conveying other major figures’ secretly yearning for each other.

Here are some Bridgerton quotes about love that perfectly sum up obsessive yearning.<



Up Next

TikTok’s Ultimate Couples Psychometrics Test: Which Iconic Pair Are You and Your Partner?

Couples Psychometrics Test: Fun Results Of Fictional Couples

Do you want to explore your relationship dynamics in a fun and insightful way? Take this Couples Psychometrics Test, the newest sensation making waves on social media, particularly TikTok!

Forget zodiac signs and typical personality quizzes; this one goes further to study your compatibility with your partner’s and give a famous fictional couple from TV shows or movies as your match.

This is a test attempts to find the perfect on-screen duo for you. It checks out our personalities, styles of communication and other oddities that make us real-life couples.

For those of you who are just wondering about which legendary pair represents your love story in th



Up Next

10 Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

The dating world can sometimes feel like you are on a wild roller coaster ride of emotions, full of exhilarating highs and heart breaking lows. And you might find yourself unknowingly become someone’s rebound. But how do you gauge that? What are the signs you are a rebound, and nothing more?

Being someone’s rebound means being an emotional pit stop for them; it’s like they are taking a short break where they are seeking temporary solace before moving on for good. It’s not a good place to be in, honestly.

Today, we are talking to talk about all those glaring signs you are a rebound, so that it’s easier for you to decide if you want to remain one, or let go and wait for someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve.