How do you know you love someone? Maybe you’re hopelessly attracted to someone and can’t get them off your mind, but how to tell if it’s love or … something else?
Thanks to our popular culture, social media trends, and rom-com flicks and novels, we have developed an idea of love that’s larger-than-life and often far from the truth.
So, the big question here is how can you tell that you love someone for real?
How Do You Know You Love Someone And It’s Not Your Brain Playing Tricks?
We have been made to believe that understanding and falling into true love is awfully easy. Boy meets girl and they just hit it off. We like to believe in the instantaneous nature of true love and this belief is generally supported by our friends and peers.
So, when you ask people how can you tell you love someone, they generally say things like:
“Oh you will just know it when you fall in love”, and “You will feel it in your gut”; are some of the things that you might have heard.
But what if….?
- You’re tired of being lonely for a long time and just want to find love.
- You have struggled with childhood emotional neglect and you’re severely emotionally dysregulated.
- You have codependency issues or unhealthy attachment styles.
- You’re suffering from love addiction or limerence.
- You have romantic obsessions due to magical thinking
How do know you love someone truly and that what you’re feeling is not a need for companionship, validation, or acceptance, stemming from your urge to
- Be one of the happy couples you see on your Insta feed
- Be finally appreciated by someone
- Prove to your parents that you CAN be loved
- End your loneliness
- Just have someone to be with on Valentine’s Day or your birthday
- Fill up the hole in your heart that your unhappy childhood has left
Also Read: 10 Ways To Overcome Childhood Trauma: Grow Beyond Your Childhood Trauma And Reclaim Your Life
In short, how to know if you love someone truly and are just not in love with the idea of love? How do you know you love someone or it’s just a phase?
According to experts, contrary to popular belief, true and sustainable love is often a slow burn. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, and you seldom find it when you’re frantically looking for it.
So, how do you know you love someone or that you have met the ONE? Thankfully, there are several research-backed ways to detangle your overwhelming emotions and know for sure that what you’re feeling is real love!
Based on such studies, along with certain relationship milestones and emotional reactions, we have compiled a list of 30 signs that show up when you love someone truly.
While no two people are the same and love is an utmost abstract concept to even analyze, these are practical ways to know whether you love someone or it’s your brain playing tricks on you!
So, how do u know when you love someone?
Also Read: Reality Check: Debunking Love at First Sight – 4 Mind Tricks Explained
How Do You Know You Love Someone? 30 Signs You Love Someone Truly
Here are the signs that will appear if you love someone truly!
1. They Make You Forget Your Pain
Research shows that thinking about a loved one or seeing their pictures can make people feel relief from pain. Surely love is not the answer to all problems, but when someone makes all your stress, worries, hurt, and disappointments go away, that’s a sign of true love.
2. Your Overall Attitude Becomes More Positive
When you’re high on love, your brain releases a hormone called Oxytocin, also known as the “Love Hormone”. Its main job is to reduce any feelings of distress or sadness and boost your mood.
This not only makes you forget your troubles, as discussed earlier, but it also revamps your whole attitude toward life. You become a more positive person and embrace a cheery outlook regarding things in general. You become more grateful and count your blessings.
3. You Feel Affectionate Toward Them
How do you know you love someone and it’s not only attraction? Your emotions are not limited to hot and heavy imaginations of making out but you also feel profoundly affectionate toward them.
You tend to dot on them a lot; checking in to make sure they had their meals on time, whether they got home okay, and these sorts of worries concerning them linger in your mind.
4. You Are Willing To Fight For Them
Love might make you forget your worries but these worries do not vanish. At the end of the day, you have to sort out your issues and face the challenges of life. And this includes issues related to your connection with your special person.
There can be miscommunication, misunderstanding, or even fights between the two of you, and some days, they might even say or do things that hurt your feelings.
But, you will not want to give up on them, rather give up on your connection. You will fight with them and also fight for them. So, how do you know you love someone truly, and that you’re not just putting up with abusive behavior to avoid your demons?
When you’re ready to look past minor differences and come to a happy compromise, but never jeopardize your own well-being or dignity, it’s a sign of mature and healthy love.
5. You Are Ready To Make Changes For Them
Maybe you were a takeaway and Netflix kind of person before, but your romantic interest is more into hiking and healthy food. You’re now willing to try their way of living and happily make some life adjustments.
Maybe you hated going out on Sunday afternoons, but that’s the only day your person of interest gets off from work; so guess what? You’ll happily agree to go on a late-night drive with them, even if you have an early meeting the next morning.
6. You Are Drawn To Their Smell
When do you know you love someone? Cringe alert! When you get drawn to their smell, and no, we’re not only talking about perfume that reminds you of them but their natural odor.
Even when they haven’t taken a shower, or have just returned from a long walk, you can’t seem to keep your hands off of them. Their pheromones just attract you like crazy!
7. You Make The Most Of Every Situation When With Them
How to tell if you love someone and it’s not just about spending some happy times? When you see the sunshine, even when the sky is grey, you know that you’re in deep love.
Got a flat on your way somewhere? It will make a great dinner story! How you two walked miles, laughing and cracking jokes, looking for assistance, and how you managed to find a mechanic and eventually made it to your destination, will be a shared experience; a memory to cherish.
8. You Learn Their “Love Language”
We all express love differently. According to the theory of love language, we show love in 5 ways:
- Saying words of affirmation
- Spending time with each other
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Gift giving
Maybe you like expressing your affection and care through gifts, but your person is more into spending time together and having deep conversations.
How do you know you love someone seriously? You do not fixate on how you want to be loved, but focus more on how your favorite person needs to be loved. So, you learn their love language and express love their way!
9. You Look At Them In A Special Way
You fondly look at them when they’re sleeping like a baby and you can’t stop yourself from gazing at them several times a day. How do you know you love someone deeply? Your unwavering prolonged eye contact will let you know!
10. You Open Up To New Experiences
You have become a flexible person and find yourself open to new and exciting experiences that were out of your comfort zone earlier.
For instance, you might want to go for a salsa class with your love interest or learn a new language with them, instead of spending your free time lazing on your couch.
How do you know you love someone genuinely? You want to honestly experience life with them and not desire to impress them for a short-term fling.
11. You Include Them In Your Life
You are thinking about introducing them to your family. You are planning to invite them to your next outing. You wonder about their opinion while making a significant life decision.
How do you know you love someone and it’s not a passing phase? You envision your future together and you cannot think about not including them in your life.
12. You Are Not Bothered By Other Suitors
Your hot ex just sent you a DM and you couldn’t care less. When your person of interest doesn’t reply to your texts, your friends keep saying that there is plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re just not interested.
How do you know you love someone and it’s just not your need for attention? When you’re unfazed by other romantic admirers and do not care for getting attention from even the most attractive suitors, you’re in love with someone!
13. You Crave Their Touch
Sometimes we crave someone’s company because we connect with them on an intellectual level. Maybe we like the same type of food, movie, or music, or like to do the same things. But that’s a bond purely platonic in nature.
How to know if you love someone romantically? You’ll crave physical affection from them. You’ll want to be close to them, smell their neck, or kiss them passionately.
You’ll fantasize about being intimate with them. But it will not be only physical closeness. Snuggles and cuddles will be equally important.
14. You Want To Do Things For Them
We have discussed acts of service as a form of love language. After spending a night, if you find yourself making the bed for them in the morning, and not in a “hit it and quit it mode”, it’s serious!
Wanting to do something for them like cooking their favorite dish or taking their dog for a walk will not seem to be a burden. You’ll happily do chores and run errands for them.
15. Everything Starts Reminding You Of Them
You’re taking a stroll in the park and suddenly you spot someone who looks exactly like your person of interest. You hear a romantic song on the radio and their thought pops into your head. When you’re in love, it seems like the entire Universe is reminding you of them.
16. You Miss Them A Lot
How do you know you love someone and just not trying to not be lonely? Time apart from them will make you really miss them and not only when you are alone or sad, but also when you’re happy and surrounded by lots of friends and loved ones.
17. You Develop A Genuine Interest About Them
How do you know you love someone and it’s more than just attraction? You’re keen to know everything about them. It’s just not stalking them on social media, but you will want to know about their childhood, their passion, hobbies, and goals.
18. You Want To Share Everything With Them
You will flood their phone with pictures of your trip from last summer. You will brag about your job recognition. You will also share your pain or grief over a loss or a setback that you would be too proud or embarrassed to talk about with others.
19. Others Will Start Noticing
You won’t be able to stop yourself from talking about them. Your face will be lit up when you get a text from them. You will gush about how he made a cute joke about something. There will be a change in you, and friends and even colleagues will start noticing that.
20. You Enjoy Waiting On Them
How do you know you love someone and it’s just not an attraction? Even when they will be away from you or when they take time to respond to your text, you will not feel jittery.
You know that they are busy with life and they will revert at their earliest convenience. You even enjoy waiting for them.
21. They Are Always On Your Mind
You go to bed and your last thoughts before sleep are about them and you wake up and they’re the first thing you think about.
22. You Feel You Have Become A Teenager Again
You find yourself checking their “last seen” and looking at your phone screen for a message from them. You feel miffed when they forget to send you a goodnight message and you surely do not enjoy seeing them with other women or men, depending on your sexual orientation.
23. You Start Mirroring Them
Unconsciously you start behaving like them. You tend to avoid food that they don’t eat or start habits that are practiced by them.
24. Saying “I Love You” Seems An Instinctive Reaction
It might seem like a no-brainer but saying I Love You seems to be right on the tip of your tongue when you honestly harbor loving feelings for someone, something from deep inside of your heart makes you want to say those three words.
25. You Are Happy Yet Anxious
You feel emotionally secure but also anxious at times. You feel a tinge of jealousy when your romantic interest talks to an attractive person or when they are spending time with other friends.
26. You Want To Be A Better Person
How do you know you love someone and not just crushing on them? You’ll want to be a better human being to be worthy of them. And you will not just do things trying to impress them.
You’ll start taking care of yourself and the people around you. You’ll become more flexible and well-rounded. Love will inspire you to follow the path of self-awareness and self-love. You’ll follow your dreams and focus on your overall well-being, even if you’re in separation from your loved one.
27. You Have Become More Tolerant
As you open up to new experiences in life, you will welcome expansion and growth and push your boundaries. You’ll become more tolerant toward things that used to be off-putting before.
You’ll develop compassion and have an open mind to things that you and your specific person argue on and you’ll try to understand their point of view even if you cannot agree with them. As a result, you’ll become less rigid and more liberal.
Even when you fight with your romantic interest, you’ll be quick to forgive them and never hold a grudge against them.
28. You Love Their Less Desirable Traits Too
The reasons you love someone can be many or there can be no reason at all. But is there any reason good enough not to love someone? Sure, there can be many red flags that you should never ignore. But what about those harmless traits that simply get on your nerves?
How do you know you love someone and not just like them? You’ll love their quirks and even (perceived or real) weaknesses. Maybe they eat their mouth open or they need space every time they feel overwhelmed with stress or emotions. Earlier those traits would be a deal breaker, but now you happily put up with them.
29. Somehow It All Feels Easy
How do you know you love someone? All the things you do for them, all the compromises you make, and all the changes you have to incorporate; everything seems easy somehow, and you’ll not trade any of it for the world.
30. It’s Definitely Worth All The Work You Put In
So, how do you know you love someone for real? All the hard work you put into your connection along with the jealousy, fights, tears you shed, anxiety, and sleepless nights, are all worth it.
And even, if someday you two part ways, you’ll never look back on this experience as a waste of time, but as a beautiful journey that taught you love, and brought you as close to the divine as one can get.
Love And Spirituality: How do you know you love someone from a past life?
How do you know you love someone if you believe in spiritual love? According to some spiritual beliefs, soulmates or twin flames, who are divine counterparts of each other, reincarnate on earth and find each other in every life.
When they meet, there is instant recognition between the two. They also mirror each other’s traits and often witness synchronized signs that confirm the validity of their connection. Moreover, it is their gut feeling or intuition that tells them that they are their soul partner.
While we’re not delving deep into this topic here, the things that should be remembered are:
- When you feel you have found your divine partner, make sure it’s your intuition and not your ego speaking to you
- Don’t blindly follow synchronicities as their meaning sometimes can be difficult to comprehend. Also, synchronicities do appear in cases of a Karmic connection or False Twin Flame.
Also Read: 5 Warning Signs You’ve Met Your False Twin Flame
- If you’re not practicing self-love, or you’re dwelling in a “lack” mentality, feeling sad for yourself, or you’re desperate to find love, chances are you will get misled.
- So, regardless of your spiritual beliefs, to find your true love, you have to love yourself first, detach yourself from the need to find love, and just trust that things will work out for you eventually.
Let Love Find You
Still wondering “How do I know if I love someone“?
Love is neither a quick fix for your problems nor something that should be relentlessly chased. Love is like a butterfly that will come to you when you’re still and calm.
Falling in love and being in a healthy long-term relationship are two different concepts. So, while the initial rush of falling for someone might wane after the honeymoon phase, wholesome and sustainable love will stay. It will endure hardships, ugly fights, and all the challenges of life.
How do you know you love someone? When your feelings stand the test of time, know that you are in love!
We believe that you found useful insights into your relationship through our post on “How Do You Know You Love Someone?” According to your personal view, how do YOU know you love someone and it’s not just attraction? Drop your comments down below!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How to prove you love someone?
Although you should never feel the need to prove your love, you can express your care and affection to make your partner feel loved and secure. You can do this by learning their love language, listening to them, paying them attention, and investing time into your relationship.
Can you love someone and not trust them?
No, love and trust go hand in. If your S.O. deliberately does things to hurt you or if there’s reasonable proof that they’re not faithful to you, you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Also, if you feel you have trust issues, you need to heal yourself before entering a relationship.
Can you love someone you never met?
It is very much possible to love someone you have not met physically. If you two are honest, have excellent communication, and understand each other, distance should not be a factor.
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