Why Emotionally Unavailable Men And Women Sabotage Good Relationships

men and women sabotage good relationships

She’s unconsciously being drawn towards a man who will help her to recreate her own insecurities, limiting beliefs, and help to validate all of those world views (as limiting as they may be). And so they are stuck in this dance. He is unable to commit to her because she’s imperfect and he’s in love with an idea. She is after him because she’s in love with the idea of getting somebody that maybe deep down consciously or even unconsciously, she knows is unable or unwilling to commit to her. Because if she can get him to commit to her, then it proves all of these beliefs, insecurities wrong that she actually is a worthwhile person.

Meanwhile, both of these people also repel emotionally available people around them because emotionally available women do not have the patience to deal with an emotionally unavailable man. They will not put up with the hot and cold and the pullbacks and pull aways. They will not put up with the breadcrumbing. They will not put up with all of this stuff. 

An emotionally available woman will say, “Hey, you seem like you have some issues. I’m going to go and date this good guy over here who is emotionally available.” The emotionally available man will say, “I understand you have some insecurities and beliefs and that’s great but I want to be in a relationship with somebody with who I can actually be in a relationship with. I don’t want to be in a relationship with somebody who I have constantly have to validate, prop up, and reassure that I love her, and she’s good enough.”

The emotionally unavailable unintentionally repel people who actually would want to be in a relationship with them and leave them with other emotionally unavailable people who are willing to put up with their type of emotionally unavailable behavior.

Read: 8 Ways Your Fear and Insecurity Is Sabotaging Your Relationship

This is how we end up dating the same person over and over again in a different body. 

It’s how we bring ourselves to our interactions in our relationships. If you are constantly around emotionally unavailable men, chances are you are an emotionally unavailable woman. If you are constantly around emotionally unavailable women, chances are you are an emotionally unavailable man and you want to stop and check-in with yourself and ask these questions:

“Where am I more attached to the ideal?” 

“Where am I more attached, to the fantasy than what’s real? 

“Where can I work on myself?”

“Where can I work on my own insecurities?”

“Where can I work on my own anxieties?”

“Where can I work on my own limiting beliefs so that I can resolve those and be okay with the person that I am. So I can stop attracting, dating, and stepping into this vortex of emotional unavailability and so that I can actually have a relationship that is emotionally available?”

Once again, if you like what we’re doing here, please give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel if you are not already subscribed. If you want to learn how to improve your own emotional availability, check out our free class over at modernlove.life/class. If you like what you see in the free class, I will invite you to join our other class called The Compatibility Code.

Written by Clay Andrews
Originally appeared on Attract The One
men and women sabotage good relationships pin
Why Emotionally Unavailable Men And Women Sabotage Good Relationships
Pages: 1 2 3
nv-author-image

Attract TheOne

All about love and relationships. Visit us at AttractTheOne.com to find helpful tips about how to make your love life amazingView Author posts