Date nights are powerful things, and can really help you avert a divorce. Yes, you heard that right, date nights can indeed help you have a happier relationship, and protect you from a nasty separation and divorce.
According to resource site Thervo, a divorce in the United States will run at a minimum of about $15,000 and can go up to $100,000 or more. This depends on if things are contested, how long it lasts, and if it goes to trial. I can tell you personally, my divorce cost over $40,000 back in 2013. I was shocked by how the attorney fees quickly added up.
There is never a winner in a divorce. You can add this on top of now having to pay for two households, and if you have kids, you may have to have 2 of everything if they are dividing their time between households.
I can link the demise of my 13-year marriage back to the fact that we stopped dating each other. We moved from being lovers to roommates and business partners. We were in the business of raising two boys. Here’s the kicker, we had onsite childcare. My in-laws lived in our guest house. While we did have date nights, they were relegated to the all too familiar dinner and a movie routine.
Studies have now shown this does nothing for enhancing a relationship. Creating new experiences and memories is what bonds and connects us.
For the sake of your relationship, it’s essential that you have at least 2 dates a month. You each take turns planning a date. One can be a free or low-cost date and the other can be a splurge once a month. Let’s say somewhere between $100 and $300 per date. When you average this out for the year it’s about $2,500 to plan some great date nights to grow and strengthen your relationship. As you can see, this is significantly less expensive than a divorce and a lot more fun.
Let’s get the ball rolling.
If you don’t plan it, it likely won’t happen. Commit to each other and be sure that every month you put it in your calendars. If you can plan it out several months even better, but at the very minimum the beginning of each month you get 2 days penciled in the calendar.
Take Turns Planning
Each month you both will plan a “surprise” date for each other. Remember in the beginning when you would surprise each other all the time? You did it just because, not only on special occasions. After a time it seems to transition into the following…
Its Friday Night
What do you want to do tonight? I don’t know what do you want to do? We could order Chinese and watch TV. Boring, no wonder divorce rates are still at 50+%. You’ve heard of surprise and delight. We do this with our boss or our customers, but our most important relationship just gets the scraps of our time and attention. Always be on the lookout for cool new things you can do to surprise and delight your partner.
Dinner Is NOT A Date
You must eat, and you can eat with anyone. Heck, you can even eat by yourself. Going to lunch or dinner can’t be counted as a date unless it’s a culinary class, food tour, or possibly a unique picnic. Do a fun interactive activity and then you can go to lunch or dinner and guess what? You’ll have something fun to talk about, your experience.
This takes a little work. Use a local tourism magazine or scour the web for unique and fun things to do. Do you find that you’re always doing the same kinds of dates? One client loved comedy and their default date became going to a comedy club for date night. Even though this is an activity, if this is what you do all the time then it loses its luster. When it’s no longer novel it’s not beneficial in improving your romantic partnership.