How Date Nights Can Protect Your Relationship From A Divorce


how date nights can protect your relationship from a divorce

Date nights are powerful things, and can really help you avert a divorce. Yes, you heard that right, date nights can indeed help you have a happier relationship, and protect you from a nasty separation and divorce.

According to resource site Thervo, a divorce in the United States will run at a minimum of about $15,000 and can go up to $100,000 or more. This depends on if things are contested, how long it lasts, and if it goes to trial. I can tell you personally, my divorce cost over $40,000 back in 2013. I was shocked by how the attorney fees quickly added up. 

There is never a winner in a divorce. You can add this on top of now having to pay for two households, and if you have kids, you may have to have 2 of everything if they are dividing their time between households.

I can link the demise of my 13-year marriage back to the fact that we stopped dating each other. We moved from being lovers to roommates and business partners. We were in the business of raising two boys. Here’s the kicker, we had onsite childcare. My in-laws lived in our guest house. While we did have date nights, they were relegated to the all too familiar dinner and a movie routine. 

Studies have now shown this does nothing for enhancing a relationship. Creating new experiences and memories is what bonds and connects us.

For the sake of your relationship, it’s essential that you have at least 2 dates a month. You each take turns planning a date. One can be a free or low-cost date and the other can be a splurge once a month. Let’s say somewhere between $100 and $300 per date. When you average this out for the year it’s about $2,500 to plan some great date nights to grow and strengthen your relationship. As you can see, this is significantly less expensive than a divorce and a lot more fun.

Let’s get the ball rolling.

Related: Date Nights: Date Like You Did In The Beginning and the Passion Won’t End

Schedule It

If you don’t plan it, it likely won’t happen. Commit to each other and be sure that every month you put it in your calendars. If you can plan it out several months even better, but at the very minimum the beginning of each month you get 2 days penciled in the calendar.

Take Turns Planning

Each month you both will plan a “surprise” date for each other. Remember in the beginning when you would surprise each other all the time? You did it just because, not only on special occasions. After a time it seems to transition into the following…

Its Friday Night

What do you want to do tonight? I don’t know what do you want to do? We could order Chinese and watch TV. Boring, no wonder divorce rates are still at 50+%. You’ve heard of surprise and delight. We do this with our boss or our customers, but our most important relationship just gets the scraps of our time and attention. Always be on the lookout for cool new things you can do to surprise and delight your partner.

Dinner Is NOT A Date

You must eat, and you can eat with anyone. Heck, you can even eat by yourself. Going to lunch or dinner can’t be counted as a date unless it’s a culinary class, food tour, or possibly a unique picnic. Do a fun interactive activity and then you can go to lunch or dinner and guess what? You’ll have something fun to talk about, your experience.

This takes a little work. Use a local tourism magazine or scour the web for unique and fun things to do. Do you find that you’re always doing the same kinds of dates? One client loved comedy and their default date became going to a comedy club for date night. Even though this is an activity, if this is what you do all the time then it loses its luster. When it’s no longer novel it’s not beneficial in improving your romantic partnership.

Try rotating date night by categories such as active, artsy, culinary, nature, comedy, musical, and theatre. If you make sure to mix things up, you will never get bored. Do have trouble deciding. Don’t let it become an obligation or stressful but instead make it simple and easy. 

Create a jar of things you want to do or try. Every time you find something cool to do online, in a magazine, or from a friend you jot it down and toss it in your activity jar.  Then you can pull out an idea on demand to make it easy on yourself. You can also find some great date ideas in the Surprise Date Challenge book series.

Related: 11 Indoor Date Night Ideas That Will Pump Up The Romance

No Talking About Boring Things

This includes, but is not limited to anything work or kid-related. At the beginning of your relationship, what did you talk about? Your hopes and dreams? Perhaps your aspirations and places you desired to travel to? If you have a hard time coming up with topics, you can always Google conversation starters or join the Date on Demand Club. It provides you with 6 new conversation questions each month. Something like “What was something you did growing up that seemed normal but now seems really weird?”

The Benefits Of Date Night

1. Boost to Commitment –

Couples who have regular date nights are on average 2 times more committed to their relationship than couples that don’t.

2. Increased Communication –

Regular date nights provide an increased satisfaction in communication by about 3 times.

3. Sexual Satisfaction –

Couples who have regular date nights have better sex lives and more frequent sexual encounters. Did that get your attention?

4. Decrease in Divorce –

Couples who have date nights that are novel and new regularly are less likely to call it quits.

I hope I’ve made it abundantly clear that you can’t afford not to do date night. It’s as essential as oxygen to a relationship. If you desire a beautiful, thriving, and successful relationship, then be sure to keep your date nights on track.

Related: Date The Person Who Is Your Friend First And Someone You Can Love Second

Not to mention having a killer sex life. One of the biggest complaints from clients is that their sex life has dwindled over time. They sometimes aren’t as interested in sex as much as they used to be. The frequency, as well as satisfaction level, has decreased. Adding a surprise date is like foreplay. It adds excitement and anticipation which will do wonders for your libido.

You can thank me later.

Written By Dana Lam   
Originally Appeared On Surprise Date Challenge 
how date nights can protect your relationship from a divorce pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

How To Know If Someone Is Thinking Of You? 10 Psychological Signs

How To Know If Someone Is Thinking Of You? Psychic Signs

Have you ever had that weird feeling that someone is thinking about you, even when they’re not with you? It feels like a whisper in the back of your mind, a subtle but undeniable connection that transcends the physical distance between you two. So then how to know if someone is thinking of you, for sure?

The interesting thing is that, in this curious world of human psychology, there can be many fascinating and psychological signs someone is thinking of you; all you have to do is know what they are.

So, are you ready to do a deep dive into the world of mind-reading (well, sort of). Let’s explore 10 psychological signs someone is thinking of you.


Up Next

6 Minutes To Improve Your Relationship: How To Have Better Communication With Your Partner

Minutes To Improve Your Relationship?

If you are thinking about how to improve your relationship, then you have come to the right place. How to better communicate with your partner? Communication is crucial to building a healthy relationship, and this article is going to talk about that. Let’s explore how to have better communication with your partner.


The three keys to communication are speaking openly, listening empathically, and reflecting back.

We usually skip reflection, so the speaker does not know if they have been heard.

A simple practice of reflection can build this skill.

Does your par

Up Next

6 Key Psychological Truths About Dating Apps

Key Psychological Truths About Dating Apps

Online dating, dating apps, dating sites – all of these things have taken the world by storm and has made dating easier than before. Or has it? This article is going to delve deep into not just the world of online dating and dating sites, but will also talk about the psychological truths about dating apps.

As recently as 15 years ago, internet dating was popularly seen as — to put it delicately — something for losers. Sites like Match, JDate, and eHarmony were in their infancy; the whole idea of finding a partner on the Internet hadn’t really transcended its origins in the personals section of the newspaper.

But with the rise of the smartphone and GPS technology, online dating has lost this stigma and ballooned into a multi-billion-dollar industry. Nowadays, you can treat your cell phone like an all-day singles bar, swiping on Tinder

Up Next

6 Unconventional Relationship Choices That May Seem Weird, But They Do Work

Unconventional Relationship Choices That Actually Work

Unconventional relationship choices, huh? They’re like the hidden gems of the dating world, the rebels of romance, the quirks that keep love alive. Even though traditional relationships have their own appeal and charm, sometimes it’s the unconventional that brings some excitement into our lives.

From open relationships to living apart together, these relationship choices may be frowned upon, but for many people, these are the relationship choices that work the best for them. To each his own, you know.

Such non traditional relationships go against what most people think is normal, however, they show us that l

Up Next

7 Research Backed Relationship Remedies

Research Backed Relationship Remedies

When it comes to dealing with relationship problems, science can prove to be really helpful and can provide you with some substantial research-backed relationship remedies. This article is going to talk about some of the most effective and useful relationship remedies that can make a huge difference to your relationship.

You may think these should go without saying, but in my personal and professional experience, they have not.

7 Research Backed Relationship Remedies

1. Be Quick to Repair Injury

One day, my wife sensed my odd vibe, I didn’t like her asking, and it gr

Up Next

10 Old-School Period Romance Movies To Escape To Another Era

Classic Period Romance Movies Of All Time

Period romance movies are always mysterious. They take viewers on a journey to the past, whisking them away to luxurious settled moments filled with passion and elegance.

The stories never seem to be joyful ones but they do capture the essence of love from different eras. Here, we’ve collected our favorite 10 of the best historical drama movies that we’re sure will captivate you with their timeless charm.

No one ever said love was easy. And I’m almost positive no ever will say it either. But sometimes, we just need to feel something even if its sadness especially when times are tough for us in reality right now…

Whether you’re happy or sad, these ten historical romance movies will give you the escapism you need and deserve. And if that wasn’t enough for you, here’s an

Up Next

What is a Trophy Husband In Today’s Relationship Dynamics?

Signs of a Trophy Husband: Exploring Modern Masculinity

Most of us are aware of the term “trophy wife”. But have you heard about a “trophy husband”? It is a somewhat new term that is a gender-swapped version of the more popular concept of “trophy wife”. 

In today’s evolving society, where gender roles are constantly being redefined, there’s a rising trend of trophy husbands. These men are not only eye-catching companions but also possess qualities that make them desirable partners. 

Today, let us explore this fascinating concept and understand what is a trophy husband,  the signs to look for, why being a trophy husband is exhausting, and the potential issues that can arise in relationships with them.

What is a Trophy Husband?