Many couples tend to lose the spark in their relationships as time passes by, and end up taking each other for granted. If you want to have a passionate, loving, and fulfilling relationship, it is important for both of you to put in efforts to make each other feel special.
The best way to ensure that is by dating and doing date nights just the way you did at the beginning of the relationship, and the passion won’t end.
Date Like You Did in the Beginning and the Passion Won’t End
We are supposed to find love by dating around. All across the globe, different pairs of strangers meet every night at restaurants hoping that the person sitting across from them is “The One.”
Many dates will be awkward enough to signal the server over immediately for the check. Other dates will last for hours. Some couples get lost in the world of sharing their hearts, and when they go on a second and a third date, they put on their best behavior.
The new love birds shop for attractive clothes, exercise more, eat well, and groom themselves. One of them will plan the date by picking the restaurant, the dance class, or making a reservation at a hip speakeasy neither has been to. A lot of work goes into seeing each other again.
And this is something we often forget. Dating is work. It takes an intentional effort. And this effort is created by the desire to impress and please your mate. It is the essence of romance. It is our gestures; the care we put into the way we dress, the places we take our lover, and even the surprises that produce excitement, novelty, and emotional connection.
Date nights are like gasoline to the flames of romance. Yet, 44% of long-lasting couples in America go on one date a year. (1) These couples forget to add wood to the fire to keep the heat burning. And as their relationship goes through time, the fiery passion turns into lonely embers in the night.
“Couples who stop spending a romantic time together lose sexual interest in each other.” – The Normal Bar
The authors of The Normal Bar surveyed 70,0000+ individuals and found that more than 60% of men and women in the United States desire more romance.
Globally speaking, women generally wanted to enhance romance more often than men. But more than one-third of the men said it bothered them a lot that their lover wasn’t more romantic.
When you’re done falling in love, you must learn to stand in love. To wilfully create it. The authors of the Normal Bar propose that Romance is a simple loop that reminds us of this.
“Romance creates desire and desire is expressed romantically.” – The Normal Bar
And romance is created by the desire to be loved by your partner, to impress them, and your desire to love and want them more. This happens in small ways, such as showing admiration for each other and making each other a priority by continuing to court each other.
Dating is so important to long-lasting love that it is two hours out of Dr. Gottman’s Magic Six Hours to Lasting Love. Yes, it’s that big of a deal.
The Ideal Date Night
The vast majority of the Normal Bar couples who are extremely happy intentionally spend alone time together. No kids. No work. Even after partners share a mailbox together, they still “date.”
The research is in: Date night boosts happiness, emotional connection, and intimacy.
Fortunately for you and me, men and women have similar expectations when it comes to the ideal romantic date.