5 Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert


Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert

As an introvert, instantly connecting with anyone can be really tough, and honestly easier said than done. Introverts take time to open up, and even though this is not at all a bad thing, it can sometimes prove to be a disadvantage for them.

“Umm….”. [Silence]. “So….”.

Sound familiar?

Getting stuck in the awkward small talk phase is horrible. It feels like your whole body is cringing. Because of this, forming deep connections with people often feels out of reach.

However, these deep connections are what introverts crave. They help us thrive. You feel like you belong in the world. That you’re seen, supported, understood.

Once you know how to connect with anyone, life is abundant with possibility. Networking events feel less scary. Instead, they are an opportunity to meet interesting people. You feel seen by the supermarket cashier who knows you by name and greets you enthusiastically. The post officer stops to say hi as she goes about her route.

The world feels like a friendlier place.

I’m so excited to welcome our guest blogger, Daisy Simonis, to the Beyond Introversion community. Daisy manages a fantastic website for introverts and her 5 tips for connecting with others can be life-changing for any introvert! Gobble it up… -Steve Friedman

Related: How to Connect Deeply With Almost Anyone In 10 Seconds Flat

Here are 5 ways to connect with anyone, while staying true to your introversion:

1. Cultivate pronoia

Pronoia is the belief that the world is conspiring to bring good things into your life. It’s the complete opposite of paranoia.

Human minds tend to follow this path when forming beliefs:

Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Result.

If you want a different result, you need to go to the start of the sequence.

Changing your thoughts around a situation changes the story you tell yourself. Instead of interpreting something as a problem, it could be exactly the learning curve you need. Or by not getting the result you wanted, it’s a warning sign that something is not quite right in your life.

You can cultivate pronoia for most social situations:

  • Set yourself the challenge of discovering something new. Asking slightly quirky questions is a good way to do this. Instead of “what place do you recommend?”, flip it to “where would you not want to visit again?”.
  • Tell yourself that this is a great opportunity to learn. It’s not every day you hear facts about sea urchins from your conversational partner. Take advantage of this.
  • Assume from the start that you’ll connect with people. You immediately go into new situations feeling positive and hopeful.

We tend to find what we look for. Both with the negatives and the positives!

2. Take advantage of the action bias

The action bias describes our preference to favor action over inaction—even if we don’t know what result we get. Once you’ve taken the first step, the first action, it feels easier to continue. You’re building up momentum.

Think about the last time you went to the gym or worked out. Once you put on your gym clothes and walked out the door, it probably felt logical to go. Otherwise, you would have wasted all that effort getting ready. It’s the “putting on gym clothes” and “walking out the door” actions that need the biggest bursts of energy.

This cycle of taking action works because you are leveraging the “winner effect.” This is the jolt of testosterone your body gets when you experience a win. It boosts your confidence. You feel like you can achieve anything.

Let’s say you’ve been asked to go to a networking event by your manager. You can consciously lean into the winner effect by building up small wins:

1. You booked your spot (if you needed to) = win!

2. You got on a bus or train or your car to go there = win!

3. You signed in with the host = win!

Now your brain is looking for the next win. Oh, that person standing alone? Walk up to them smiling = win!

Related: 7 Signs You Are Spiritually Connected With Someone

3. Search for and call out “me too” moments

Humans are tribal creatures at heart. We trust and like people who are similar to us. We distrust those who are different.

Leverage this by highlighting anything your conversational partner shares that you’ve also had an experience of. These “me too” moments show we are both from the same tribe. We feel a sense of familiarity with the other person and warm up to them quickly. It also creates a sense of rapport naturally.

You can do this by:

  • Asking for someone’s opinion about a situation, then focus on finding similarities between what you agree on and what they’re sharing.
  • Once your conversational partner has shared something, ask “why?”. It encourages people to give you longer answers with more information.
  • Assume that you are likable and that they are enjoying the conversation. If you find social situations daunting, we have a tendency to assume the worst: “they find me boring, I’m boring, I have nothing to share.” Instead, tell yourself that you connect to them as a human being, and focus all your attention on finding areas of similarity.

Once you’ve spotted a “me too” moment and called it out, immediately there is a greater connection.

connect with anyone
5 Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert

4. Assume the other person is as anxious as you

We underestimate how anxious other people are. The World Health Organisation found that almost 300 million of us experience anxiety. That’s a lot of people.

There’s a strong possibility that the person in front of you is feeling a bit nervous. Realizing this increases our compassion towards them. We want to help them feel better.

We can do this by focusing all of our attention on the other person. Because you’re actively looking to learn more about them, you can’t help but start to connect in a meaningful way. Or, you discover that they’re not someone you want to connect with anyway, which gives you the freedom to move on.

By shifting the focus away from yourself, you feel less self-conscious and nervous. The conversation flows.

You’re able to be present at the moment and actively respond to what they’re saying. You begin to pick up on conversational gems and dive into them, such as the fleeting mention of their holiday to Portugal three years ago.

Related: 21 Simple Ways To Build Emotional Connection With Someone

5. Be proactive

Jessica Pan in her wonderful book Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want To Come spoke to a psychologist who makes an excellent point: nobody waves… but everyone waves back.

If you want to have meaningful connections in your life, actively seek them out. Expanding your horizons and stepping out of your comfort zone to meet people in new areas can lead to exciting opportunities.

Set yourself a time limit, say 3 months, and commit to connecting with a core group of people. This is the time to start those art classes you’ve thought about at 4 pm on a Sunday or to volunteer with a charity that’s helping homeless people.

Following what you’re interested in or passionate about is a great way to connect with like-minded people.

Once you’ve started to grow those fragile connections, nourish them by being the friend you always wanted to have. Remember birthdays and send cards. Schedule monthly reminders to message people. Spend an evening writing postcards to everyone you know.

5 Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert
5 Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert

Soon it will feel natural initiating contact. You’ll be the person in charge of your social life.

We like people who we think like us. Dare to be friendly.

Humans are social creatures. Having meaningful connections in your life is fundamental to your happiness. Because introverts tend to take their time forming friendships, try not to put a lot of pressure on yourself. You are doing the best you can, and that’s perfectly okay. The connections will come exactly when they are meant to (and possibly when you least expect them too!).

Written By Steve Friedman
Originally Appeared On Beyond Introversion
Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert pin
5 Ways To Connect With Anyone As An Introvert

— Share —

— About the Author —

Up Next

What Lowers Your Vibration? Understanding Energy And Well-Being

What Lowers Your Vibration? 6 Clear Reasons Of Negativity

What lowers your vibration? Understanding the factors that bring you down can help you raise your vibrational frequency!

In recent years, the concept of high and low vibrations has gained popularity in various holistic and spiritual communities. The idea suggests that everything in the universe, including ourselves, vibrates at a particular frequency.

In this article, we will explore:

What is low vibration?

Factors that can lower your vibration

And provide insights into maintaining a higher state of being.

Up Next

How To Give A Sincere Apology: 11 Steps For Mastering The Art Of Saying Sorry

How To Give A Sincere Apology: 11 Steps For Genuine Amends

We all know that relationships can be tricky. Sometimes, we mess up and hurt the people we care about. But fear not, my friend! There’s a powerful tool in our arsenal that can mend even the most strained relationships: a sincere apology. But, how to give a sincere apology?

A genuine apology has the superpower to heal wounds, rebuild trust, and bring harmony back into our lives. So, buckle up as we dive into the art of how to make a sincere apology.

Get ready for ten practical steps that will guide you through this journey of reconciliation and help you mend those broken bonds.

Up Next

What Is The Best Posture For Meditation Practice? 6 Best Ways To Sit For Meditation

What Is The Best Posture For Meditation Practice? 6 Positions

Are you ready to unlock the secrets of a peaceful mind and a tranquil soul? Discover the power of inner peace with the best posture for meditation. 

From the classic Lotus pose to the grounded Burmese posture, let’s delve into the transformative art of finding your perfect meditation position.

Finding the best posture for meditation practice

In the chaotic  world we live in, finding moments of peace and tranquility is more important than ever. Meditation has emerged as a powerful practice for calming and nourishing our psyche and soul.

Up Next

Finding Light In The Darkness: Top Mental Health Podcasts To Inspire And Support You

Top Mental Health Podcasts For Empowerment And Growth

Navigating a stormy sea of emotions? Are you searching for a lighthouse to show you the way towards mental well-being? Let us explore the top mental health podcasts that will empower and uplift your spirits. 

In this digital era, podcasts have become the lighthouse of hope, offering inspiration and support. It’s time to set sail on a transformative journey! Whether you listen to the best mental health podcasts on Spotify or any other platform, these can undoubtedly empower you to live a healthier and happier life.

Up Next

Sabotaging Your Own Happiness? 7 Signs You Have A Toxic Relationship With Yourself

Do You Have A Toxic Relationship With Yourself: 7 Warning Signs

Are you constantly at war with yourself, struggling to meet your own high standards? It’s time to face the music: you may be in a toxic relationship with yourself.

Learn to break free from this cycle of self-sabotage and start treating yourself with the love and compassion you deserve!

It’s easy to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship with someone else, but what about the relationship we have with ourselves?

Similar to toxic relationships with others, a toxic self relationship can lead to negative effects on your mental health and overall well-being.

It can be challenging to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship with oneself, as they are often subtle and insidious. But it’s time to face the truth and build a better relationship with your

Up Next

How To Identify Your Shadow Self: Discovering Your Hidden Depths In 7 Steps

How To Identify Your Shadow Self? 7 Keys to Self-Discovery

Deep within our very being lies a fascinating and mysterious realm called the shadow self. It’s like that hidden side of ourselves that we don’t often talk about—the part that holds our suppressed emotions, secret desires, and untapped potential.

Think of it as a secret stash of who we truly are, waiting to be discovered and embraced. Now the million-dollar question is how to identify your shadow self.

Up Next

Kama Muta: The Powerful Emotion That Connects Humanity

Kama Muta: The Powerful Emotion That Connects Humanity

Have you ever experienced a moment that left you feeling completely overwhelmed with love, tenderness, and a deep sense of being moved? Well, there’s a term for that: Kama Muta. It’s a fancy-sounding name for a truly profound emotional experience that has captured the attention of psychologists worldwide.

In this article, we’re diving into the fascinating world of Kama Muta, exploring what is Kama Muta, where it comes from, and how it impacts our connections with others.

Get ready to uncover the secrets of this extraordinary emotion, the power of being moved by love, and its potential to transform our r

AI Chatbot Avatar
⚠️ Liza is in training with WMHA and may not always provide the most accurate information.