Why You Should Always Choose Yourself First


choose yourself first

When you choose yourself and honor yourself, it is one of the best and most beautiful things you can do for your mind and soul. Thinking about whether others will do that for you will only drain your emotional energy, and disturb your mental peace. So, always choose yourself first.

“Sweetheart, marry your goals. Remain committed to success. Be loyal to your dreams. It’s okay to choose yourself.” – r.h. Sin

Ultimately, you are the only one who can give yourself the feeling of feeling special. But what does that process actually look like?

It looks like you choosing yourself and honoring yourself in every situation.

It means that when you aren’t treated or supported how you believe you deserve, then you:

1. Use your voice.

2. Stand your ground.

3. Give it to yourself.

Using your voice means relaying your truth or the truth in your heart to another.

Related: 10 Things That Happen When You Finally Pull Yourself Together

If you betray your truth, you betray yourself. Betraying your truth is equivalent to you not choosing yourself and not honoring where you are and what you feel.

If you pretend your feelings aren’t there or if you push those feelings away, that isn’t self-honoring energy.

As a result, you will be LESS connected to your heart, to your truth, and to the voice of your soul.

For this reason, reconditioning your reasons for using your voice is imperative for your success in honoring and choosing yourself. See yourself as your own child, the one person in the world whose sole priority it is to protect. Protect her. Don’t let her down. Stick up for her. You are all she has. She needs you.

Standing your ground means holding the other person accountable for their word, but holding yourself accountable even if they aren’t.

For example, if your partner betrays you, you can blame them. You can show them your pain. But only YOU are responsible for picking up all those pieces and deciding what’s best for you on your own journey forward.

If that means walking away because you believe you deserve better, then yelling at your partner for your own conclusions about your own self and your own life doesn’t actually do anyone justice.

Let karma go after the partner and instead focus all that energy back on yourself.

Choose yourself
Choose yourself

This is how you show up for you.

If you deserve better, the partner that couldn’t meet your expectations isn’t going to give the feeling of “you deserving better” to you. They may offer you an explanation or reassurance. Yet ultimately, you are the only one in that scenario who can offer yourself the feeling of being special by doing what’s most self-honoring for you and standing your ground on that.

Giving yourself the feeling of being special or deserving or loved comes only from you first.

This is true about any feeling.

People are and only ever will be just reflections that show up to show you where you are.

They will either reflect your darkness or reflect your light, reflect your pain or healing, reflect your purpose or blocks, reflect your path of greatest potential or your path of fear.

Few can reflect all of the above. Those who can reflect all of you to yourself are very rare, but especially divine.

However, all mirrors you meet serve you.

If they evolved and are doing the work too, they can mirror back all the self-honoring choices you’ve already been making for yourself and be able to give that back to you.

Some can prepare you for the choice you’ll eventually make in choosing and honoring yourself. Others can hold space for you to make that choice. Or they can force you to make that choice by making it so bad for you that it prevents you from choosing anything else but you.

You choosing you and honoring you will be the choice we all eventually make in either this life or a next.

But, lastly and most importantly to note: The Universe itself will always mirror back all of your choices in the form of experiences.

Related: 21 Things That Change When You Start Respecting Yourself


This means if you keep honoring you and choosing you and protecting you, the Universe will literally send you a mirrored experience to show you where you are, what you’ve been up to, and how well you’ve done.

The exact opposite is true too.

Notice what you choose. Keep choosing you.

Nothing creates a more solid you than the you who only chooses you.

Written By Sara Shermis
Originally Appeared In Thought Catalog
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