Let me ask you a question. Do you guys have nicknames for each other that could put your future children to shame? If yes, then welcome, this article is for you. Don’t find this offending as this could mean you really need to change and these cliche couple habits you guys seriously need to drop. You may not realize this now, but Those Are Annoying.
Okay, I get it. You’re excited and in love. You’re also making everyone else around you gag.
Look, I know love is grand. And, if it’s your first time falling in love or it’s been an eon since you’ve met someone you actually wanted to see again– I get it. You want to share. You’re excited– and I’m excited for you.
These days, sharing every monotonous second of your new relationship is much easier than it used to be. You can Instagram your morning coffee together. You can post 4,627 photo memes about “finally meeting the one.” You can share EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.
And… I’m saying this because I care about you. I want you to still have friends. I want the world to still enjoy your unique gifts.
So, if you’ve just fallen in love, or really, really big LIKE– quit doing this crap, immediately. If you want to avoid being totally obnoxious and actually still have friends who can tolerate you, here are the cheesy new couple habits that you need to stop doing ASAP.
7 cheesy new couple habits to STOP immediately!
1. You Ditch Your People
You take “only having eyes for each other” to a new extreme by rarely seeing your friends and family. If your people are starting to say things like, “how are you? We never see you anymore.” it’s a strong sign that you’re ditching everyone to hang out with captain wonderful.
Whether you end up at the altar or weeping uncontrollably into a beer, at the very least you’re going to need shoulders to cry on and/or bridesmaids and groomsmen in the future. So keep up with your OTHER relationships. Many a friendship has been lost because someone ditched all their friends for their new relationship.
Don’t be that person. After your breakup, you don’t want to have to deal with the fact that your friends have moved on too.
2. You Ramble On and On About Your New Flame
When you do come up for air and see your friends and family, it’s cool to dish a bit about how excited you are. Your people should be happy for you. However, don’t overshare and ramble on and on about how amazing Sally is and how you knew you were going to marry her the second you locked eyes over your fettuccine Alfredo during your first date at The Olive Garden.
Don’t be the person who won’t shut up about your flame to the point that everyone around you wishes that you would go back to being incommunicado. Let other people get a word in. You care about them too, remember?
3. You Overshare on Social Media
This is really the new age version of rambling on about your new flame. It’s worth mentioning since there has been a significant backlash against couples oversharing on social media— and for good reason— it’s damn annoying when people post every nauseating detail of their relationships complete with 264 gooey selfies.
Some of the most shared images and articles in the relationship genre lately have all been about people oversharing because everyone else thinks you should get a room. As a guideline, a cute comment or photo every once in a while is okay, but think before you post. If in doubt, CUT IT OUT.
4. You Constantly Take Obtrusive Selfies With Your Beloved
Once in a while, selfies together are cute. However, when you’re reaching over your friends, ignoring the waiter, and generally blocking public walkways, you’re seriously, completely overdoing it.
5. Your Love Is So Deep and Profound That No One Else Could Possibly Understand
Yes, you’re in love and this person is new to you. And that’s great. The thing is, when you talk about your relationship like it’s the greatest, most profound love the world has ever known, it comes off like you’re trying to beat everyone around you with your superior relationship. Other people can fathom how happy you are. Don’t act like they don’t get it.
Related is comparing your new love to the established relationships of your friends, ESPECIALLY when they come to you asking for advice. Even though right now things are beyond fantastically great, eventually your special love flower might hit the rocks and you might want advice so keep the superiority to an absolute minimum. If you absolutely must feel superior, keep it to yourself.
6. Excessive PDA
Do I really have to put this on the list? I feel like people should already know that sticking your tongue down your new flame’s throat in public is obnoxious. And yet, I’ve been party to it RECENTLY and I consider myself a full-fledged grownup (sort-of… most of the time).
7. You Refuse to Go Anywhere Separately from Snookums
Don’t automatically assume that your +1 is invited to everything that you are. This is fine when you aren’t involving other people— but you’re seriously crossing the line when you can’t come to girl’s night unless you bring Barry from accounting.
It’s okay to ask, but keep in mind that other people might want to just see you. Don’t throw a tantrum when you can’t bring Bridgett who you’ve known for a whole two months to your bestie’s wedding. Be cool.
Plus, if you insist on bringing them everywhere with you, then you never get the chance to annoy us by talking about them too much. See numbers 2 and 3 above.
If you liked this or found it humorous, please rage-share it on Facebook as a public service announcement to the hopelessly smitten romantics making you gag out there (c’mon, we all know you know someone).
Hit that share button right now… You know you want to.
Written by Elizabeth Stone Originally appeared in Attract The One