11 Behaviors That Keep You Single Forever

Single Forever 2

Some people stay single because they choose to be, while others canโ€™t seem to have any luck in romantic relationships. Whatever your choices are, there are some behaviors of yours that can be sabotaging your chances of getting a date.

Check out these behavioral patterns if those are actually ensuring that you remain single forever in your life.

Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work. At the same time, no one makes it a goal to be single forever.

We all wantย love; we all want a partner to share our lives with. Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesnโ€™t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.

Being single isnโ€™t a curse and being in a relationship isnโ€™t a cure-all. No matter what stage youโ€™re in, itโ€™s important to take a personal inventoryโ€”to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you.

Itโ€™s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping appโ€”finding a truly amazing,ย healthy relationshipย is much more about being ready for such a relationship. Itโ€™s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.

I have written many articles on how to get the relationship you want. There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem.

And with that, here are eleven ways to stay single forever:

1. Donโ€™t ever learn from your mistakes.

If you donโ€™t learn from your mistakes, you are bound to keep making them (this was the story of my life for many years!).

If you find that you keep ending up in the exact same situations over and over again, itโ€™s time to do some reflecting and consider why itโ€™s happening, and what is leading you to this place.

For example, if you keep ending up in pseudo-relationships with guys who act like your boyfriend but wonโ€™t call you their girlfriend โ€ฆtry to uncover why you seem to only be drawn to the emotionally unavailable type.

Or maybe every guy you date ends up cheating on you. Iโ€™m not saying this is your fault but look at the types of guys youโ€™re drawn to and ask yourself why and what these guys have in common.

Take a look at your patterns and see if you can rewire some default settings.

mistakes

2. Blame your singleness on the fact that there are no good men left.

It is statistically impossible for every โ€œnormalโ€ guy on the planet to be unavailable. Itโ€™s not that all the good guys are taken, itโ€™s that maybe youโ€™re so busyย chasing the wrong guysย and thinking they can give you what you want that you canโ€™t see and appreciate all the good ones that come your way.

Again, it comes down to identifying your patterns and who you choose to date.

Read 5 Things To Know About Surviving a Break Up

3. Have unrealistic standards

We all have certain criteria when it comes to a partner; some of these can be valid and others border on ridiculous.

We donโ€™t know ourselves as much as we think we do and oftentimes what we think we want is not the same as what we actually need. When I was single, if you asked me to describe my ideal guy the answer would be exactly the opposite of who I ended up marrying and I realized that marrying that type of guy would have been a disaster.

Youโ€™ll be surprised at what can happen when you stop assessing if he has all the qualities you want and instead try to connect to him as a person.

4. Donโ€™t trust how he feels about youโ€”assume heโ€™s going to dump you, he wonโ€™t call you back, he wonโ€™t commit, etc.

If you convince yourself bad things are going to happenโ€ฆthen you increase the likelihood that something bad will in fact happens. Being paranoid about how a guy feels creates a vibe and energy that can turn this fear into a reality.

Itโ€™s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you fear something, the more you create an environment where the thing you fear is likely to occur. For example, if youโ€™re worried a guy is going to dump you orย lose interest you may act nervous and stressed around him, you may even act needy and desperate, constantly seeking his reassurance that he wonโ€™t leave you.

As a result, it just doesnโ€™t feel good to be around you. Something just feels off. He canโ€™t really connect with you because youโ€™re not there. Youโ€™re busy interacting with the worried thoughts in your head rather than the person in front of you and eventually things fizzle out and heโ€™s gone, bringing your greatest fear into fruition.

5. Overanalyze everything.

Analyze his texts, the things he said, his posture, the language he used. When you overanalyze, you arenโ€™t being present or authentic. Youโ€™re in strategy mode and no matter how stealth you think you are, a guy can always pick up on this energy and itโ€™s off-putting.

Instead of being on constant alert and trying to figure out exactly where he stands, maybe ask yourself why you feel you need to date so defensively. What are you trying to protect and how can you release whatever fear is driving you?

Read 13 Signs You May Be Wasting Your Life

6. Donโ€™t take care of yourself and try to look your best.

Itโ€™s been said many times and in many ways โ€ฆ men are visual creatures and physical attraction is extremely important. Not taking care of yourself is one of the behaviors that keep you single forever.

Attraction works differently for men and women. A woman can develop an attraction to a man because of his internal qualities. Men also need to be attracted to a woman on an emotional and intellectual level, but they will never get there if there isnโ€™t already a strong and established physical attraction.

You shouldnโ€™t take care of yourself just to get or keep a man. Do it because it will make you feel good about yourself, which opens the door for many good things in life aside from a relationship.

7. Donโ€™t deal with your issues.ย 

Most of us have been hurt in the past, be it a painful childhood or a painful breakup. Itโ€™s important to remember that issues donโ€™t resolve themselvesโ€”youย have to put forth some effort.ย ย Itโ€™s a myth that time heals- time does nothing unless you do the work. You donโ€™t wake up one day all whole and healed.ย 

Being in a happy, healthy relationship entails being your best self. You can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside, so if you donโ€™t make self-love your focus, you will never experience the joys of true love (this applies whether youโ€™re in a relationship or not) and remain single forever.

Read Osho on the Concept of Love and Self Love โ€“ some of his deepest Teachings

8. Settle for โ€œmeantimeโ€ relationships.

ย If you are at the stage in life where youโ€™re ready to settle down and find a lasting relationship, donโ€™t date guys who clearly are not in the same place! Itโ€™s pretty obvious when a guy isnโ€™t serious; youย knowย the signs, but you just ignore them because, well, heโ€™s just so cute and whatโ€™s the harm in having a little fling at least to pass the time until someone else comes along โ€ฆ

The harm is this is usually where you end up getting hurt because the more time you spend with him, the more your emotions take hold and drown out your objective reasoning, the part of you thatย knowsย it would never work out long-term with this guy. If you want a certain kind of relationship, then date guys who want the same thing. Itโ€™s so obvious, yet somehow not.

9. Panic over the prospect of being single forever.

Sometimes the panic and anxiety oozing out of my single friends are so palpable I almost feel like I need a Xanax. Worrying about ending up alone gets you nowhere, the same way that worrying about what to eat for lunch doesnโ€™t magically make a sandwich appear before you.

Worrying can feel like itโ€™s serving a purpose, but itโ€™s not. Instead, just keep it cool and calm, have faith that you will get the love you want when the time is right, and try to just find happiness on your own until you get there.

10. You have low self-esteem.

What keeps us in bad relationships is low self-esteem- deep down you donโ€™t believe you deserve better or that youโ€™ll find someone better. You also donโ€™t have a strong sense of self so his opinion is everything to you. This is the perfect breeding ground for neediness which is an absolute relationship killer.

If you donโ€™t love yourself, you also wonโ€™t be able to believe someone else can love you, so you wonโ€™t ever fully trust it even if a great guy does come along. How can you really believe it if you donโ€™t love yourself? Youโ€™ll be looking for the other shoe to drop and you might sabotage the relationship.

Read 10 Ways Low Self-Esteem Affects Women In Relationships

11. You donโ€™t even try.

You are not going to find love but staying locked away and wondering where all the great guys are. Yes, the apps are annoying, and going out meeting new people is annoying and asking your friends if they know anyone for you is annoying, but you have to put some effort into it.

You have to put yourself out there. And ask your married and couples up friends who they know! Donโ€™t assume people are thinking of you. Anytime one of my single friends asks me if I know anyone, I suddenly realize that I actually do!

You have to make some effort to put yourself out there instead of moaning and complaining over how annoying it is to put the effort in.

behavior keep single forever infographic

I hope this article helped you better understand the behaviors that may be keeping you single forever.


Written by: Sabrina Alexis
Originally appeared on: A New Mode
Republished with permission
.
Follow Sabrina onย Instagram and subscribe to her YouTube channel ย https://www.youtube.com/anewmodechannel
behavior keep single forever pin
Single Forever Pin

— Share —

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How to Stop Oversharing: 8 Easy Tricks for Staying Mysterious

How to Stop Oversharing: Hacks for Keeping Your Secrets Safe

Weโ€™ve all been there. Youโ€™re chatting away, telling a friend about your crazy weekend, and thenโ€”oopsโ€”you realize you just dropped way too much personal info. Youโ€™ve probably overshared more times than youโ€™d like to admit. Now you are thinking, how to stop oversharing?

Whether youโ€™re spilling the beans at work or on a first date, we are going to talk about learning the art of self control, signs you are oversharing, and most importantly, how to stop oversharing.

So, are you ready to stop overloading people with TMI? Letโ€™s dive in!

Related:

Up Next

How to Read a Person Like a Book: 10 Simple Techniques

How To Instantly Read a Person Like a Pro: Clever Hacks

Have you ever wished you could easily read a person the moment you meet them? Whether itโ€™s for work, friendships, or relationships, being able to understand someone quickly can be a real game-changer.

The art of reading people isnโ€™t some magical superpowerโ€”itโ€™s a skill you can develop by paying attention to subtle cues. People give off signals through body language, tone, and behavior.

Once you know what to look for, youโ€™ll start seeing patterns in how they think and feel. Let’s explore ten easy hacks that will help you master the art of reading people.

Related: Power-

Up Next

Caught in the Void: 10 Signs of an Existential Crisis and How to Cope

Signs of an Existential Crisis and How to Cope

Have you ever had a moment where life just doesnโ€™t feel like it fits anymore? When the things that used to excite you now feel like empty rituals, and the world itself seems to have lost its color? Maybe you are going through an existential crisis.

Itโ€™s a sensation that creeps in quietly, yet hits you with a force that shakes the very core of your being. Everything you thought you knew about yourself, your purpose, and the world starts to unravel.

You begin to wonder, โ€œWhatโ€™s really going on here?โ€ If this sounds all too familiar, you may be in the midst of a profound internal shift.

Let’s explore what is an existential crisis, itโ€™s signs and the best ways when it comes to dealing with existential crisis.

Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs Trapped by False Hope And Unrealistic Dreams

Zodiac Signs Trapped by False Hope Unrealistic Dreams

Weโ€™ve all been there, holding on to a dream or expectation long after itโ€™s clear it wonโ€™t come true. Sometimes, that glimmer of hope is hard to let go of, even when reality is staring us in the face. Below are 5 zodiac signs trapped by false hope, prone to clinging to unrealistic dreams.

These zodiac signs often find themselves stuck, waiting for something that might never happen. They are the ones who hold on to unrealistic dreams or expectations, even when they know deep down that the odds are slim.

Up Next

Things People Learn Too Late In Life: 7 Eye-Opening Life Lessons

Things People Learn Too Late in Life Eye Opening Life Lessons

Life is full of unexpected events and sometimes there are things people learn too late. Though some lessons come with age and experience, as time goes by, we often wish we had known some important truths sooner.

These moments of truth can be very shocking as well as transformative, they help us live authentically, appreciate what truly matters, and make the most of our time. Below are seven crucial life lessons people learn too late and can still change the way they approach life.

7 Things People Learn Too Late In

Up Next

Anger and Emotions: What’s Really Setting Us Off?

Anger and Emotion Whats Really Setting Us Off

Ever wonder whatโ€™s really fueling your anger and emotions? Discover how a mindful approach can help you regain inner peace in your life!

Taking a mindful approach to exploring why we are angry.

Key points

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Anger is a warning sign that lets us know there is an issue to address.

Knowing what we are feeling will help us to address the source of our anger.

Anger can hit us when we least expect it. There are some people who get angry and not know what they are angry about. The

Up Next

Master Your Mind: 8 Subtle Clues Extraverted Intuition Is At Work

Is Extraverted Intuition Guiding You Subtle Clues

If youโ€™ve ever wondered how extraverted intuition works or if you might have it yourself, youโ€™re in the right place. Extraverted intuition (often abbreviated as Ne) is a personality trait that shows up as a knack for spotting connections, exploring ideas, and picking up on possibilities others might overlook.

Itโ€™s like a mental compass, pointing toward new insights, and itโ€™s often subtle but powerful.

Weโ€™re going to look at 8 little-known extraverted intuition signs is at play, helping you spot and harness this amazing skill set in your everyday life.

Let’s first start with what is extraverted intuition.

Related: