2. Childhood Loneliness.
Often, children feel emotionally abandoned when their guardians or relatives don’t pay enough attention. It can also happen that a child has been pampered to the extent that they can no longer live without constant attention even after they’ve grown up.
These two polar opposite circumstances give rise to the same problem. A chronic hunger for attention. Whether it be abandonment, difficulty in communication, or spoiled pampering, it eventually creates an appetite for more and more attention.
3. Peer Pressure.
Be it at work or social gatherings, we’re almost always surrounded by peers. Now, these people can influence our subconscious depending on how we position ourselves in front of them.
When we find our peers getting more attention than us, we tend to get envious and subconsciously start desiring the same level of attention for ourselves. Prolonged exposure to such emotions creates an addictive instinct that drives us to become the center of attraction.
How does attention seeking behavior affect you?
1. If you are the victim, it creates psychological unease.
Both in terms of emotion and psyche, there arises a sense of unease when interacting with an attention seeker. The listener might not realize it, but he/she has already been infected by the toxicity emanating from the attention seeker.
All of a sudden, you’ll feel used and manipulated in front of an attention seeker. They would take you to and fro from being lured to being neglected. You’ll feel as if you’re drawn close to them whenever they’re in need of attention and then pushed away in the very next moment. This creates psychological unease for the victim.
2. If you are the attention seeker, it affects your energy level and social image.
The seekers themselves have to expend a lot of energy to gain the absurd level of attention. This results in emotional exhaustion, often followed by frustration and desperation. This in turn steals all the productivity and precious time which they could have used for better pursuits.
Also, people are not fools. Sooner or later, they realize what the seeker is up to, and start talking behind their back. They make fun of him/her and look down upon them, thus tarnishing their social reputation.
How to deal with it?
1. If you are the victim, play tactful.
While it’s decency to respond to someone, attention seekers however don’t deserve that, at least the most of it. When you find them getting desperate for attention, what you can do is, give a delayed response.
Continue this, and watch them slowly fade away from your life. Because your repeated delayed response would indirectly convey that you’re not available for them and that they are not the center of the universe. When already engaged in a conversation, try to maintain some distance by addressing others in the gathering and not them.
In this way, you can keep away from the attention seeker.
2. If you’re the seeker, work on your psyche.
If you’re reading this, and happen to be one of the attention seekers, don’t get upset. There’s always a solution to everything. Just recall the above-mentioned traits of an attention seeker and identify which one best describes your situation. Once identified, start working on it.
As mentioned earlier, attention seeking arises from an instinct rooted deep in our subconscious, and only their careful amendment can bring about changes in your psyche, thus making you a better person with time. You have to understand the difference between socializing and attention seeking, and eventually work on your problem.
So you see, there’s no single cause behind attention seeking behavior. With rapid commercialization, our society has been exposed to all forms of materialism that make us prone to negative emotions like this. We have to be aware of our instincts and determine if it is leading us to the right direction.