He’s Not The Sun, You Are

 / 

He's Not The Sun, You Are

“He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are.”

On paper, he’s everything you could want or everything you think you want. Handsome. Successful. Charismatic. Deep. He makes you feel something different. He makes you feel sometimes like you’re the only one he cares about. He might say all the right things. Maybe you’re already so emotionally invested in this thing you can’t imagine looking back. You’ve invested both your time and heart into this. You think wow he’s everything I want in a person.

 

You’ve put him on this pedestal but at the expense of raising him higher, you’ve lowered yourself.

You see value in who you are, only in those moments where he is the one praising you. And then in that moment where things aren’t perfect and he backtracks, you think it’s because of you. You think so highly of him that it’s you that has messed up or done something wrong.

Related: 10 Tips To Let Go and Free Yourself Of Your Painful Past

What you fail to realize is you aren’t at fault. This has nothing to do with you. Because you are the one who is all these things. You’re beautiful and of value and worthy of the type of love that doesn’t make you feel defeated. You deserve someone who isn’t this figment of your imagination but the real thing. He’s not the sun. You are
You deserve someone who adores you as much as you adore him. You deserve someone who is going to make you their world just as you think this guy is your world.

 

Real love isn’t picking you apart and giving bits and pieces of you to make someone else feel whole and complete. Because I think that’s what this guy is doing to you. I think he’s using you to make himself feel whole. He’s using you emotionally and physically to fill a little bit of a void he has in his own life.

Darling, I know you think he’s perfect. I know you think the world of him. I know you can’t imagine your life without him a part of it. But he’s not the sun. You are.



He is Not The Sun

But you shouldn’t associate or love someone who allows your light to dim just to make themselves seem brighter.

 

Because that isn’t loving and it isn’t healthy.

I know there are moments where he makes you really happy and in the bad times, that’s what you hold onto. The good times are what make you tolerate it. But the good times and his good moments shouldn’t be so far and few between. It is good and bad for everyone but you’re blinded by who he really is because of who you want him to be. You want him to be this person he isn’t. But he’s not the sun. You are.

Related: 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion

 

I see it. Everyone sees it but you don’t. You don’t see his true colors and you don’t see yours either. Because if you saw yourself the way I do and you saw yourself for how beautiful you actually were, you wouldn’t tolerate this bullshit and that’s what this is, it’s complete bullshit. How he treats you is complete bullshit.
He’s not the sun.

The fact that you cry is complete bullshit. The fact he makes you feel inadequate is bullshit and I know part of you is tired of it too. I am so tired of it as well. I’m tired of hearing that you are settling and not getting what you deserve. Because you are so much better than him. You are so much better than this. You deserve so much more.

 

I’ll always stand by you and support any decision you make when it comes to your relationships. But it’s hurting my heart to see yours break because of someone who doesn’t see your value.

 

I love you and I know it and I know part of you knows it too that you deserve more than this.

Because he’s not the sun. You are.

 

Related video:




Written by Kirsten Corley. For more of Kirsten’s work, follow her Facebook fan page.

He's Not The Sun, You Are

He's Not The Sun, You Are
He’S Not The Sun, You Are

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Tanya Sharma Avatar
    Tanya Sharma

    Absolutely ‘gorgeous’ piece! Amazing people like ourselves must not depend on someone’s (rather anyone’s) approval to feel worthy. We will dissolve and evolve on our own and stand at par with the divinity.

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Body Positivity or Body Neutrality: Which One Actually Benefits You More?

Body Positivity or Body Neutrality: Which Benefits You More?

Have you ever wondered if body positivity or body neutrality is better for your well-being? Both mindsets offer unique benefits, but which one truly suits you? Let’s explore the differences and find out what might work best for you.

KEY POINTS

Today’s body positivity often emphasizes external appearance.

Body neutrality focuses on appreciating what your body does and caring for it, not loving or even liking it.

Positive body image is a holistic approach that includes body appreciation and rejects appearance ideals.

Body positivity came from the

Up Next

Give Your Mom A Break: 5 Ways To Pamper Her This National Lazy Mom’s Day

Give Mom A Break: Ways To Pamper Her This Lazy Mom's Day

Motherhood is a full-time job—it doesn’t come with instructions, or punches to clock in and out. From managing household chores to juggling work and family life, moms are often on the go, tirelessly working to keep everything running smoothly. So once in a while, we need to give mom a break!

National Lazy Mom’s Day is the perfect opportunity to show the moms in our lives just how much they deserve a little downtime.

So without further ado, let’s dive into why giving mom a break is essential and how we can make National Lazy Moms Day a day she’ll truly enjoy.

Up Next

The Truth Behind 9 Common Inner Peace Misconceptions

Myths That Are Holding You Back From Finding Inner Peace

We all crave peace of mind, that feeling of calm and clarity where everything just feels right. For some, it’s something that comes naturally, almost effortlessly. But for many of us, it can feel elusive, like we’re constantly chasing it but never quite reaching it. Whether it’s stress, overthinking, or the pressures of daily life, finding inner peace can be a real challenge. But it’s something worth striving for, because when we do find it, everything else in life seems to fall into place.

In this article, we will go over some common misconceptions that might be holding you back from achieving the peace of mind you so very desire.

9 Misconceptions That Are Holding You Back From Finding Inner Peace

Up Next

What is Malignant Self-Love? Know the Traits to Avoid It

Malignant Self-Love: Powerful Traits to Identify Toxicity

Ever met someone who seems to think the world revolves around them? That’s what we call “malignant self-love.” It’s when a person becomes so self-centered that they overlook the feelings and needs of others.

For instance, think about a person who always needs to be the center of attention or has to get their way, regardless of how it affects others around them. Identifying these behaviors can be life-saving.

Knowing what signs to look for will help us avoid falling into this egotistical mindset ourselves and promote healthier relationships with other people too. Here are some of the signs and traits to recognize malignant or narcissistic self-love.

What is Malignant Self-Love?

Up Next

Dating As A Single Parent: 5 Helpful Tips To Restart Your Romantic Life!

Dating As A Single Parent: Helpful Tips You Should Know!

One thing that I have learned is that when you are dating as a single parent, it pays to be open and honest.

Not only does dating as a single parent provide an opportunity for me as a single mother to grow, but also for my child. It gives me the chance to show them what a healthy marriage is really about.

You have too much on your plate if you are a single parent. From taking your child to school to looking after their physical and mental health. We have so much stuff going on and barely any time at all for ourselves, let alone dating as a single parent!

Some important things I have learned as I try to find my groove in my social and dating life as a parent include these ones which could play out greatly in your romantic and dating life.

These helpful t

Up Next

2 Simple Secrets To Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself

Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself: Simple Secrets

Do you know how important your relationship with yourself is? It’s the foundation for everything in your life! Today we are going to talk about how to have a healthy relationship with yourself, and two simple things that can help you do that in the best way possible.

The thought of adding or removing a habit from your routine can be overwhelming. Does your mind have a tendency to create roadblocks or distractions? Perhaps it tries to slyly convince you that the efforts involved in making a change are just too daunting or simply not worth it.

You, like many, may hide under the excuse of not having the time necessary to make an adjustment or add something new.

In our fast-paced, always-connected world, there is a relentless pull to be ‘on’ all the time—responding to messages, keeping up

Up Next

25 Self-Love Affirmations to Pick Yourself Up On Bad Days

Powerful Self-Love Affirmations

We always tell our dear ones how much we love them or make them feel good. But how often do we show love to ourselves? If you want to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself, then below are some self-love affirmations for you!

It is important to love yourself as it has a positive impact on not just your psychological health but also your physical health.

Research has shown that self-esteem can be improved by practicing self love and symptoms of anxiety as well as depression can be reduced at the same time.

When we value ourselves and look after our body, hormones such as oxytocin or endorphins are released into the bloodstream which makes someone happy thus relieving stress.

This ability to bounce back from difficult experiences leads to better c