When you meet someone you fall for and build a relationship over a period of months or years, only to part ways, the damage done can haunt you for years — even decades — to come.
People are the most important aspects of anyone’s life because people have the ability to change us in ways nothing else can.
The right person can turn hell into heaven, and the wrong person, heaven into hell. Sometimes we find that the very same individual is capable of both.
Relationships that start off great often end in tears of despair. It’s not something that one can often predict during the onset of a relationship; it almost always catches us entirely by surprise.
You build a vision of your future together in your mind. You create hopes, dreams and you build anticipation.
You create a reality that revolves around your relationship and when that possible future becomes an impossibility, you crumble along with the future you hoped to see.
Letting go of someone who meant so much to you, who changed the person you are in a drastic way, is incredibly difficult — there’s no way of sugarcoating it; it sucks. Letting that person go, however, is possible.
More than that, it’s necessary in order for you to get your life back on track.
1. Take all the time you need.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that “time heals all wounds” — because that’s nonsense. Sure, time heals many wounds. Most wounds even, but not all wounds.
Some wounds stand the test of time better than any of the remaining wonders of the world. Some wounds are so deep that the only way time can remove them is by removing you along with them.
On the other hand, we sometimes find that time is enough. Sometimes time shows us that the feelings we felt were only to be felt in passing — as we passed on by and on to the next individual we love.
That’s why you have to give time a chance. Even if it doesn’t do the trick of healing all your wounds, it will most certainly numb the pain. It will turn those vivid memories into blurry renditions.
This may not solve your problem of letting that past lover go, but it will make it a whole lot easier for you to do so. It will get easier with time. Once it does, you can try one of the following suggestions.
2. Meet someone new.
Don’t hop into bed with the first person you see; sex doesn’t help with heartbreak — I can promise you that. But what I’ve come to realize is that allowing yourself to fall in love with other people can go a long ways to your recovery.
“Just fall in love with someone new, you say? How easy!” I’m not telling you to go out there and find the new love of your life — it was surely hard enough the first time around. What you can do, however, is allow yourself to fall in love in the shallowest of senses.
Don’t try to fall in love with an entire person, fall in love with bits and pieces. Allow your mind to wander and your imagination to draw conclusions that almost certainly don’t exist.
When people fall in love initially, it isn’t the deep sort of love that most of us search for — we may believe it to be, but that is why most of us become disillusioned over time.
When we initially fall in love, it’s a very shallow form of love. It’s the most romantic kind of love as it is based on minimal information about the person in question — we take what little information we know and we act as if that’s the only information we need to know.
Of course, once you find out more information about the person you’ve fallen for, you’ll surely snap out of it. Nevertheless, falling for someone on even the shallowest of levels reminds you that you are capable of loving again. Think of it as a small step on a long journey.