6 Ways Empaths Sabotage Their Relationships

Empaths Sabotage Relationships

What are 6 common ways that empaths land up sabotaging the relationships around them through their natural behaviors and actions?

Being an empath is not easy – you basically live your life experiencing your own feelings, as well as the feelings of most of the people around you.

On a day-to-day basis just the feelings alone can be enough to drown you, and any extra stress can quickly send you over the edge – yet, we seem to be good at creating extra stress unwittingly, especially in our relationships.

What are the common mistakes that empaths make that sabotage their relationships?

1. Thinking For Your Partner

This could also probably be labeled having the fight in your own head.

You know what I mean right? You’re upset with your partner and you start ‘venting’ or ‘practicing’ what it is you plan to say to him or her, and you land up having, and resolving, the fight inside your head, without any partner participation at all.

Yes, you do feel better, but your partner has missed out on the benefit of the process, and you substituted what you wanted to hear, your ideal responses, for what your partner would have actually said. Over time, this leads to a lot of disappointment, because you’re remembering promises and agreements that were never actually reached in the relationship, only in your head.

2. Speaking For Your Partner

In the same vein, as empaths, we have a tendency to compensate and speak for the other person.

You know how that goes; it starts with a thought like, “Okay, so he battles to ask for help and he sounds down and like he needs love. Let me stop what I’m doing and go and give him love so that he feels better.” Yes, you’re fulfilling your purpose and being a good person, but you’re also teaching the other party that they don’t have to communicate their needs, you’ll always be able to see inside their heads.

Over time you will also get resentful that you always have to stop everything to look after this person’s needs, fostering anger and irritation in that relationship, even though it is you that is the catalyst: you’ve created your own obligation to stop what you’re doing and meet this person’s immediate emotional needs.

Want to know more about empaths sabotage relationships? Read How Being An Empath Can Ruin Relationships

3. Looking After Your Needs

At the same time that you’re talking and thinking for your partner, as an empath, you tend to carry the load for meeting your own needs within the relationship.

So instead of going to your partner or friend for help, you keep on carrying them emotionally, and you carry yourself – not allowing the other party to look after you.

You don’t ask for advice or assistance or let people know when you’re down or low because of two reasons: first you have created a habit of only relying on yourself, and second you expect people to be able to see and interpret for themselves that you are low. It’s what you do after all.

4. Compromising Your Needs

Once the emotional load of the relationship, the other person, and your own stuff becomes too much, you compromise on the easiest place to compromise – yourself.

In order to save time you only focus on the relationship and your partner or friend, neglecting your needs and ignoring your system. Over time you forget all these small compromises and you just feel the heaviness of the burden. This usually vents in an explosion of, “Nobody cares about me or my needs.”

The sad truth is that it’s us who always compromise our own needs.

5. Not Expressing Yourself

A long-term effect of compromising your needs is that you stop expressing your needs altogether.

It’s like manifestation, in order to get what you want from the Universe, you have told the Universe what it is that you want and focus on it intently. So many empaths feel that their needs aren’t met in their relationships, and equally as many of us are guilty of not telling people what we want or what is going on with us.

What is going on with us is a big one here, because we don’t take the time to explain ourselves either: we’re too busy understanding the other person you see? For someone who is not an empath, the sudden mood swings and ups and downs, especially when they seem to be caused by nothing, can look really scary and confusing.

Looking to know what kind of relationships empaths like to be in? Read The Best Kind Of Relationship For An Empath To Be In

6. Breaking Your Boundaries

The last unhealthy behavior that empaths exhibit in relationships is around boundaries.

When we’re pressed to do something that conflicts us, our DIY programming kicks in and we have the fight in our own head – most often choosing to cross the boundary internally on our own. Do this enough times and you’ll feel like you’ve walked miles for the other party’s benefit, while they have absolutely no inkling of the level of sacrifice you’ve made for them.

Finally, boundary-breaking leads to anger: anger at myself because I’ve crossed my own internal boundaries or anger at another that has crossed my boundaries. Each time you allow your boundaries to be crossed, another little bit of unexpressed anger builds up. Over time this accumulates exponentially and you land up fuming with the person and hating them for walking all over you.


Originally appeared on Lifecoachestoolbox.com

Even though empaths have good intentions, many times unknowingly, they end up sabotaging their own relationships. If you are an empath, and you are guilty of doing these things, then you need to take care of yourself first. Love yourself and understand yourself, and you will be able to do the same for others.

If you want to know more about how empaths sabotage their relationships, then check this video out below:

Empaths Sabotage Relationships pin
6 Ways Empaths Sabotage Their Relationships

— About the Author —



Up Next

6 Most Empathic Zodiac Signs: Are You One of Them?

Most Empathic Zodiac Signs: Do You Have The Super Power?

We all know what empathy is; it’s seeing things through the eyes of someone else, not just understanding their emotions, but feeling them too! And the 6 most empathic zodiac signs are natural at this!

These are the most compassionate zodiac signs owing to their innate zodiac traits. But before delving into what zodiac signs are empaths, let’s understand what is empathy first.

What Is Empathy?



Up Next

Are Empaths On The Autism Spectrum? Exploring Similarities And Uniqueness

Are Empaths on the Autism Spectrum? Important Similarities

Ever thought, “are empaths on the autism spectrum”? Let’s explore the shared traits and unique aspects of both. Discover the gifts and hurdles that come with being an empath or being on the autism spectrum.

Are Empaths on the Autism Spectrum?

autism and empathy

I often get asked the question “Are empaths on the autistic spectrum” because of their similar tendencies to experience sensory overload from noise, ligh



Up Next

Empath or Enabler? Truths About Toxic Empathy And 5 Ways To Break Free

How Toxic Empathy Is Ruining Your Life and What You Can Do

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be overly sensitive and emotionally drained by the problems of others? Can too much empathy be harmful? Is there such a thing as toxic empathy?

While empathy is considered a valuable trait that promotes understanding and compassion, there is a lesser-known phenomenon called toxic empathy that can have detrimental effects on both the empath and those around them. 

Today, let us explore what is toxic empathy disorder, what causes toxic empathy, can too much empathy be a bad thing, and learn strategies to deal with it.

What is Toxic Empathy?



Up Next

Empath Vs Empathetic: 7 Differences Between An Empath And Empathetic Person

Empath Vs Empathetic: Differences Between The Two

When we talk about feelings for others, two words often come up: “empath” and “empathetic person.” While they may seem similar, there are quite a few differences between these two terms. This article is going to discuss the differences between an empath vs empathetic person.

Think of an empath as someone who feels what others feel, like they can actually feel other people’s emotions. On the other hand, an empathetic person understands and cares about others’ emotions but doesn’t absorb them as their own.

Read on to know more about the spectrum of being an empath vs empathetic person.



Up Next

The Healing Power: How Empathy Boosts Your Immune System

How Empathy Can Improve Your Immune Response: Best Way

Empathy isn’t just about understanding others—it could boost your health too. Learn how empathy can improve your immune response and be a unique pathway to well-being.

How does empathy work on a biological level to boost your immune system? 

Research indicates that you can heal faster when your body receives messages such empathy, kindness, and tolerance. These trigger an initial immune response—then your body’s natural healing forces can kick in too.



Up Next

7 Surprising Triggers For Empaths: Identifying And Coping Strategies For Emotional Harmony

Hidden Triggers for Empaths: Understanding & Managing Them

Do you often feel overwhelmed by others’ emotions? Do their emotions suddenly change your mood for no clear reason? If yes, then it is highly likely that you are an empath, a person who is extremely sensitive to the energies and emotions of others. And that’s why you need to know about triggers for empaths.

Today let us focus on understanding emotional triggers for empaths, how empath anxiety triggers can impact your well-being, and what you can do to navigate these triggers in your everyday life.

Who is an empath?

An empath is someone who has high levels of empathy and is attuned to others’ energies and



Up Next

What Is Nonviolent Communication? 20+ Tips To Practice Empathy In Communication 

What Is Nonviolent Communication And How To Practice It

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where words escalated into conflict, leaving you feeling unheard and misunderstood? Communication is vital for human relationships, yet it often turns out to be a source of tension and discord. So let’s explore what is nonviolent communication (NVC) and how to practice NVC.

What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

Nonviolent Communication is a powerful framework that can change our way of speaking and relating to others leading to understanding, empathy and peaceful resolution.

But exactly what is nonviolent communication? Developed by psy