Stop believing soulmate love myths.
When we were young we listened to jovial stories about princes and princesses falling in love and getting married. We were taught that we only have one true love out there and that this person (who is always the opposite gender) completes us.
As we grow older many of us seek to fulfill this romantic ideal. Some of us spend years pining and searching for the “perfect” lover who can tick all the boxes and match all of our criteria. In fact, some of us even carry around a mental idea of what our soulmates will look like, sound like, and behave like.
Being a romantic soul myself, I always thought that my soulmate would be a tall, mysterious, rebellious, Australian bloke. Perhaps I was simply projecting my own disowned anima (masculine energy) outwards? Instead, I fell in love with a logical, brawny, emotionally balanced man of Peruvian descent – a perfect fit for me!
But I’m not the only one who has experienced this. So many of us think we know what we want in a person, when in fact we don’t. And sometimes, when someone not quite matching our description comes along, we shut ourselves off, missing the opportunity.
To those of us who have experienced severe emotional and mental wounding in our lives, soulmates appear as a kind of holy mecca or “promised land.”
When we feel incomplete, lonely and disconnected from ourselves, the ideal of soulmate love becomes a beacon of hope promising to save us. Soon we start sincerely believing that our beloved will “complete us,” and thus make our lives meaningful again.
10 Soulmate Love Myths
Deep down many of us believe that there is at least one person out there who will fulfill all of our needs and desires.
In fact, such a warped belief is what causes such high divorce rates and relationship dysfunction running rife in our societies.
There are so many harmful myths about soulmates that circulate through our cultural dialogues. These myths end up as rigid stories and ideals within our minds. In fact, these ideals and beliefs are actually responsible for limiting our spiritual growth and capacity to mature as divine beings. Believing that anything outside of yourself will complete or make you whole is not only misguided but highly dangerous to your well-being.
So with this in mind, let’s explore 10 of the most common soulmate love myths out there:
Myth 1. You can “find” your soulmate.
First of all, it’s important to drop the illusion of control. Here’s a wake-up call: you have no power over when, where or how your soulmate will appear. All you can really do is be open and receptive to meeting your soulmate. The human ego tends to believe that it can control life. But life can’t be controlled. Life is just as wise, wild and mysterious as it is frustrating! Our soulmates often appear “out of the blue” when we least expect them to. But it’s also quite common to intuit, sense or dream about your soulmate before they suddenly appear in your life.
Myth 2. What you want in your soulmate is what you’ll get.
We tend to approach relationships with preconceived notions of what we want or need. So many articles out there that I’ve read recommend “visualizing your soulmate” so as to “attract them” into your life. However, this is another trick of the ego. The law of attraction doesn’t quite work that way. It is your thoughts and beliefs that reflect your reality. Your soulmate often isn’t someone you consciously desire, but someone you unconsciously attract and need for inner growth.
Myth 3. Soulmates will stay with you no matter what.
This is another highly harmful myth that creates a lot of unnecessary pain. As a species we find great comfort in the thought of “always and forever” (hence why marriage is so appealing to us). But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes our soulmates stay for a season, and sometimes they stay for a lifetime.
Myth 4. We only have ONE soulmate.
This point is a matter of personal opinion. However, I believe it is possible to have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. Talking to many people about their thoughts and experiences on love, I’ve discovered that a great number have had “multiple” soulmate experiences. Each was different, precious and life-changing in varied ways. I do, however, believe that we only have one twin flame relationship. Read more about the difference between soulmate and twin flame connections.