How falling in love is different from loving someone

Most people don’t know what it means to fall in love and to love someone.

The sight of a complete stranger can make your heart beat faster or make you feel a sudden flutter in your stomach. You can’t help but steal a gaze now and then, just to see him or her. You may start thinking of them day and night, and feel great urge to be as close as possible to them. These feelings may be so strong that you may seem to have no control over them. And then you realize you have fallen in love hopelessly.

When the feeling is mutual, people seem to feel the ultimate happiness. Love returned with equal fervour and passion is explained as the most blissful experience that one can have in a lifetime.

Falling in love is sudden and beyond anyone’s will. But those who have fallen in love before and gone through several break ups know how fleeting such feelings can be. Some people may feel they are in love, when they are actually not. All they must be going through is a sudden bout of infatuation.

With time such love wears away, when we get close to the person and see they don’t exactly match the ideal picture of a lover we had painted in our minds.

But, loving someone is something which is continuous; it doesn’t end abruptly and involves honesty and hard work. It is not at all casual or temporary because you nurture it with your truest feelings and deepest emotions. You choose to be this way, not out of some pressure but because you want to be that way. This phase comes when you have passed the initial stage when everything was beyond your control. Now, you are relaxed and want to take your relationship to the next level.

Your attachment to the person is not merely physical, but much more than that. When you love someone, you have this strong feeling to protect and nurture them. There is desire to take care of them all the time and you take delight in whatever they are or whatever they do. You don’t need to follow any written manual or guidebooks or relationship expert’s advice to know how to love that person. You allow your partner to teach you how to love them.

Know that your interest in your partner’s life is not something made up. Your interest in every little detail of their life, the smallest thing they do is unpretentious. Their life goals and endeavours find your support even when you don’t quite agree with some or all of them. The fact is you make their life your own.

There is no feeling of hate or disgust even when you are irritated. Such feelings never over power you. Falling in love is different as you can get over with the feeling in due course of time because you have not really loved every bit of that person. But, when you love someone, there is no going back, no chance of undoing it, unless of course you are pushed to the extremes from where you can’t come back.

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