The 8 Most Hurtful Sides of Love

Love is an eternal journey with shades of pain and phases of ecstasy. Here are most hurtful sides of love.

“This better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.”
― Alfred Tennyson

‘He loves me…He loves me not!’ No.

Petals aren’t the really best way to help you understand the feelings of your partner or love-interest

Complicated as it might sound, love is not that hard to decipher only if you understand the basic differences in various types of love.

Often, we hear our partners or love-interests or ex-s say, ‘I love you but I am not in love with you.’ What does this mean? Isn’t ‘love’ supposed to be the same?

The answer is no. Love exists in various forms and we experience multiple forms of love even if we are committed to one partner.

“…were all about love and lovers, damsels in distress swooning in lonely lodges, postillions slaughtered all along the road, horses rode to death on every page, gloomy forests, troubles of the heart, vows, sobs, tears, kisses, rowing-boats in the moonlight, nightingales in the grove, gentlemen brave as lions and gentle as lambs, too virtuous to be true, invariably well-dressed, and weeping like fountains..” – Madame Bovary (1856)

The conventional form of love as we all know is about two human beings loving each other, reciprocating each other and staying together as a family.

It’s definitely a wonderful feeling to love someone and getting loved back with the same frequency or perhaps even more.

But that’s all about the Love we talk about in general, the one we read about in fairytale books. But love is something more. It is not always reciprocated, and it does has different and often hurtful sides to it too.

It is also said that each one of us, fall at least once in every kind of love. .. with different or the same partner.

Here are the least talked about – the not so rosy sides of love

(1) The Universal Love:

“He’s not your prince charming if he doesn’t make sure you know that you’re his princess.” ― Demi Lovato.

Universal Love is the conventional form of love where two people love each other in spite of the differences they have.

They live together, get married, have a family; they are soulmates. In this type of love, the lovers are their each other’s world.

This sort of relationship makes both the partners feel secure, happy and help them in their personal development.

They inspire and encourage each other and never leave no matter what happens. Such a form of love is the most cherished one. Of course, we all deserve to be loved back by the one who we love!

Read When We Fall In Love, This Is What Actually Happens

(2) Passionate Love:

“They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can’t stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that’s a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!”― C. JoyBell C.

Passionate love is loving someone fiercely with everything you have. It can just be limited to doing everything to make the other person feel happy and to protecting them or it can be sexual too.

It can even be both. Passionate love is driven by emotions and often biased and blinded. The other person might or might not love back.

It is for this reason, a sense of insecurity works at the deep core of a passionate lover. It’s the fear of not getting loved back.

When slowly the person gets drained away by loving passionately, you go through a period of the trauma of depression.

Read The Kind Of Lover You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

(3) Unrequited Love:

“Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

“After all this time?”

“Always,” said Snape.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter, and the Deathly Hallows.

It hurts when one doesn’t get loved back by the person we love. But that doesn’t stop us from loving back. Unrequited love is that kind of love when we love the person who does not love us back.

You are just happy to be in love with your beloved; you do suffer from this lack of reciprocation but your feelings are so strong that you can never let go of your love.

(4) Platonic Love:

“We ought to have lived in mental communion, and no more.”

― Thomas Hardy, Jude the Obscure

You probably don’t even know the person you love; that person might exist in real world or can be any fictional character.

You love the person and you think you are loved back. It’s all in your psyche. You cherish platonic love for that entity and you are happy about it.

(5) Practical Love:

‘It’s not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.’ – Friedrich Nietzsche.

Practical love is the one where two people love each other out of responsibilities. You respect your partner for what they are.

This love springs from a sharing of mutual interests and goodwill. The love comes from coexistence and happens mainly to married couples.

Sometimes passionate love when reciprocated may become practical love. Universal love can also be merged with practical love.

(6) Sapiosexual Love:

“There were plenty of fishes in the pond,
yet i fell in love with a crocodile.” 
― Anjum Choudhary

Sapiosexual love is where you love someone because of their intellect. You love the way they do their research or perform.

It is their cognizance which creates a strong platonic and sexual attraction towards them.

(7) Infidel Love:

“I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.” 
― Edna St. Vincent Millay

This is one type of love where you love someone who is not recognized in the society as your better-half.

You are secretive about it and you don’t wish to disclose this to your partner because you are in a hetero normative relationship where only two people can be in a relationship and it’s against the ethics to love someone.

You may or may not love your partner who is known to others as your better-half.

Read The 7 Types of Love

(8) Polyamorous Love:

“So, a little advice. Relax. You’re not filling a job position. You’re looking for a pleasant acquaintance.. who might become a good friend… who turns out to be attractive to your senses… and a rewarding lover… then a committed partner whose heart will not stray. If you don’t see those signposts and in that order, then you’re probably on the wrong road and getting more lost with every step.” ― Anthony D. Ravenscroft, Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful: An Introduction to Polyamory.

Polyamorous love is the kind of love where you have multiple partners and all of them are okay with the fact that you have other lovers. They might or might not know about your other lovers.

There’s too much hatred in this world. Let’s love and let’s be happy about it.

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