Why Your Married Man Won’t Let You Move On: 5 Reasons

Written By:

Mitzi Bockmann

Written By:

Mitzi Bockmann

Why Your Married Man Wont Let You Move On 1

There can be various reasons why you may feel stuck in your relationship, especially in marriages, without being any of you at fault. Sometimes, some things can happen and you do feel it’s time to let go and move on. But what happens when your married man isn’t ready to let you go?




Are you feeling completely overwhelmed because your married man won’t let you move on? Have you finally found the strength to let him go but are you finding that he is making it very difficult for you to actually leave?

This is not unusual. Even if you’re making each other miserable, it has been hard to walk away and I am guessing a big part of that is because your married guy doesn’t want to let you go.



There are reasons why a married man won’t let you move on. Understanding those might be the key to you being able to make that final break, to get away from him so that you can have the life you want.

Married Man

Here are 5 reasons why a married man won’t let you move on.

I hope they help you get the clarity you need to find the strength necessary to move forward.

1. You take care of him.

Be honest? How much of your time is spent taking care of your married man?




Do you support him when he has a fight with his wife? Do you listen to him when he talks about how unhappy he is in his marriage, how he hasn’t had sex for years, how she treats him like a child? Do you provide words of love and support? Do you rub his neck and give him all the love you can so that he can be happy?

Before he met you, your married man had to deal with his life on his own. He had to deal with his unhappiness, his loneliness, and his uncertainty about his future all by his lonesome. For many men, managing their emotions is not something they do easily.

So, now you’re asking him to let go of the one person who can give him the love and support that he needs. He thinks he will be miserable, and he might be because he believes that you are the only ticket out of that misery.

Ironically, you taking care of him is one of the reasons why he won’t leave his wife. Why would he? He has everything he needs from you, all that love and support, and he can keep his family and his finances intact.

So, one of the reasons why your married man won’t let you move on is because you take such good care of him. Perhaps now it’s time to stop doing that and only take care of yourself.

Read: What It Takes To See A Man’s Feelings




2. The sex.

This is a pretty obvious one that I don’t need to go into much detail about but a big reason why your married man won’t let you move on is because of the sex.

Many married men have affairs because they aren’t getting any sex at home, or not enough to satisfy them. And then you came along and the sex was plentiful and amazing, as affair sex often is. Your married man most likely thought that he had died and gone to heaven, that you were the best sex he ever had, and letting go of it would destroy him.

If you leave him, that sex will go away. And that is a fate worse than death for any man.

If you are trying to move on from your man and he is not letting you go, know that one of the reasons is because of sex. Yes, he loves you, but sex is a major thing that makes it really hard to move on.

3. Obsession.

I know that when I was involved with a married man, one major reason why he wouldn’t let me go was that he was obsessed with me.

Before he met me, his life was miserable. He was in a job he hated, he was unhappily married, he was struggling with his finances and his kids were having a hard time. And then along I came and made his life wonderful.

My guy was sure that without me in his life, he would no longer be able to handle all the things that he needed to handle. He thought that I was the only one who could keep him from falling apart.  He believed that without me his life was hopeless.




So, one of the reasons why your married man won’t let you move on is because he is obsessed with you, he has a vision of you as his savior, as the only person who can make him happy, and that makes him paralyzed when it comes to letting you go.

4. Fear.

One of the reasons that you probably had a hard time leaving your married man was because you were afraid of what’s next. You were scared of being alone, that you would never love or be loved again, of the pain and the loss and the loneliness.

Your guy is in the exact same place, scared as hell. Only his is worse. You are, most likely, the only thing in his life that really makes him happy. The idea of losing you scares the shit out of him.

For you, your future is certain. You are not in a marriage that you can’t leave.  You aren’t scared about breaking your family apart. You aren’t worried about your finances. For you, once your married man lets you move on, the sky is the limit.

You can put yourself out there and meet new people, you can excel at your job, you can start to build a life for yourself that might include marriage, family, and healthy finances. But with you gone, your guy has none of that. All he has is you longer being in his life. And that’s scary as hell.




Read: What’s Your Biggest Fear in Relationships Based on Your Zodiac Sign

5. He wants it all.

One of the main reasons why your married man won’t let you move on is because he has it all and he doesn’t want to let go of it. I mean, who would?

As I talked about earlier, your man has somebody who can support him, he has somebody who will have sex with him, he has somebody who he believes to be his savior in the world. And he has his family. He has a wife who is his partner. He has kids he gets to see every day. He has a house that is comfortable and active social life.

He literally is having his cake and eating it too. Who wouldn’t want to let go of that?

Ironically, this is exactly the reason why you need to let him go. During your affair, you have most likely put your life on hold for him while he has been able to live a full life because you were there, supporting him.

He had you to give him sex and love and he had his family and his finances intact. He has never left his wife because he had it all and letting go of you means that he’s just left with what he started with, unhappiness.



Knowing why your married man won’t let you move on might be just the thing that you need to help you make the final cut and start living your life again.

When I broke up with my guy the final time, after blocking him everywhere so that he couldn’t contact me, I made this list of the 5 things above and kept it on my fridge.

With that list, I could remember why my married man wouldn’t let me move on. And my list made it quite clear – NONE of the reasons that he wouldn’t let me go had ANYTHING to do with me or my feelings, only what he wanted and needed.

As usual.
You can do this. 

You can let go of your married man. And what I can promise you is that, if you do, you will be way happier than he will be in the long run.

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Published On: Let Your Dreams Begin
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— About the Author —

Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.
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