If he wants to jump ship because I peaced out for a few weeks, then he’s probably not the person I want to grow old with.
I do wonder if the roles were reversed, would my husband receive the same level and intensity of questioning? I imagine not. Extended business trips are par for the course for men, from seafaring Vikings to modern-day executives. People are not yet accustomed to women occupying the same roles, and I suppose it undermines their expectations of how a wife should behave.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that these comments got me down. Even I questioned the validity of my journey and my priorities in general when confronted in this way by people I truly respected. Now that I was a wife, maybe it really was important for the marriage that I remain at home… but doing what, exactly? I’m a freelance writer, I’m trying to launch a business, and also I want to travel alone. Would it really make our relationship stronger if I were to be tied down?
The answer of course is a resounding, “no.”
Being single, married or anywhere in-between should have no bearing on whether or not we pursue the things that make us happy.
I’m writing this from a little cafe called Eva’s in San Ignacio, Belize. Not because I’ve abandoned my husband, but because, by pursuing the activities that serve me, I’ll be the version of myself that ultimately makes me a better me, and a better partner.
And because I like traveling solo. I like the way it forces me to depend on myself, to get creative in solving surprise problems, how I end up making more friends to avoid the loneliness every solo traveler faces at some point during their adventure. Some 1950s version of housewifery isn’t me, and I refuse to abide by that stereotype.
Besides, being single, married or anywhere in-between should have no bearing on whether or not we pursue the things that make us happy.
So I will continue traveling on my own, calling home when I can, and feeling secure with the knowledge the my partnership and my choices belong to me, and no one can take them, or the world, from me.