Although it might be common to abandon yourself when you’re afraid, confused, or not being who you want to be, make a conscious choice to stay connected. Therefore, when current issues arise, do not “turn on yourself” with self-judgment, damnation or deprecation. Instead, listen to yourself, feel your feelings, speak your truth, and take a stand when appropriate, and be your own best friend. During challenging experiences, you might say to yourself, “You’re doing the best you can, and no matter what feelings arise, I am here for you, and I will not abandon you!”
Remember to Save Your Past-Self!
The word “healing” means a return to wholeness, and this means that, in order to heal, you must embody your whole self.
If you abandon any aspect of yourself, for any reason, healing is prolonged. Therefore, even if you practice self-love diligently, as long as you judge your past-self, or your memories induce shame, you are still abandoning yourself (this includes your past-self who experienced trauma as well as any version of your past-self).
Since you cannot fool your subconscious mind, you cannot feel good about your current self while pretending your past-self is damaged or separate.
The problem is not that you abandoned yourself at the time of trauma. The problem is that you keep doing it! Therefore, to fully heal, you must save your past-self from abandonment. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between past and present, nor real and imagined, you can mentally go back in time and embrace your past-self with love and compassion.
However, it can be difficult to save your past-self when traumatic memories make you cringe or you judge your past-self for the things you did – or didn’t’ do. When this is the case, it’s time for greater understanding.
So, let’s be honest; if you now have the wisdom to do things differently, and make better choices, you owe it to your past-self.
No matter the mistakes or errors in judgment, your past-self not only survived pain and trauma, but he/she also forged the path that you walked. Despite the fear, shame, loneliness, and even lack of support, your past-self not only endured difficult experiences, your past-self learned from those experiences and evolved into who you are today.
So, forget about forgiving your past-self because there’s absolutely nothing to forgive.
Instead, why not celebrate triumph over trauma by acknowledging the everlasting gifts, lessons, and opportunities, and start seeing your past-self in a different light? Although we might need to search quite deep before we find the treasures born from trauma, they always exist.
Indeed, a perfect pearl may reside in an ugly shell, but, if you don’t open it, you’ll never find it.
So, who would you be today without your past-self?
Maybe, for instance; by facing adversity, you developed strength, by speaking your truth, you found your voice, by taking responsibility, you became independent, or, just, maybe, by overcoming powerlessness, you became empowered!
By expressing gratitude for the arduous journey endured and the priceless gifts received, your past-self receives your unconditional love, and, no doubt, when it comes to healing, self-love is the ultimate cure!
With love, grace & gratitude,
Copyright: Nanice Ellis 2019. All rights reserved
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