Boundaries are essential for a relationship to thrive successfully. Here are the strategies for women to set boundaries with her man.
Today, we’re going to be talking about boundaries.
No, I’m not talking about political boundaries on countries.
I’m talking about the boundaries you need to set on a date and I’m going to show you how to do that without scaring him off.
First dates are pretty vulnerable for women.
You’re dealing with a guy that could at his best be your next Romeo in shining armor and at his worst possibly be your worst college frat-boy, douchebag, a nightmare.
Again, I’m going to emphasize that most men fall into a very nice bell curve.
On one end, we’ve got the jerks.
On the other hand, we’ve got the wimps.
Right there in the middle is a nice big, hefty population of genuinely decent guys.
There are far more good guys out there than crappy guys. You just don’t hear from them as much because most men were a little intimidated to make a move in our current political climate.
Guys are genuinely confused and scared of doing the wrong thing when it comes to taking initiative with women.
And with so many mixed messages in the media, can you blame them?
It’s about time people like Harvey Weinstein and all the other creepy guys in the world were held accountable. I’m all for that.
The unfortunate side effect is that now it’s pretty scary for a guy to even consider asking a woman on a date when he doesn’t know what’s acceptable and what might actually get them labeled as another pervy dude.
So let me say this.
You can set boundaries on a date with him and avoid scaring him off in the process.
And it’s essential as you do this you have to set those boundaries because you’re going to be setting the playing field for your relationship with him, your entire future— all the way to marriage and beyond.
So before we get to the rest of how to set boundaries on a date, here are
3 quick tips on how to deal with men when setting boundaries.
1. Don’t say yes when you really mean no.
Not only is this incredibly confusing to a guy, it’s also leading him on.
Now I understand that it can be hard to be so plainspoken with a guy because you want to be nice. You want to be liked and you don’t want to be a bitch.
But if there’s something you probably know by now it’s guys don’t get hints.
If you pull punches and you don’t speak very clearly and plainly with him, he won’t get it. He’ll misunderstand and he’ll keep doing whatever it is you don’t want him to do.
2. Speak your truth.
Many women are afraid to tell a guy what she’s really thinking and feeling on the inside.
When you don’t tell the truth because you’re afraid he’s going to reject you or you’re afraid of any reaction he might have, you’re disrespecting yourself and you’re underestimating him.
And tip number three, which I’m going to be doing at the risk of sounding like cheerleading here but…
3. Don’t let a man run your life.
It can be easy to go along for the ride where a guy’s assertiveness and his will, his strong willpower. Sometimes it’s just plain easier to go along to get along.
Now this happens on the first date or usually happens when he picks everything out, right? Like the wine, where you go to eat, he’ll pick the appetizer.
Just make sure you get your vote on these things and don’t start out with a bad pattern.
There’s something I want you to always remember.
The CEO of your life is you.
Don’t ever forget that.
There are a few places you want to set some boundaries to make sure that you don’t lose your way in your relationship.
1. Where’s his end zone?
The end zone in football is where each team is trying to take the football to score, right? And eventually, they want to win the game.
Well, you have to know up front that if he’s a guy who is just looking for a good time.