Does Having High Standards Undermine Your Love Life? 4 Ways It Can Go Wrong


Having High Standards In Relationships Ruins Love In Ways

Does having high standards in relationships make it harder for you to fall in love? It’s common — setting impossible standards can keep us away from opportunities. Let’s learn how and what to do about it!

People have the tendency to use the “not my type” excuse to build that distance.

Why worry about types when you haven’t even said hello yet? Because these are myths about relationships and defense mechanisms, just like an invisible wall between you and the potential connection.

I’ve been there before, showing interest in someone until they show some back. Then, I’d create these ridiculous criteria that only hindered genuine bonds.

If your standards are starting to feel superficial or too generic, maybe it’s time to dive deeper into why. Having preferences is normal, but not connecting with people over those unattainable criteria is a red flag or myths about relationships.

Related: How Can You Avoid Settling In Your Relationship?

Are your high standards in relationships higher for others than yourself?

It’s an easy trap to fall into. Demanding more in looks, intelligence or success from other people than we demand from ourselves creates an impossible standard. It could be a fear of abandonment, rejection or even vulnerability that makes us do this.

These high standards act as roadblocks so we never get too close — that way we don’t have to confront intense emotions like love or hate. Understand that this strategy is all driven by fear so you can properly identify and destroy them.

One thing you must accept is that you’ll never truly know someone if you just look at them. Your ideal partner might not check off everything on your list and that’s okay!

Allow them the chance to surprise you and rewrite it themselves once they’re close enough for genuine connection.

Using high standards in relationships as an excuse manifests differently in everybody:

1. Avoiding New Connections: If every new opportunity feels like climbing the Everest then your standards might be creating a barrier

2. Running Away: Escaping when things get real or losing interest shortly after intimacy may have something to do with your fear of emotional intensity

3. Apathy: If you suddenly stop caring about someone, ask yourself if it was really out of nowhere or if it’s one of those defense mechanisms kicking in.

4. Pickiness and Judgment: Constantly finding faults in others rather than appreciating their strengths hints at a fear-driven mindset.

If you’re looking to break free from this pattern, the first step is understanding and addressing the underlying fears. Developing self-confidence and social mastery can be a long road but confidence coaching provides a shortcut for those who are eager for fast results.

How To Stop Believing In Myths About Relationships?


  • Be upfront and tell the truth.
  • Honor each other’s boundaries and differences.
  • Build trust, support, and communication.


  • Demand perfection from your significant other.
  • Use unrealistic standards to compare your relationship.
  • Let fear corrode the love you have for one another.

Confidence coaching is all about fast progress. You’ll learn how to form genuine connections, get over your fear of rejection and build the confidence that attracts women.

How High Standards In Relationships Might Sabotage Love For You

This journey focuses on the practical social communication we should have been taught in school. We’re also going to find your lost inner masculinity and give you advanced tips to eliminate any self sabotage at its root.

Within a short time, you will make massive strides toward goals that would take years if done alone. It’s up to you – go out blind into the world and find yourself through trial and error or with a coach who will guide you towards meaningful connections, a better job, and a happier life.

Fear driven walls are tough, but they crumble like paper when faced with the right mindset – unleashing real love and connections.

Related: The Relationship Checklist – What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

What are your thoughts about high standards in relationships? Are they just myths about relationships? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

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