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7 Ways You Ruin Your Relationship

7 Step Foolproof Guide To Ruin Your Relationship

Why randomly create a terrible relationship? By following my 7-step foolproof guide, you can make sure you do it every time!

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1. Take no responsibility for your own feelings.

Make sure that you do not take responsibility for your own feelings and your own sense of safety and security.

Make sure that you ignore your feelings enough so that you create an empty black hole inside that needs to be filled up by physical intimacy, things, or by someone else’s love or attention.

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2. Find someone to do it for you.

Look for someone to fill your emptiness, someone to make you feel loved, happy, safe and secure.

A good way to determine if this is the right person is if he or she comes on REALLY strong, promising you the world, or at least great copulation.

 

3. Once you find the right person, be sure to behave in one of the two following ways.

a. Completely give yourself up

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Completely put yourself aside, focusing all your attention on the other person’s feelings and needs.

Your hope is that if you are wonderful enough and sacrifice yourself enough, the other person will give you the love you are seeking.

Be sure to completely ignore your own feelings and needs, no matter what the other person does. Be the best caretaker you can be to try to have control over getting the other person’s love and approval.

b. Demand the other person live up to your expectations

Start slow, gradually building to becoming more and more demanding of the other person.

If he or she doesn’t meet your expectations, be sure to criticize, blame, chastise, berate, threaten, ignore, yell at, belittle, lecture, debate, and argue with your partner.

Your job is to gain control over getting the other person to completely give him or herself up and focus only on filling your emptiness and needs with their love, approval, attention, physical needs, devotion, time, and adoration.

Be the best taker you can be, making sure to keep your partner feeling guilty and responsible for your feelings of security and self-esteem.

 

4. Be the victim

As your relationship starts to decline, move more and more into thinking and behaving as a victim of the other person’s choices. This will lead to more fights or to distance, lack of passion, lack of fun, and a complete inability to communicate about anything, even minor situations.

In any discussions, be sure to seek to be right, win your point and make your partner wrong.

After all, this is a competition for who is the good one and the right one. Or, just collapse and give in, a great way to be a victim.

5. Withdraw

Start to spend less and less time with your partner, spending it alone or with other people, or in front of the TV. Convince yourself that your misery is completely your partner’s fault, and that you picked the wrong person, again.

NEVER EVER take any responsibility for your own feelings, needs, behavior and choices.

Never forget that you are the victim.

 

6. Get your partner into counseling

Seek counseling to get your partner to change. Do NOT enter counseling to deal with your own controlling behavior of being a taker or caretaker.

Rather, be sure to tell the therapist everything your partner does wrong, using the therapist’s office as just another arena to prove that you are right and your partner is wrong, or you are the good one and your partner is the bad one.

Above all, do NOT look within at yourself. After all, it is your partner who needs to do this, not you!

 

7. You did it!

Congratulations! You have succeeded in creating a terrible relationship!

Now you can miserably and righteously leave your partner and do the whole thing again! You get to complain to all your friends about what a terrible person your ex-partner is and get sympathy for all you’ve been though.

What a reward for all your hard work!


Written by
Originally appeared on ThriveGlobal

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Dr. Margaret Paulhttp://www.innerbonding.com/
CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages. Dr. Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967. Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world on the phone and on Skype. She is able to access her own and her client's spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public. Margaret Paul, PhD information Anxious, Depressed, Addicted, Empty, Relationship struggles, Inner Bonding - The Power To Heal Yourself! http://www.innerbonding.com
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