With love comes the fear of loss and being without the one we hold so dear. Allow me to take you on a journey and explore why I can’t live without you.
Here is the reason why I can’t live without you…
You are the first person that enters my mind both on the days that I have good news and bad news.
You are the only one who can understand me even if words seem to abandon my lips, even if I want to keep everything to myself, even if I refuse to open up to anyone.
You are always there, patiently waiting, perpetually encouraging me to become myself again and do the things that I love.
You have become a person who plays a significant part in my life. You have become someone I run into when my thoughts are killing me, in the middle of the night. You have become the only one I entrusted my trust, my faith, my heart.
And I wonder how you’ve grown from a total stranger to the person I can’t live without.
I wonder at which point in my life have I realized that you are more than just a friend to me. I wonder at which point have I started to slowly fall in love with the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you smile, the way you look at me as if I’m always entertaining you.
I wonder what have you done, for me to believe in the kind of love that brightens up my whole world, and makes me look forward to tomorrow.
I wonder how our relationship has shaped me to become the best person for myself, for others, for the world.
Because loving you is so easy, and fast, that I lost track of why suddenly, you seem to be the only air I can breathe. And without you, I am nothing but lifeless.
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Without you, I’m unable to find my purpose in this world. Without you, my nights are covered in darkness, with no stars, and moon in them.
Without you, I can’t remember who I am and where my feet are dragging me. Without you, my heart is blanketed with confusion, and my mind is dizzy with self-doubt.
And no one has ever made me feel this way before. No one has braved to take a risk, to come near me, and to actually get to know me.
No one has made an effort to bring out my mega-watt smile by their witty banters. No one has challenged my beliefs and principles in my core. No one has given me a reason to take a chance on love.
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But you are the only exception.
You are the only one I instantly feel comfortable with. You are the only one I can laugh uncontrollably, without feeling self-conscious.
You are the only one I can talk to for hours, and I will still not get bored. You are the only reason why I still live, why I still hope, why I still hold on.
You are the only one I think about when I’m on the brink of giving up.
And I want to continue living this way. I want to continue living this life with you.
I want this relationship to go on, without an abrupt, without an end. I want to walk on this earth with you. I want to feel the rhythm of our hearts as we hug. I want to touch your skin, to hold your hands, to kiss your cheeks, so I can remind myself that what we have is real.
I want to wake up each morning, knowing that even if the world goes down on me — I still have you.
I still have you to escape my worst days.
I still have you to run into when I’m scared. I still have you to confess everything that’s inside my heart. I still have you to love me even if I turn out to be a huge mess.
I still have you. And to me, that’s already enough. Because living with you is the best thing that I can ask for.
And I don’t wish anything either apart from being with you.
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Living without you is like living in a world without color or music. Your smile, your touch, your words – they all bring a warmth to my heart that nothing else can replace.
For more of his writings, you can like his Facebook page here: Angelo Caerlang – writer
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