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Coping with the Untimely Death of a Friend.

Coping with the Untimely Death of a Friend.

Day1– HE was admitted to the hospital, put on life support right away.

Day2– HE was unresponsive, with a damaged brain stem.

Day3– HIS organs had been donated.

There wasn’t much time before, but now, there was so much of it.

I had often contemplated how, by turn, each of my friends will walk out this world. The rest of us (then) wrinkly lot will dwell in the memories. But I was in my late twenties, slaving in a beautiful yet toxic workplace to pay my bills and build my skills, when it began. Real world stuff, you know.

My group of friends is highly diasporic. Catching up for a coffee doesn’t happen enough. HE literally dropped dead, far from us. It hurt because, we couldn’t feel all of it in one swift motion, unlike HIM. From various geographical points, calls came in, as we tried to make sense of it. HIS friend. HIS childhood love. HIS classmate. HE was everywhere, yet nowhere.

Maybe stress, the doctors had said. It could have been anything.

THE FUNERAL

There was a  funeral of sorts, far from his home. Some friends and some parents of friends that had known him. We shared fond memories. The parents spoke of what they thought happens after death, with an edge of authority. We nodded. We lauded a few cancer survivors among us. Then the parents vented a bit about the clinical approach of health insurance companies towards death.

My friends and I confessed our work keeps us busy. We neglect our health. We don’t share our problems as friends should. We didn’t know why, but I think we did. We liked to pretend we’d always be young and healthy. The world wouldn’t corrupt us- we wouldn’t stand that.

The snacks arrived. HIS best friend never did. We discussed, as we penned good wishes on a huge board for HIS parents, how optimistic the friend had been till the end. And then, radio silence. He was flying out to Spain the same night, to start a new life. Maybe, that’s why he wasn’t here.

MOURNING ALONE

Mourning was easy, living in a room in an apartment of seven faceless people, everyone locked up in their rooms.

I buried my face in the pillow, crying, wondering.

HE was gone. We were still here.

But were we really here- because we had no time for friends and all we did was work fifteen hours and come home exhausted to this little hole, to binge-watch some series and then sleep, dreaming about the deadlines at work, feeling the jitters, but no complains of course, the money was good and so what if people at work were jerks, not everyone’s the same as you…

But HE was gone. And we were still here, looping our thoughts in a little coffin.

Outside my window a vast expanse of the Marina spread out. Skyscrapers, lakes and lies. The most beautiful part of the city, where all the validation exists, all of my own priviledge staring back at me.

What if one of us died in this pretty house full of faceless people, locked up in front of our computer screens? How long before anyone found out?

LETTING GO

After a decade, we’ll look back at HIM, understanding how young he died. But in this moment, there was dignity in HIS death. We met up, mourned and knew, that his perfectly functioning organs breathed life into so many faceless people.

Did we dare to give ourselves the same dignity while alive? Why not? Were we guilty of being alive? Did we deserve any less than the dead? Were we misusing our privilege to live, by remembering the dead?

‘Get on with life.’ How? It could have been me or anyone, but it was HIM.

The next morning, I read an interview of our company Director. How he came to work only after having breakfast with his family and ‘dropping his kids all the way to their classrooms’. I knew, he left on time everyday. I sat right outside his cabin. Did he even know how long we stayed, day after day, to enable him time with his family? Did it matter to him, when he made this choice?

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7 Signs Your Life Is About To Transcend To A Whole New Dimension

If You Notice Any Of These Signs, Get Ready Because Your Life Is About To Transcend To A Whole New Dimension

How do you know your life is about to transcend to a whole new dimension?- Here are 7 signs life is about to transcend to a whole new dimension.

Life can really surprise us by adding a whole new twist to our stories. Sometimes we are prepared for it but mostly we have no idea when that bend in the road will suddenly come upon us. To be ready next time, watch out for these indicators which means that your life as you know it is going to change.

 

Let’s find out the signs that indicate your life is about to transcend to a whole new dimension:  

1. Connections are coming to an end

It’s hard when you have to cut someone out of your life or when someone does that to you. There is a lot of pain involved either way and these aren’t easy things to do. But sometimes it is necessary to let some people go.

When these relationships come to an end, it might mean that you are consciously choosing to transform your life into something better than what it is currently. Usually, this means that you are changing as a person.

You are developing and outgrowing some of the people around you and they no longer do anything but pull you down. When you change, the world around you changes; so if you are leaving some people behind, be ready for life itself to change.

 

2. Messages are coming in from the Universe

The Universe is constantly working to take you to the places you need to go. The closer you get the harder it tries to communicate with you so that you don’t wander off onto the wrong path.

If you keep saying the same number or certain combinations over and over again, the Universe is most likely trying to tell you something. These messages are sent in various ways.

They might come in through other creatures, certain thematic occurrences, running into one person repeatedly, etc. When the Universe is going out of its way to ensure that you understand something, it is best to listen because this is the knowledge that you need to get by.

 

3. Your sleep cycle is different

This is one sign that you cannot miss. If you work on regularizing your body’s patterns, the consequences will be nothing but good. Usually, our sleep cycles get disrupted when we are stressed, anxious, and overworked.

Your rest becomes fitful and is often accompanied by extremely vivid, disturbing dreams and bouts of sleep paralysis that leave you feeling more tired than anything else. If you are able to sleep regularly and for a good amount of time, it usually means that you are making positive changes in your life.

You are becoming less prone to succumbing to the pressures of your life and you are able to find a balance between your career and your personal life. This is going to bring about a lot of other changes that you might not have been expecting when you started out.

 

4. You have the feeling that something is not right

You will begin to feel like the choices you are making and the work that you are doing are different from what your soul wants from you to do and not aligned with the universe’s plans for you.

It is very common for people to get stuck in a rut that they struggle to get out of. They’re not at the place they’re meant to be and they can only get out of it if they are ready to dig themselves out.

Life will lend a helping hand but only if they begin the process themselves. When you look forward to changing and you feel like you are ready for it to come something big is waiting to happen.

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12 Signs You’re In The Middle Of An Important Life Change

12 Signs You're In The Middle Of An Important Life Change

You’re in the middle of an important life change and you might not know it. These signs will tell you.

“You are one thing only. You are a Divine Being. An all-powerful Creator. You are a Deity in jeans and a t-shirt, and within you dwells the infinite wisdom of the ages and the sacred creative force of All that is, will be and ever was.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

According to traditional belief, all of us go through a change in life every 7 years. Some among us can recognize it while others might ignore it.

Paying close attention to the signs will help us understand, welcome and accept these changes in a very positive way.

If you are not sure how to identify these signs, don’t worry.

Here’s a list of 12 signs which will help you understand if you are going through a major life change or not:

Incredible Change Happens In Your Life

 

(1)  You are losing interest in certain things and people:

In the act of welcoming something new, we often have to let go of something in the past. Don’t worry if you feel like having no interest in things you once loved to door in people you once loved to be with. This is all a part of the change.

 

(2)  You are day-dreaming quite a lot:

The day-dreams are becoming more vivid for you. You can sense reality in them. Deep down, you have started believing in them.

 

(3)  You feel an increase in vibration within your body:

Your body has started reciprocating to the changes. You can feel an increase in vibration in your blood cells, in your nerves.

 

(4)  You are enjoying the solitude:

A walk in the park, spending time alone at your workstation, staying in your room a lot—you are enjoying the solitude.

This is not isolation from the world, this is getting closer to yourself. This solitude helps you understand your intuition better. You have enough peace to meditate now and follow your intuition towards the new change.

 

(5)  You are reading a lot now:

You feel a hunger inside you to read a lot. You are ditching movies for books now. You want to read new things, you want to learn a lot. This signifies you are evolving. Your brain wants to learn so that it can adapt itself to the new change.

 

(6)  You have become extremely sensitive:

All of a sudden, you feel you are bombarded by emotions. Don’t panic. Just have faith in yourself and keep calm. You can understand the vibrations, the emotions of the universe. You are growing stronger and you can not only help yourself now but also be there for others.

 

(7) You want to get involved in something new:

You have that strong feeling of doing something new or learning something new. Don’t ignore it. It will help you with the transition.

 

(8)  There’s a tremendous change in you:

The transition is felt not only by you but your friends too. You are changing and your peers are talking about it too. Accept this change.

 

(9)  You are getting extremely zealous about your goals:

You feel the fire of passion within you. You are super-excited to achieve your dreams now. This is because this is the right time and you are going to fulfill your dreams.

 

(10)  You have started to understand that only you can control your life:

You have stopped blaming others and started taking responsibilities for your own actions. You understand that only are responsible for everything in your life.

 

(11)  You understand that hardships actually help in accelerating your success:

You do not whine about hardships any longer. You value these struggles. You know that you will become successful because of them as they helped you to evolve.

 

(12)  You have started to understand yourself better:

You are more confident about yourself now. You might go around asking for advice and suggestions from people but you take your final call. You feel that you know yourself better.

Don’t ignore these signs. Enjoy every moment of this transition and embrace the new life.

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12 Signs You're In The Middle Of An Important Life Change

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8 Ways to Change Your Ordinary Life

8 Ways to Change Your Ordinary Life

Have you ever stopped to think about life? Have you ever thought about your past, your present and your future? Are you doing what you like and what you love? Are you happy with the life that you are living? Are you doing something rewarding? Are you being good with your family, friends, and people in general? What are you doing to help the world?

Those can be very deep questions that people can ask themselves in moments of introspection and self-reflection. We should always ask things like these to ourselves, and we should “keep a record” of our answers if we really want to improve our lives.

The answers to these questions should show us that we have been improving, that we are not the same person, that we have changed for the better and that we are doing something different, something that will help us to diversify our life, and live it as if every day is the last day.

But if we have these questions in mind and we don’t like the answers, we should start making a plan to improve and to change our ordinary life. We have to start by changing our habits because life is full of it. We have to start breaking the mold. Check out the 10 ways below of how to change your ordinary life, and start having an exciting one!

Travel. For many reasons, travel is an excellent way to change your life. One important thing about traveling is that you can learn a lot of things: languages, history, or new habits. You don’t need to go far to visit different places: beaches, mountains, rivers, lakes, deserts, the tundra, or savannas are just some examples. Traveling will connect you with Mother Earth, its habitants and its places, and it will make you grow in many different ways.

Of course traveling means that you have to spend some money, so you should check your savings before planning a trip. If you don’t have enough money, you can always find a job while you travel. Today, the internet offers us excellent tools. There are different options to work online as you travel. Finding a job teaching English is one of them, but you can also be a virtual assistant, a writer, a blogger, a YouTuber, a programmer, a web designer, etc. The options are infinite! Just make sure to choose one that can give you some free time to enjoy your journey.

 

Volunteer. Helping people will always enrich our souls and our spirits. Being a volunteer is a great opportunity to give something to people who need it, whether they are victims of natural disasters, wars, poverty in underdeveloped countries, or otherwise. There are a lot of charity movements and organizations that accept people who want to help. Specific professions such as doctors, nurses or teachers are always required, but everyone is usually accepted if they are willing to help.

There are also Organizations to help animals in danger of extinction, and they are always in need of veterinaries, for example. Anyway, if you don’t feel like you can take care of a lion, a rhino, a panda or sick, poor and needy people, you can always help by donating money, food, clothes, etc.

 

Take a course. Stop and think: what would you like to learn? If you think about your favorite things, you’ll realize that there are a lot of things that you haven’t started doing yet, because we always make an excuse to stay in our “comfort zone”. Open up your mind! Do a photography course. Take aviation or navigation classes. Take cooking lessons. Do whatever you like! The course or courses that you take will become assets for you. After finishing one course, you can start working with that, and a few months later you can start doing something new. Your life will always be full of new things and new experiences. There’s no better way to diversify your routine!

 

Practice some exercise routines. Doctors and health experts always recommend that you do exercise 3 times a week, or 150 minutes per week. This will make you feel better, healthier and happier. There are hundreds of workouts that you can do, so we can avoid the “routine” part and start having a fascinating daily life by doing different “routines” during the week. For example, one week you can try pilates + running + swimming, and the next week you can try yoga + going to the gym + playing basketball. For the rest of the month, you can mix the options, or you can add more sports. Whether tennis, soccer, baseball, badminton, volleyball, kickball, cricket, gymnastics, dancing, skateboarding, surfing or skysurfing, cycling, climbing, combating or striking, there are infinite options to refresh your body and mind by doing exercise. Remember to complement your routines with healthy food, and if you add meditation to your health plan, you will feel even better!

 

Practice a religion. It’s not a secret that it is natural for the humans to believe in God. Religions are as old as human history, and they have become a way to meditate and think about our lives and how to become a better person. Most people acquire a religion when they are born, but sometimes they lose the habit as they grow up. Even though I’m not asking you to become a fanatic, it is a good idea to regularly go to your place or worship to have a spiritual connection with your God(s) and to consider the different aspects of your life where you don’t feel good. It can be liberating.

 

Develop or expand your artistic skills. Arts can take you to a relaxation level similar to meditation or exercises. Think about the artistic skills that you might have, and start expanding them by doing a course or just chilling at home to have fun. You can invite your friends and sing, play the piano, the guitar or the drums. You can start painting the trees that you have in front of your apartment, your neighbors or neighborhoods, or your dog. You can start writing a novel. Who knows if you are going to be the next J.K. Rowling! Remember that if you develop your skills you can increase the possibility of having a better job opportunity in the future.

 

Research. This is a good way to invest your time if you feel like you are doing nothing at home. Choose a topic, and start researching it. Look for something relevant, something that people are going to like. Go to the library, open your web browser. If you do a good job, you can even sell your work to an institution, government, website, newspaper, magazine or another type of publication. It depends on the type of work that you want to do, but I assure you that you will always learn something new and that you will train your writing abilities.

 

Cultivate your relationships. Having a good relationship with your family, friends, partners and husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is a key point to change your ordinary life. Everything that you do is related to society, so you have to like people, to accept people, and to deal with the differences that you can have with somebody. “Conflicts” and experiences enrich our lives and our capacities to be a better person. Start sharing time with the people that you love, you can even do some of the activities mentioned with them. Your ordinary life will start to be special.

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How Reconnecting With My Inner Child Changed My Life

Growing up I was always proud of my relative maturity. I simply couldn’t get on with people of my age. I was deep in thought and always reading books. That sort of deep intellect helped me progress in my career, but it didn’t come without a cost.

In my mid-20’s, I realized I’d managed to suppress my inner child. There was a lot of thought and efficiency in my life, but simply no fun and excitement. Absolutely no passion. The reason children are so cheerful and energetic is because everything is new to them. Every experience is a wonderful surprise. They’re simply never disappointed because they never start off with any expectations.

But that phase doesn’t last forever. Most of us lose that inner child as we grow older. Experiences, both good and bad, color our judgment and make us a lot more cynical over time. For me, that experience was a lot worse. I was irritable and paranoid all the time. Thinking objectively about anything had become difficult. Being happy, content, and curious was nearly impossible.

So, this time last year I decided to make a change and reconnect with my inner child. Here’s how I did it and how it changed my life:

1. Forgive Quickly

Children forget and forgive without a second thought. If two four-year-olds fight over a video game or something, they fight for a day and then get back to playing together the next day. That’s probably why it was so much easier making and keeping friends when you were younger. There’s simply no ego. As we get older we tend to get too caught up in ourselves. We take our life so seriously that a minor mistake is enough to ruin an entire relationship.

I made an effort to forgive everyone from my past this year and also forgave everyone who caused me pain this year. It’s not easy, of course, but it’s a relieving experience. It now feels like I carry none of my emotional baggage around. Forgiveness is also supposed to be really good for your health.

 

2. Create freely

Being creative is a natural gift we have when we’re young. You could give a child two sticks and they’d start enacting a scene from a movie they saw. It’s entertaining, relaxing, and a lot of fun. But as adults, we tend to have no time for creativity. Everything you do from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed is driven by results, profits, revenue, and deadlines. You do things that matter and have tangible results.

By taking time out every week to do something completely creative, I freed my mind and dealt with the stress of daily life. I started painting out in the backyard for an hour every weekend. I’m not Picasso by any means, but drawing and painting really became a big part of my life. I look forward to the weekends more than ever before now.

Any creative outlet will do, it doesn’t have to be painting. As long as you can spend hours doing something you love and creating something that makes you happy.

 

3. Say Yes

Being open-minded is essential. Adults are so busy and cynical that every opportunity is met with a quick ‘no’. You probably have a well-defined sense of self by this stage in life and anything that doesn’t fit into that narrative gets thrown out the window. You’re unwilling to experiment and you’re probably missing out on a lot because of it.

I said yes to unlikely proposals and bizarre requests this year. I ended up going with my sister to Jamaica for a conference and tutoring a little boy over Skype. Every new experience this year taught me something new and opened my eyes to a completely different world from the one I was living in. I was curious and excited to learn more again.

Saying yes to a lot of new experiences is also exhilarating. My sex life was a lot more spontaneous and my friends noticed that I was a lot more fun to be around now.

 

4. Ask Questions

I’ve never met a child who isn’t curious. Children are like sponges when it comes to learning. They ask a lot of questions and aren’t ashamed to look stupid if it means learning something new. So, I decided to do the same. I decided to give up on things I knew nothing about and ask questions from anyone who knew better than me. I asked my friend for investment advice and asked my workmate for cooking tips. To my surprise, people were more than willing to help out and answer my silly questions. I learnt a lot and managed to create a bond with some of the people who taught me.

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