We all have a rough patch in our relationships. It makes us question our love, our partner and even ourselves. We feel like we are not being appreciated, wanted or loved. We feel like that it might be coming to an end. That’s when we ask ourselves the most important question: is it worth fighting for? Leaving a bad relationship is as difficult as fixing a meaningful one.
But how do you know if you are having temporary problems or if your relationship has turned toxic? If you are arguing with each other due to external factors like work pressure and stress, then it may simply be a rough patch. But if your arguments are based on differences in values and start believing that treating each other poorly is normal, then you need to stand up and take notice. In a toxic relationship, you feel drained, helpless and suffocated. If you feel disrespected and a lack of communication, then you need to realize that toxicity has creeped in.
Here are some warning signs that you are in a toxic relationship:
- Either you or your partner feel contempt
- One of the partners is obsessed with the other
- Use of mean words and rude behavior leading to verbal abuse
- One of the partners act overly possessive & controlling
- Your partner acts cold and caring at the same time
Whether it is just a rough patch or a toxic relationship, if you and your partner have given up on each other, if you have stopped caring for one another, then no amount tips on how to fix a toxic relationship will help you heal what’s broken. However, if you feel that your partner still loves you, there is a good chance that things might just workout.
Healing a toxic relationship
Once you have identified your relationship as a toxic relationship, you can start taking action to heal it leading to a more loving relationship.
Here are a few ways to start the healing process-
6 steps to fix a toxic relationship
#1 Go no contact
First and foremost, take a break from the relationship. No, I am not asking you to break up. I am simply suggesting you to take a break from each other and avoid contact for 3-4 weeks. Of course, this can be a bit hard if you are married or live together. In this case, you can either minimize contact or live with your parents or bunk up with a friend for a while. You can also go for a solo vacation for a few weeks.
Going no contact will give you and your partner some time off from each other and allow you to spend more time with yourself. This is not a strategy or a scheme to make your partner value you more. It is simply the quintessential way to reset your relationship. You can use this time to reflect on your relationship, think about when things started going downhill and how much you are at fault for turning the relationship toxic. It will also make you and your partner miss each other and realize how much value you hold in each other’s lives. No contact will remove the toxic influence and bring the focus back on love and affection. Ever heard of the old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder”?